West of Nothing

25. Here's Johnny

"That doesn't prove anything," Skunkworks said. "A lot of things produce carbon dioxide. Hell, you release some every time you pop open a soda can."

"Soda can release most carbon dioxide in opening burst then less as reservoir used up. Same hold true for decomposition. All this I account for in my analysis. You read if you like. Best explanation is oxidative reductive reaction with carbon dioxide as main byproduct. That is why must not take air out of containment vessel."

"In other words," HotDamn said. "This thing needs to breathe, and without oxygen it could die."

"That is possibility, yes."

"There's a gaping hole in your logic," Skunkworks said. "If the X-Bot was exposed to the vacuum of space then it must be able to go for prolonged periods without any atmosphere at all."

"That may be case," Johnny said. "But it not mean process able to repeat. Nature provide many examples of one-way process. Every tree start as seed, but once seed sprout and grow into tree, it not able to return to seed state again. I not know this is case here but maybe not wise to take risk."

"Give us some credit," Skunkworks said. "Don't you think we can tell the difference between a miniature robot and a goddamn insect?"

"I am meaning no offense," Johnny said.

"Of course you aren't. But that's what you're saying, isn't it?"

Johnny looked to the major to step in, but Major Zeus just said, "Go ahead Johnny. Tell them what you told me. Word for word."

Johnny stared at his feet, nodded. "When study specimen, examination team make logical assumption that it electro-mechanical device. Bug-bot, you call it. Major bring together best mind in prosthetics, engineering, biomimicry, computer algorithm, self-navigation and micro-robot." He nodded to each of them in turn, correctly pairing them with their specialty. Mason felt a flush of pride at being placed on equal footing with the others. "But as research go on, each of you approach problem from own field of study. No one challenge starting premise even when much new evidence see light of day. Situation remind me of fable with elephant and blind men..."

"We don't need a goddamn lecture on availability bias," Skunkworks said, not appreciating the comparison. "And for all we know, you're a Chinese spy trying to throw us off the scent."

Johnny went stiff as a board. "Am Taiwanese. Parents flee from Mao Red Army."

Skunkworks mumbled a half-hearted apology. "That doesn't change the fact there is no way in hell all of us could have failed to notice an insect cyborg right under our noses. C'mon Corny, tell him he's full of shit."

"This isn't really my area of expertise," Corny said. "The main thrust of biomimetics is to artificially reproduce the mechanical aspects of living organisms. Synthetic biology is more of a genetic—no, cross-disciplinary thing."

"Doogie, you're trained as a medical doctor, right? Surely you'd recognize a real-life bug if you saw one?"

"Well..." he hedged. "It's been a while since my molecular biology days. The focus of my current work is motor-neural interfaces. And I suppose I have been a bit preoccupied with the universal manipulator."

HotDamn laughed. "Well, gentlemen, this is what you call getting schooled."

"What does this phrase mean, 'getting schooled'?" Johnny asked.

"It means we just got our asses handed to us in a paper bag."

By the confused look on Johnny's face, this did not make things any clearer.

"Not so fast," Corny said. "Skunkworks is right. This is an extraordinary claim and some extraordinary evidence is in order. It's a big leap to say this is a micro-cyborg just on the basis of some carbon dioxide readings."

"Naturally," Johnny said. "I too have big skepticism. Need to run much more test to confirm hypothesis."

"What do you have in mind?" said Doogie.

"First we do simple thing. If specimen function on animal model, then we see common characteristics of biology."

"It should eat, breathe and shit," Corny said.

"Wouldn't we notice if it went around laying turds?" Mason asked.

"If know what to look for, yes," Johnny said. "Insect frass takes many form."

"I guess that makes sense," Mason said. "I mean, you wouldn't expect a dung beetle that eats poop to poop out the same thing."

"God, Peeper." Corny shook her head. "Leave it to you."

Johnny took it in stride. "Point is ingestion and excretion are common feature of all biological systems, even single-cell organism."

"So maybe it really was eating the glass then," Mason said.

"What you mean by this?" Johnny asked, having not witnessed its use of acid. Corny quickly brought him up to speed. "Is possible," he said. "But glass have poor nutrient profile. Organic matter make better food source."

"What about the leaves and bread crust from the pickle jar?" Mason asked.

"I think we would have noticed if it went around chewing holes in stuff," Skunkworks said.

"It drilled holes in the cricket's head," Doogie countered. "We only noticed those because we knew exactly where to look. Those leaves were already pretty chewed up."

"This is all just speculation," Skunkworks said. "I have yet to hear a falsifiable experiment."

"Need take scraping from bottom of container to check for excretion," Johnny said. "Also cricket and leaf require work-up in laboratory."

"That's still an indirect approach," Doogie said. "That's not going to tell us what's actually going on inside the X-Bot."

"You make excellent point," Johnny said. "For that it necessary to take—"

"Biopsy," he and Doogie said at the same time.