The Breaking The Healing

Mixed Emotions.

He's so disrespectful and rude and after all he did to me he's still punishing me by telling me to handle my own decisions of blocking you off. What kind of human is he. Did I even ever matter to him?!
Is he really that heartless or I just don't matter to him.
He didn't even care even tho he knew how damn well he made me feel shitty about myself. The words the fake damn words, I feel even more used by him now. I'd say he is going to come back but is he really or is that the actual end of the 5 year road?

is he gonna ever fight for me.
why is it still hurting me so much.
why he's all i have in mind still.
what did i ever do to him to deserve this treatment.
he doesn't even care for me why am i still all broken hearted.

I don't know if i am okay or not or what I want. I am just so shocked of how much this truly got to affect me. I can't get over it to this second why did he get to me this bad when every single day I have more reasons of hating him and of him not giving a crap about me. I feel so trapped. This is the second time he is doing me this dirty, second time hurting me and making me feel like pure shit. I really want this person back? Do I? Sadly yes. Such a shame.

Will I ever be treated will by him?
Is he ever coming back to me?
Will he ever want me?
Are you thinking of me?
Can he open up for once for me about what he feels.
Am I gonna ever know?
Will I ever have answers to my questions?

Sadly I do because I fell in love. I swear to Hod J can't wait for the second I get over him. I swear I can't because I have been treated so shitty and poorly by him it honestly hurts so much to keep thinking of but can't help it. I've never ever been treated like this I don't understand why he did this why he is doing this. I AM SO TRAPPED. I am honestly hurt in a way I have never ever been before.

why did i fall in love with you.