Sounds Fake, but Okay | ✓

t h i r t e e n

    He nodded, looking back towards Andrea. "So...how did they break up?"

    "Cat's parents," Andrea deadpanned, "thank god for them. They suggested she visit her grandparents back home and just take a breather. She actually got so much better. When she came back she was normal. She started thinking for herself, started actually enjoying her time with us and not worry whether Philip was going to get mad at her. She broke up with him as soon as she got back."

    "And then he went on an exchange trip. Out of sight, out of mind, as they say," Daniel mumbled, sipping from his straw. "And now he's back and here we are."

———•———

    "How are my babies doing?" Catalina plopped down on her seat in their study room, after setting down a tray of coffee and tea for her friends. She ruffled Jae's hair and gave Daniel a kiss on the cheek. "You guys are working so hard." She smiled at them with the pride of a mother.

    Jae didn't look up from his laptop but once she landed a hand on his forearm, he felt his skin light up in flames. "Yes?" He was surprised his voice hadn't just stopped in his throat and come out so silky smooth, as if he wasn't fazed by her proximity.

    "So," she began, and he finally flickered his gaze away from the excel spreadsheet to face her, "for the dinner this weekend, I was thinking to dress a little bit more...semi than formal, maybe a pair of black pants and a dress shirt? I just think that it's getting cold for a dress, you know? Plus, it's Halloween this weekend! I was thinking we'd all hangout, what do you think, baby?"

    Catalina noticed that he wasn't saying anything, he just stared at her, as if everything she just said was not processed at all. "Jae?" She pressed a hand against his forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"

    Jae coughed and pushed her hand away. "I'm fine," he said, through pink cheeks and a swelling throat. "This weekend? The dinner? I don't think it's happening anymore. My parents are leaving for the weekend, so you can all just come over to my place."

    "Jae's place?" Daniel pipped. "Won't that be fun! Is it gonna be a costume party? I'm excited! We should dress up, right 'Drea?"

    Catalina had been too preoccupied worrying over Jae and Jae had been worried over his loud heartbeat that they failed to realize that Andrea arrived and sat at her usual seat next to Daniel across from them.

    "Drea!" Catalina smiled but Andrea didn't return the gesture. Catalina remained unaware that everyone knew she went out to lunch with Philip and that Jae knew everything and that they knew for nearly a week now. "Would you be up to coming to Jae's? It's so nice, trust me, I love it there. It's so big!"

    Jae stood from his seat abruptly and huffed. "I'm going for a walk," he stated with the straightest face he could muster and pushed his seat. "I'll be back soon." He didn't even pay attention to the confused stares he received before he was walking towards the exit of the library, leaving all his belongings, including his phone; which Catalina took advantage of by filling it with selfies of herself and Daniel.

    Jae left the building, taking a short walk around the campus. He was starting to regret his decision of asking Catalina to be his fake girlfriend. He'd forgotten to promise to himself that he wouldn't start having feelings for her. Why hadn't he just stopped? He could've told his parents the truth.

    The icy breeze was a great feeling on his face. He closed his eyes and felt the wind blow through his hair as he took a deep breath of fresh air. Jae preferred Autumn over any other season, he deemed it as the most refreshing as it slowly descended into the dead of winter. He felt stressed, between his school work, his parents lingering around and the swelling in his chest when Catalina was around him.

    He sat down at a bench, itching for a cigarette. He'd left that habit behind in Korea in the spring but the stress was getting to him. He didn't like Catalina, he thought, it was just...some attraction. She was touchy-feely and since he'd never encountered a girl with such a powerful personality, he just admired her, right? Admired her boldness. Yes, that must be it.

    The quickening heartbeat when she was around, the tightness in his throat when she so much as brushed his hand, the anger that bubbled up in him at the very sight or thought of Philip, or even the smile and giggle she'd let slip when someone made a joke or he'd blush was just admiration, what else could it be? He didn't like her. There was no way. She was just...

    Oh god, he liked her. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach already just thinking about it. "Oh god," he groaned, "why?"

    The good thing was that it was just starting, he could restrict his feelings, tell her it wasn't such a good idea to continue a fake relationship. After all, she liked someone else. He could easily tell his parents that they broke things off and he wasn't ready to go back to dating, he knew they wouldn't press him too much about the gory details. That way he wouldn't get any more attached to Catalina than he was.

    He always distanced himself for that reason, for the reason he got easily attached and it never worked out for him. Although he'd never been in a relationship, he'd been let down too many times by friends and people he trusted, including his parents. He didn't need to indulge fake illusions of a relationship with Catalina.

    He took another deep breath, taking out the lighter from his jacket pocket. He played around with it, it gave him the illusion that he was about to light a cigarette and it calmed him as much as it could. The thought of liking someone made him uneasy, he was swaying from side to side, bouncing his knee as he stared at the flame.

    "Mind giving me a light?"

    Dazed, he looked up from the flickering light to see a girl. The first thing he noticed were her combat boots, scuffed and littered with flecks of dried mud. She was probably just a tad bit taller than him, thin long and tan legs. She wore short shorts which surprised Jae because her thighs were red and he guessed she was freezing. Her dusty rose hair was flowing down in waves, under a black baseball cap.

    "Hn?"

    She blinked and he noticed her eyes, green like a bottle glass, surrounded by flecks of smudged mascara. "A light, buddy." She drew attention to the cigarette in her hands. "I left my lighter back inside," she said as she threw her head back, signalling the building, "and I am not going back in for it."

    "Uhm, yeah." Jae shot up from the bench and lit the flame once more as she leaned towards him with the cigarette between her lips.

    "Thank you." She drew a deep breath and released, a puff of smoke surrounding her. "Ran out?" She asked, dark eyebrow raising.

    "What?" He was stilled dazed, mind going back and forth between the present and Catalina.

    "It shows. You look devastated." She pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her hoodie. "Here," she said as she popped one out of the box and offered it to him.

    Jae just stared at the cigarette, temptation creeping over him as he thought about reaching out. "It's..." His voice faded. He recalled the week before he met Catalina and how desperate he was for a cigarette over the stress of the huge lie he'd told his parents that he was dating and he had no one to help him hide the lie.

    "I quit a while ago." He pushed her hand away. "Thank you, though."

    "Ah." The girl tucked the cigarette back into the box and then pulled out something else from her other pocket. "Then this should help you," she passed him a lollipop. "Don't worry, it's not a drug or something," she rolled her eyes upon seeing his puzzled expression.

    Hesitantly he took the red lollipop.

    "How long have you been off cigs?" She asked, sitting down on the bench. "Hope you don't mind me smoking."

    "Uh, nearly seven months. I was only on them for about two years." He sat back down, next to her this time.

    "Well, that's good." She nodded as she finished her cigarette, putting it out and throwing it in the trash can next to them. "Iris," she greeted, extending her hand out to him.

    "Sung-Jae."