Artwork [h.s]

fifty-nine

I put the coat on, closing it quickly to warm myself up faster, before starting to walk down the street with my hands hidden in my pockets.

Having Liam model for me had left me feeling in some kind of way I couldn't describe. It wasn't that it felt wrong, it just felt odd. Liam had been a quite perfect model, but I kind of missed the complicity that there had been between Harry and I - even though I knew it was only there due to the fact that Harry had been modelling for me for five months.

I looked up, discovering that I'd inadvertently made my way to the park I usually went to when it wasn't too cold.

I walked to the pond, leaning against the tree and looking at the water in front of me. So different from the one of the ocean, it was of a greyish colour, and completely still. I fought the sudden need to throw a rock in side to disrupt its quietness, and I sat down, wishing I'd brought my earphones with me.

I sighed, taking my new notepad and pencil out of the pocket of my coat and opening it to the first page, staring at it for some seconds before starting to sketch what was in front of me.

I stayed there until it started to get dark. When the air became colder and the light went missing I stood up, gathering my things and getting out of the park.

I scrunched up my nose at the realisation that I would've had to walk back to my house in the cold, and I decided to stop somewhere to get something hot to drink during the walk. I made my way down the street, hands buried in my pockets, stopping in my tracks when I realised I'd just surpassed the cafe I'd hung out with Ella and Aiden at. Without thinking twice, I opened the door and went inside.

I knew in the second I entered the cafe that I'd fucked up. Harry was sitting at the same table in the corner he'd been occupying when I'd last seen him in there, staring down attentively at the scribbled piece of paper in front of him, the pen forgotten in front of him.

I wondered if I should've just turned around and left, but I knew I would've surely caught his attention if I'd done something like that, and considering that there were two large windows on either side of the door, I surely couldn't have gone away unseen if he'd noticed my presence. I took a deep breath, deciding that it would've been best to do what I'd come to do, and hope he wouldn't have lifted his eyes from that paper sheet of his.

I took some hesitant steps in the direction of the till, quickly and quietly making my order, not daring to look in Harry's direction to limit the possibilities of him seeing me.

I clearly wasn't silent enough though, because as I lifted my gaze from my phone while I was waiting for my order, I noticed that Harry had got out of his seat and made his way towards me, and was now quietly looking at me. I felt my heart sink almost instantly, but I didn't dare to go away and leave him alone so blatantly.

"Hey" he simply said when he knew he had my attention, his voice particularly low, as if he wanted to make sure that nobody else aside from me could hear him.

"Hi" I replied equally as quietly, the word seeming so normal coming out of my mouth, considering everything that had happened between us.

He pursed his lips, giving me a glance I couldn't quite recognise. "I saw you in front of my house yesterday" he shared, the sentence simple, the real question behind it evident.

I nodded, starting to wish they'd give me my cappuccino so that I would've had a reason to walk out of the cafe - and of the odd conversation. "Thought so" I replied, sending a nervous glance to the person that was working on the other side of the counter.

"You were in Liam's car" he said, not seeming to have any intention of dropping the conversation, differently from me.

Hearing him pointing that out made me feel in a way that I couldn't quite describe. "He was just taking me home" I replied, slightly defensively, feeling as if I owed him some kind of explanation as to why he'd seen me with him, even though I really didn't. The boy working behind the counter finally handed me my cup, and I thanked him quickly before turning my head to give Harry a little glance. "I'm going, bye" I said before turning around and making my way out of the door fast, shivering slightly as the colder air hit my cheeks.