Chapter 22

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Dan's POV

"Okay, everybody, so that was Roar by Katy Perry. An old classic. Next up is Matt Edmonson. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and I shall see you tomorrow morning! You have been listening to Dan Howell on BBC Radio 1." I took off my headphones and walked out into the live lounge to have a quick chat to Haim.

"Hey girls, great performance. It's really nice to see you again, loving the music."

"Oh, Dan, thank you! It's great to be back in the Uk." One of the trio said, smiling, I could never tell them apart.

I saw Fearne Cotton, packing away a keyboard, out of the corner of my eye, and walked over to her. "Hello, Fearne."

"Oh, hi Dan! You played some killer tunes on that show, I'm impressed to see how well you've slipped into my job!" She said laughing.

"Half yours, and half Grimmie's!" I reminded her.

"Yeah, I don't know why they decided to change the timings round, I thought your evening show was great. Just a change, I guess." She shrugged and carried on putting away the keyboard, thinking that that was the end of our conversation.

"Hey, Fearne, you have kids, right?" I asked, awkwardly.

"Where are you going with this, Dan?" I sighed and looked at her with my "please help me" eyes. She shook her head and beckoned me to follow her.

"Okay, what's the deal?" She asked, as we stood at the edge of the empty corridor.

"I mentioned to Eliza this morning about us having kids, and she told me how terrified she was of pregnancy and childbirth."

"It's a scary thing to do." She confirmed.  

"I know, but I don't know how to get her to understand that I'll be there for her, and that it'll be okay..."

"Dan. Listen. You do not get her to understand. Okay? You help her. If she still doesn't get it, then you respect that and move on." Fearne interrupted, fiercely 

"But it's kids! How am I meant to move on? It's my life too."

"Look, In my experience. If you're not prepared to respect her wishes, when it comes to things like this, if you're not prepared to move on. Then you don't really love her. If something like this is going to be the reason you brake up, then to her, your wishes are greater than hers. You see, when you love someone, you love every aspect of them. Everything. Even the decisions they make. Even if you disagree, you can still see where they are coming from and work with that. There isn't a right and a wrong answer when it comes down to this."

I sighed, shook my head and whispered, "I love her, Fearne, I do. I respect her. I think she's incredible and I know she can do this. I know she can be a mum."

"You have to tell her that."

"It won't make a difference. She's built a wall of terror." I tried to emphasis how big this wall was with my hand gestures.

"Your job, as the husband, is to always knock down that wall." She rested a hand on my shoulder.

"What if she still says no?" I asked, pathetically.

"If she does, then you have to make that choice, Dan, not me." She gave me a sympathetic look and walked back to the live lounge.

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