Chapter 36

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Ryan•  •  •

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Oh my god, my entire body is so sore.

What did I do last night?

My mind draws blank after Seth stormed out of the back room of the Basement. I slowly pry my eyes open, rubbing the sleep from them and gasp at the sight of Nixon's apartment.

What am I doing here?

My bare breasts slide against the silk sheet as I sit up and I immediately freeze. One glance down tells me I'm completely naked.

Oh no.

I'm naked and sore, did I lose my virginity last night?

Just as I'm about to jump into a full blown panic attack I hear a male groan behind me. I jerk the pillow up and cover my chest before turning around. There lies Nixon on his stomach in all his naked glory. His dark hair is a crazy mess, he's not covered up at all, his lean body bare from head to toe. The dimples on his lower back staring me in the face as they had the first time I met him, his body has lost some muscle since then.

Oh my god.

I gave Nixon Hyze my virginity, what kind of apology did I think he need last night?

I quietly slip out of bed and tip toe to the bathroom, still pressing the pillow to my chest. Once the door is safely closed behind me I drop my shield and step in front of the mirror.

I look awful. I don't think awful actually covers just how bad I look.

My hair is a mess of tangles, I have raccoon eyes and an array of huge hickeys dot down my neck and chest. A memory hits me.

Nixon pushing me against the door of his bedroom, peeling my clothes off, his mouth on my neck, my hands under his shirt. His stomach feels so smooth under my finger tips.

Did he really have to brand me so many times?

My body is so sore it feels like I trained for a marathon last night, my legs are practically jello. I try my best to tame my hair with Nixon's comb but it really doesn't help much. I wipe off my raccoon eyes and relieve my bladder. When I exit the bathroom my eyes immediately go to the bed, Nixon hasn't moved an inch. Another memory hits me.

Nixon and I inside his car. I explained everything and apologized profusely.

"Other than Seth, Knox was my best friend. She may have been my little sister but I always made sure she was included in almost everything I did. Her death-" He takes a shuttering breath. -"it really fucked me up Ryan. I'm an asshole, I can't even look myself in the mirror most days. I fuck everything up, I've fucked everyone over." His sapphire blue eyes are shining, filled with tears he refuses to release.

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