Torn

Chapter Eighteen

I heard the door being slid closed and when I turned around to face Annie, she had her lip curled down and tears streaming down her face.

"Oh, honey!" I said, jumping to my feet and holding her body against mine. "It's going to be okay!"

She wrapped her little arms around my waist as I ran my fingers through her hair, trying to calm her down. "Marissa and Mads are going to come soon, I promise!"

Annie shook her head and managed to get out, "He never showed up."

I'm confused. I thought it was Marissa and Madison she was crying about. Who's he? "Who didn't show up, sweetie?"

"Conner. He's mad at me and- and I don't know why!" She cried. "I told him I was leaving for two months and if he wants to come see me.. He could. But he didn't. Because he doesn't like me. He doesn't want to be best friends. Because I'm annoying. And selfish. And -"

"Stop that, right now!" I demanded. "You are beautiful! You are so gorgeous and the most funniest person I know and if he can't realize that, fuck him."

"No. I don't like him like that, mom." She said, holding onto me for dear life.

Now I'm confused. Didn't she just say she wasn't good enough? And.. I.. Fuck.

"Oh.. Yeah, I know that." I said, pulling her up to the pillows, and trying to loosen her grip on me for a few seconds so I could get her under the covers, but she isn't having it. "Baby, let go for one second."

"Then you'll leave me." She said in a tone that broke my heart.

"I would never leave you, baby girl. Just let me pull the covers back so we can lay down."

She let go and scrambled under the covers, staring up at the ceiling as tears fell from the corners off her eyes and down to her ears.

I quickly threw off my ripped jeans and replaced them with pajama shorts, then climbed into bed with Annie, wrapping my arms around her.

"Wanna talk about it, baby?"

"No." She mumbled into my chest, sighing.

Her phone vibrated between mine and her leg. She moved away from me for one second to check who it was; resulting in her violently throwing it across the room, making a smacking sound as it hit the door.

As she snuggled back into me, I found this situation very, very, confusing.

"Was it Conner?" I asked gently, obviously knowing the answer.

She looked up at me, angry, and harshly said, "No!" She shook her head and let out another cry, shoving her face in my shoulder. "It was the Kim Kardashian game."

Taken back by her confusing mood, I decided to just remain calm and pretend I understand what the fuck she's trying to tell me. "Oh.. Okay, baby. Let's just go to sleep and-"

"Fuck," she cursed under her breath, sitting up. My first instinct was to yell at her for cussing, but with the bipolar mood she's in tonight, I decided to let it slide. "I'm a horrible daughter. It's your first show tomorrow and I'm being a selfish asshole crying. This is about you, not me. We should be partying or something."

I giggled a little, pulling her back down, tight in my arms so she won't get away. "Oh, baby, my partying days are long gone. We can celebrate tomorrow. You're not selfish and you're not an asshole. You're my baby girl and your hurting because the guy you like- as a friend, is a douche. It's okay, princess. Let's just get to sleep."

"Okay. Thanks mom. I love you." She whispered, going to her original position before we fall asleep. One arm, one leg, draped over my stomach while her face is nuzzled in my neck.

"You're welcome, baby girl. I love you too! More than the whole world." I promised.

I'm confused- should I hate Conner or- or- I don't know. I can honestly say I haven't been this confused in a very long time.

Waiting until Annie was for sure fast asleep, i decided to call Wilmer. Oh, and I decided I'll just talk to Annie more about it tomorrow when she's more stable.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe." I smiled into the phone.

"Hey baby, how's it going?"

"Not so good." I confessed, playing with Annie's hair.

"What? Why?"

"Well," I sighed, and then told him everything between Conner and Annie.

"So, she likes this boy and-"

"No, no, no. She doesn't like him like that, they're friends."

"And he's mad because why?"

"We don't know."

"And he didn't come say bye because he's mad for an unknown reason?"

"Correct."

"Basically her friend is mad at her and didn't tell her bye. So she's more than upset.. If you ask me she like likes him."

"Well, duh she like likes him." I rolled my eyes, "but she doesn't want us to know that."

"She doesn't want me to know anything." He mumbled.

I sighed, "Baby, she'll come around. I promise."

"Yeah, I hope." He said, "Go get some rest. You have a huge day tomorrow. Good luck, hermosa. I love you so much."

"Thanks, baby. I love you more." And then we hung up.

••••

Five minutes.

Five minutes until I walk up to the stage.

Thirty seconds until I have to leave my dressing room.

Two minutes by the time I get to the third hallway.

One minute until I get to the end of the first.

Leaving me with two minutes before I rise up to the stage. Imma bout to shit.

I saw Annie and Natalie laughing, about to walk out the door. Probably to the stage. Uh, hell no.

"Annie!" I said, grabbing her arm. "Where do you think you're going?"

She gave me a surprised expression and looked between Natalie and I, "I, uh, side stage?"

"You can't leave me!" I pleaded, my voice raising way higher than I expected.

Gosh. I need my daughter way more than I think i do.

"Okay," she said, slowly taking my hand off her arm, "I'll go under the stage with you. But, we have to go now."

I felt thousands of butterflies and zoo animals bounce around my stomach, but the thought of seeing all my fans so pumped is making me pumped, so I'm pumped.

"Alright, let's go."

Annie and I didn't talk to much about last night, because she didn't want to. So, that's how that went.

"Aren't you so excited?" Annie asked, skipping ahead of me and walking backwards.

"Yes, now get back here before you crash into something, klutz."

She laughed and intertwined her fingers in mine, happily swinging our arms back and fourth.

I could hear Holly, Caroline, Natalie, Jill, and Max's voices talking back and fourth behind me but all I could focus on now was 1) my adrenaline. 2) how happy Annie & I both are in this moment. 3) I'm about to start my first fucking world tour, bitch.

And, before I knew it, Annie, Max, and I were ducking to go under the stage.

I got in my little cubby hole as Annie gave me a huge hug, "Good luck, mommy! Be a badass. I love you!"

I smiled at her calling me 'mommy' and kissed her head, "Thanks, baby girl. I love you more!"

And then, I turned around and felt platform rising up from the underground and saw the fans. My family.

All my nerves disappeared, knowing this is exactly where I'm supposed to be.