no mercy fic

15

"you're back" wonho said as the front door closed, revealing changkyun, his nose and face red from the cold night wind.

"yeah" changkyun replied with a small smile, sniffling.

"you're not sick too are you?" wonho asked, voice laced with concern.

"too?" changkyun asked.

wonho nodded, "mhmm hyungwon came home a little before you but he's in the spare room sleeping now. he probably caught a cold."

a million thoughts were swimming around changkyun's head, the only one that made sense was the jacket he had in his hands.

although hyungwon had lent the younger the jacket, for some reason changkyun didn't feel comfortable to wear it on the way home. it was probably stupid but changkyun felt like he hadn't got permission to wear it, which was why he had it in his hands the whole way back.

"if you're sick too, hyunwoo is buying more medicine. hyungwon had the last of it"

changkyun nodded before declining the older's invitation to dinner.

putting his backpack on his bed, the youngest then moved to the spare room.

they had one spare room which would be the manager's room once the boys debuted. as of the moment it was really more of a storage room with one thin mattress.

opening the door softly, changkyun crinkled his nose, the smell of dust and mothballs hitting his nose.

they hadn't had time to put the curtains up in the room and so the room was filled with the dim lights of the lights from outside.

"hyungwon?" changkyun whispered as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. he could see hyungwon's figure on the mattress and his heart dropped a little.

there was no response and changkyun closed the door silently before walking back to his own bed. 

he wanted to cry but he couldn't. not when he was the reason hyungwon was sick. no. he didn't have the right to cry. it was his fault.

covering himself in his blanket, he put his headphones in before he slowly drifted off to the sleep, his heart and head heavy with guilt and thoughts.

-

changkyun didn't feel too good when he woke up. his body had healed, his wound now just a scar and he had been healthy and doing fine until yesterday.

his head felt heavy and his heart too. the guilt an unbearable weight on his heart.

when he climbed down the bunk, he realised something was definitely not right and when he reached the kitchen his suspicions were right.

plucking the yellow post-it note off the small kitchen table, changkyun read it to himself.

'we asked for a day off so you two could rest, we'll be practising so you two rest well'

changkyun could tell from the neat handwriting it was kihyun and a small smile formed on his face. he liked his older brothers.

looking around changkyun spotted a large pot and when he opened it, the smell of chicken soup blessed his senses.

heating up the soup on the stove, the younger decided to check up on hyungwon.

he felt bad that hyungwon had to sleep in the storage room but also felt a sense of respect at the thought that hyungwon had sacrificed himself so that the other members wouldn't get sick.

knocking on the door, changkyun entered when there was no response. he moved closer to the older boy before he gently raised his hand to touch hyungwon's forehead.

'his face is so small' changkyun thought to himself and the younger couldn't stop himself from admiring the older for a few seconds.

'at least he doesn't seem to have a fever' changkyun thought before leaving to check up on the soup.

after 5 minutes, the soup was boiling and changkyun went to wake the older up after reducing the heat.

"hyungwon" the younger started softly as he walked closer to the older.

"hyungwon, the food is ready" changkyun said, a little louder.

this time the younger put a hand on hyungwon's shoulder as he slightly shook him.

"hyungwon, wake up"

a low groan could be heard before hyungwon grimaced, a look of pain on his face and it was at that moment changkyun felt like crying again.

"hyungwon.... please wake up and eat something"

another groan was heard before hyungwon opened his eyes, his hands immediately going to rub at his temples.

"mm" it was a short and gruff sign of acknowledgement and changkyun quickly left, not wanting to cry in front of the older.

it took the tall boy a few minutes to get to the kitchen but when he arrived he was greeted by a hot bowl of chicken soup, a bowl of rice and some side dishes. on the other side of the table was also changkyun.

sitting down in silence, hyungwon took a sip of the soup, made sure it was edible before practically scarfing everything down.

'so he was hungry' changkyun thought to himself.

"do you want some more?" changkyun asked, his voice slightly strained from holding in his sobs.

hyungwon pointed to the nearly empty bowl of soup and changkyun immediately rushed to refill it.

the older boy was feeling much better with some warm food in his tummy and it was only now that he realised how tense changkyun's shoulders looked, how anxious his face looked.

when hyungwon finished his meal, changkyun gathered the dishes before washing them too. hyungwon watched in his seat.

"why are you acting like this?" hyungwon finally asked, his voice stern but much weaker.

"l-like what?" changkyun asked, although he knew.

"like that" hyungwon deadpanned, his voice indicating that he wasn't up for any nonsense.

"i...i" changkyun stuttered as he looked at the bubbles in the sink "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry" and with that the tears escaped his eyes, the spoon he had been washing, dropping from his grip.

he tried to control his tears but everything he was doing only seemed to make it worse and soon he was sobbing, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably, his hands still smothered in detergent bubbles.

"why, what are you talking about?" hyungwon replied, sincerely curious and concerned.

when there was no answer, hyungwon grimaced a little as he moved out of his seat and next to the younger. he put a hand on the younger's shaking shoulders, his heart aching as he watched this young boy break down.

and in between the sobs, hyungwon could make out the words 'make you sick'. 

maybe, his heart melted just a little and without thinking, the older pulled the younger into a warm hug.

no words were exchanged as hyungwon hugged the younger, patting his head, patting his back.

when the two finally came apart, changkyun stared into hyungwon's eyes, his eyes so round and so curious.

"it's not your fault... for...everything"

those 6 words. those 6 words meant so much for the both of them.

-

apologies for such a long time with no updates :( if you are still reading this, i love you <3