A Broken Soul

Chaper Five

                Lucas came every night. Some nights we just sat in silence, him holding me. Some nights he begged me to leave. Regardless though, he came. I looked forward to seeing the sun set every day because I knew I would see him. He was so beautiful. His eyes were so intense when he stared at me. I almost felt as if he saw past my horrible scars. But when he left, I stopped fooling myself. Nobody could ever love me. I was so hideous. Hell, I didn’t even think I could love someone. I took two months of Lucas coaxing me for me to not flinch every time he went to hold me. And I still was jumpy if he moved too fast. In time though, I got better. I trusted him.

I told him everything, down to every last detail of the past two years. He listened, held my while I cried. He also told me of the village and how the pack was doing. He didn’t tell me much though. It hurt to hear of everyone I knew, I grew up with. They all thought I was dead. They had absolutely no clue that I was here, I was being held here.

                I cried about that most days. If I could only get out, tell my story. I would have a place to belong to again. All this time I had believed my father and the guards when they told me everyone hated me for what had happened to Aiden. I had honestly believed them.

                I was sitting in the corner, asking myself the question I asked so many times. Why? Why me? And in some dark part of my mind, I couldn’t help but still feel like I didn’t do enough. I was stuck here because I really did kill Aiden. I didn’t jump in. I didn’t scream loud enough. It was me.

                I wasn’t paying attention, so when my cell door screeched open, I jumped and scrambled back. It was dusk, so I could not see very well. “Wh… Who is there?” I squeaked out. I deep laugh vibrated through the air. “Do you know what tomorrow is?” the voice asked. I squinted at the figure, blocking the door. I shook my head no. He laughed again and chills ran up my spine. “It’s your eighteenth birthday Amethyst. And I am so looking forward to it.” He growled, stepping forward.

                I gasped and shrank back even more. It was Joseph, my father’s Beta. He crossed the room in two long strides and slowly kneeled down in front of me. “Your father has promised you to me. Be ready. And try to cover up those hideous scars. I don’t want to look at them when I am taking you.” He growled, deeper this time. My mind went blank. I couldn’t even process what he was saying. My breathing was shallow and quick.

                I flinched away as he raised a giant palm to caress my face. He rubbed his thumb across my cheek and I closed my eyes. Please go away, please go away…

                I didn’t open my eyes until I felt his hand lift away and I heard my door close. My lungs burned and my heart raced.

                Tomorrow.

                Tomorrow was my birthday.

                Tomorrow I was going to be given to Joseph. Oh Gods, couldn’t you just kill me?

                I began to cry out of sheer agony and rage. I let out a wail and threw my blanket and the metal cups in my room. I stood up and began thrashing around, hitting the walls, throwing the few loose items I had. Why!?

                I dropped down to my knees, causing pain to shoot up my legs but I didn’t care. Tomorrow my life would be over. Joseph would have me to do whatever he wished.

                I collapsed and fell to the ground, sobs racking my entire body. What could I do?

                Once it was fully dark, I heard Lucas open the door. He saw me heaped on the floor, crying. He rushed to my side and lifted my limp body easily into his arms. “Amethyst! Amethyst, what’s wrong?” he demanded, turning my face to look at him.

                I curled away, into his chest. I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe. I began gasping for air and Lucas sat me up and rubbed soothing circles into my back. “Shh, baby. Tell me what’s wrong. Who hurt you? I can’t… I can’t stand to see you like this. I’ll kill them Amethyst. I swear it, I will. You say the word, tell me who it is. I’ll kill them right now. Please. Tell me baby.” He whispered into my ear. This heartfelt declaration only made me cry harder.

Lucas was so pure and sweet. He was so good. He didn’t say anything else, only held me until I finally quieted. I looked up at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You are so good Lucas. You are so good, I don’t know how you do it.” I said, searching his eyes. I could barely see him. He was barely lit by the glow of the fire outside.

“Amethyst… I love you.” He said, looking straight into my eyes. My breath hitched and I held it. Love? Was I even capable of receiving that? “No, Lucas. You don’t. You’re fooled by old memories. You cannot possibly love me. I’m hideous. You haven’t seen my properly. I’m scarred and damaged. I’m barely even a lady. You deserve someone beautiful, like you. Besides, after tomorrow, it won’t matter.”

                Lucas’s arms tensed and he became as still as stone. “What do you mean?” he growled. I looked up at him, and my stomach sank. Why couldn’t I deserve him? I couldn’t I be good enough? Why was I forced into belonging to Joseph?

“What do you mean Amethyst?” he asked again. His voice was stern and deep. It sent chills down my arms, but I was not afraid. “My father… he has given me to Joseph. Tomorrow I turn eighteen. I can get pregnant. Joseph comes to get me tomorrow.” My voice broke and I began to cry. I was going to lose him.

His grip on me tightened and he remained silent for some time. He abruptly tuned me to face him and kissed me. It was sudden and it shocked me, but I did not pull away. His lips were so soft and they felt so good.

In some deep part of me, I began to hope. Maybe Lucas was my mate.

I squelched that thought and all hope. He could not be. I didn’t deserve him.

Even though it was wrong, I had no right at all, I still kissed back. I hugged myself tighter to him still and kissed him. He began to slowly open his mouth and I did as well. It was pure bliss. All thoughts were wiped from my mind and all I could focus on was Lucas and this kiss. This beautiful and wonderful kiss.

All too soon though we had to break apart for air. “Amethyst, my dear. Come with me tonight. Please. I cannot loose you. I love you and I promise with every fiber of my being, I will protect you. I will give you everything you ever need. I love you.” He begged, breathing hard and uneven.

As I looked into his beautiful eyes, I knew what I had to do. How could I hurt him? How could I put him in danger? He was too good for me.

My heart was beating so loudly in my chest. What could I do?

“Yes…” I breathed out, barely nodding my head. I couldn’t leave him.

 I loved him.