The Exception - (COMPLETED)

12. Ruth

Dylan is sleeping beside me and for someone who has such a hard exterior, he looks surprisingly soft like this. I can't stop looking at him and for that reason, along with another reason, I can't sleep.

The other reason is big. It's New York big.

How can I share my body and my life with someone so completely and not tell him about my plan to move to New York?

It's wrong and I hate that I didn't tell him before.

Maybe I was always afraid that we would never end up here if I did. Maybe I seduced him under false pretenses. God, I'm terrible.

As much as I don't want to disturb his peaceful sleep, I have to get this off my chest. I can't wait a minute more.

I brush a few stray strands of hair off his forehead and bend down to kiss him softly on the lips.

Dylan stirs and does this man grunt thing that makes me equal parts hungry and satisfied.

"Dylan," I whisper and he grunts again but this time wraps his arms around me.

"Come here, love" he whispers and cradles me to his body.

Oh boy, it is terribly tempting to give in and just enjoy this. But I can't do it. Not to Dylan. Not a minute more, I said.

"I have to talk to you about something."

Those words work their magic and he awakens, concerned of course. I feckin' hate this.

"I need you to know something," I go on. "I'm going to move to New York to pursue dance."

He doesn't respond. Well, not with words, but his eyes do their thing. His jaw is tighter than I've ever seen it.

Once I open my mouth again, it all spills out. "Hopefully by year's end. I'm applying to the New York Dance Academy for admission a year from now. I think I'll have enough saved up by then, so that's the plan and what I've been working toward and I'm so sorry I haven't told you about it yet."

When he doesn't respond, I keep going, "Please tell me that you forgive me. I know I should have told you."

"Does Eoghan know?" he asks and I'm just so grateful to hear his voice even though I'm guessing he's going to hate the answer.

"Yes."

Dylan flinches ever so slightly and I know that he's truly hurt now.

"Why didn't you think you could tell me?"

"I don't know. I think I just wanted this so much that I was afraid you wouldn't go for if you knew I wasn't going to be around for the long haul. I mean, maybe that's not actually how you feel about me. I'm sorry, I've been making a load of assumptions about what I might mean to you."

He shakes his head, I think in disgust, and then sits up fully, the sheet pooling at his waist.

He doesn't look me in the eye at all and I'm so afraid that I've lost him.

"Talk to me," I ask him and it's one of the only times I've ever actually asked him to speak.

He can't do it though. Instead, he gets up and puts on his clothes like he would on a sleepy Sunday morning.

"Why are you getting dressed?" I ask.

But he says nothing and I know right then that tonight is over. Sure enough, he runs a hand through his hair, lets out a breath, and walks out the door of his own flat.

I'm shocked and stunned.

I wait for him to return, but he doesn't and when it gets weird that I'm still in his flat with the sun shining in the sky, I head home and try to get a few hours of sleep in, but it's not much use. So I take a shower and get cleaned up.

There's only one place that he can be and that's where I need to be too. I head over to Murrough's for my Sunday afternoon shift. When I arrive, Dylan is behind the bar with his checklist and working on inventory. I put on my apron and then head behind the bar.

"Can we talk?" I whisper.

"What do you want to talk about, Ruth?" he says, not looking in my direction.

"About so many things. About last night and what it meant to me. About New York and what that means to me."

"There's nothing to talk about," he says and tension radiates off him. "I hear you. I get it."

"It's not that simple," I argue.

"Listen to me. This is the only time I'm going to say it. It is completely black and white. It is simple. My life is here, my job is here. Your life is going to be in New York. And that's the way it shakes out. I'd never stop you, Ruth. I've seen you dance. You're class in every sense of the word, and I'll be the friend you have that supports you until the end of my days."

"Friend?" I blurt out. That's the word I heard the loudest.

"I've got to wrap this up so I can make orders," he says and flashes his usual amount of eye contact at me before he takes off for the storeroom.

And just like that, we 're back to where we started, as if last night didn't happen and my heart is broken.