As I Watch Him Die

Important Author's Note

This book is not a light read. If you are currently suffering with an eating disorder, or if you think you can not handle reading about this topic PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE.

I chose to write this because as someone who is currently dealing with her own eating disorder, I spend a lot of time with other fellow ED sufferers. I have spoken to quite a few closeted bulimics who are all men. Every. Single. One. I have spoken too has claimed they don't have a problem, that they only throw up junk food when they are forced to eat out with friends. That they only exercise for four hours a day when they eat over their calorie limit. When they only abuse laxatives because they have an important event coming up in the future.  

There's always an 'only' to their excuses, as if that invalidates their problems. As if they don't matter.

I get so angry when you see the world cater to women when it comes to body positivity. There are overweight female models, and it's consider encouraging, but if there was an overweight male model? He would be considered disgusting, lazy, sloppy, gross, etc. I do not stand for that.

There are way more men with eating disorders than you think, you just don't hear about them because men get laughed at. They feel they aren't valid because 'it's a woman's disease'. They keep it a secret, and some even go their whole lives without letting that secret out. 

I would like to shed some light on the men suffering out there.

To the men who hate their bodies and wish to be born anew, this is for you.