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I jerked my gaze away from the door to look at Lucas. He was focused intently on the door. His arm came around my chest and pushed me behind me. Despite the direness of the situation, I still got butterflies in my stomach from this one motion. He was going to protect me. Someone actually cared enough to protect me.
Before I could dwell longer on this long forgotten feeling, I heard huge footsteps clomping down the hallway. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn’t move or think. Oh Gods. Oh Gods. I was going to die alongside Lucas.
All of a sudden Lucas turns to me and mouths “Trust me.” I nod, unable to do anything else. Trust him? I’d give him my life at this point. Lucas had restored all hope I had in my village and pack. I nod again and he lowers me onto the ground, not breaking eye contact with me the entire time. “I won’t hurt you.” He whispers almost silently. His breath blew gently over my ear, causing me to shiver. I lay back, as he was urging me to do and he crawled on top of me. I froze. What was he doing? Oh Gods. He was going to rape me. I became deadly still and looked up at him, pleading him with my eyes. Don’t do this. Please don’t do this. I have been through so much…
He shakes his head and leans down and breaths into my ear, “We have to pretend.” Then he looked into my eyes. I’m not sure what it was about him, but all worry melted away. His eyes were so deep and beautiful. How could anyone hurt me with such beautiful eyes? I nodded ever so slightly. He hooked his arm underneath my body, easing the tension in my body. He then used his other arm to jerk his pants down. I felt my legs stiffen and I had to force myself not to shirk away from him. He was here to help. He just had to pretend. If we were “busy” the person would go away. It was just pretend.
I leaned back over my body and began rocking back and forth. I looked up at him and he looked almost pained. If I weren’t in danger of dying, it would be comical. “Make noise.” He whispered grunted at me. Make noise? What sort of noise? I wasn’t sure.
He began to grunt and moan. I opened my mouth, willing myself to make some noise, any noise. My eyes widened and I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t do anything. He looked at me expectantly and then his hips hit mine in a painful manner and I let out a gurgle of some sort. He nodded in encouragement. After that first gurgle, it came easier. I just breathed in and out loudly, occasionally letting an odd noise out similar to his. My heart was racing and my breathing was labored, not from the acting but from fear. Then it dawned on me. I wasn’t scared for myself. What was worse than my situation now? Death? That would be a blessing.
I was terrified for Lucas. He was a prestigious guard and soldier. He was by far the best fighter that we had. I knew this from the guards talking and me occasionally overhearing. I was being so selfish. How could I let him risk his life for me? I was terrible. I looked away from Lucas as a hot salty tear slowly dripped from my eye. I couldn’t allow Lucas to do this. I had to let him go.
I was so caught up in my thoughts it wasn’t until they were practically gone that I noticed the receding footsteps. Lucas jumped off of me, but was still cradling my body. “Amethyst, I am so terribly sorry. I’m so sorry. I would rather have died than hurt you. I’m so sorry.” He said, his voice breaking at the end. Emotions began churning inside me. He was so incredibly sweet. He was sorry? He was risking his life for me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried myself in him. “Lucas…” I whispered, not wanting to let go, but knowing I had to. It was unfair of me to expect him to get me out. He had a life. A promising future. I wouldn’t allow him to squander it on me.
“Amethyst…” he whispered back, hugging me tight. I ignored the pain and took a deep breath. He smelled like sandalwood and mint. I almost went cross eyed from intoxication. He smells so divine. I could stay like this forever.
Forever came too soon. I drew back and looked up at him. He met my eyes and in that moment, my heart broke in two pieces. This boy was so wonderful. “Lucas, you have to go. I can’t go with you. I can’t let you risk your life for me. You are so wonderful. And I could never repay you for the kindness you have shown me. Please though, go.” I said, looking down in the end. I felt his body tighten and for a few brief moments, my world stood still. Was he angry? Hurt? Gods please don’t let him be hurt. I couldn’t handle it. I felt his hand cup my chin and gently raise it up to look at him. “Amethyst, I will not leave you here. I’m not risking my life for you. I’m doing the right thing. I feel… I feel connected to you. I always have. Ever since we were little children, I have loved you. Please, don’t do this. Come with me. We have nothing here.” He begged, clasping my hands in his.
My lip quivered as we kneeled on my cells dingy floor, grasping each other’s hands tight and staring at each other. My heart swelled when he said he loved me. How could he love me? I was so broken. Everything about me was broken. My legs were never going to be straight again, they were too damaged from broken bones not set straight. I was covered in scars. My chest was disgusting from being slashed open time and time again. My face was misconfigured. I was so damaged. I could never be pretty again. I could never be good enough for a perfect human being such as Lucas.
A sob broke free from my chest as I bent, crying. Why had I done to deserve this? What had I done to anger the Gods so? Was it Aiden? Had I truly not done enough? It had to be.
The pain that was eating away at me was too much. I tried to silence the sobs that were racking my body. My heart ached so badly. “Lucas, go. Go, and be happy. I will not let you destroy yourself.” I said, looking at him while crying. He had a determined look on his face. His face was highlighted by a strip of sunlight, peaking through the crack. Sunlight. It was too close to day time. I felt a wave of relief wash over me. We couldn’t possibly leave now. It had been delayed long enough. He was safe, at least for another day.
One look at Lucas and I knew he was thinking the same. It was too late. Though it was a bittersweet moment for me, it wasn’t so happy for Lucas. His mouth was set in a firm line and his eyebrows here furrowed. “I’ll be back tomorrow at dawn. Please don’t deny me.” And with that he gently leaned forward and kissed my forehead and was gone.
I collapsed on the ground and sobbed. I sobbed and sobbed until I grew numb to the ache in my chest. Even then, I cried. I didn’t stop until my father came in and tried to “teach me a lesson”. I didn’t even cry when he hit me, when he punched me in the ribs. I simply lay limp, like a ragdoll.
He soon became too angry and let the guards have me. I cried when they left. I cried because this was even more proof. I was too damaged to be Lucas’s. I tried to move but the pain was too much. I looked down at my waist and saw so much blood. They cut me up again. My chest had a gash where they cut my left breast. Ugly scars covered my whole torso. I cringed and looked away. It was all too much. Why couldn’t I just die? I lay there and allowed myself to fall asleep. Sleep was where I could pretend I was away from here. I could pretend I was happy, and I had Lucas.
YOU ARE READING
A Broken SoulTeen Fiction
Amethyst has a fantastic life until tragedy hits. Her brother is murdered and she is to blame. She is locked away by her father, beaten and abused for two years. She is so broken that she has given up... Until Lucas comes into the picture. He finds...