The Monster Within

Chapter 58

Emma's stomach drops out from under her, a new wave of pure guilt coursing through her body. Her knees become extremely weak, bile climbs up into her throat, and she cannot hold the glass for her son to drink from any longer. She quickly gives it to David and races out of the room. She frantically searches until she sees the sign for the bathroom at the end of the hall. Her legs are running on borrowed adrenaline as each step feels like an eternity, everything else is a blur to her as she hurries to the wheelchair accessible bathroom, hand clamped over her mouth. There might be voices and people around her, but she cannot hear them any longer.

She barely makes it before she collapses against the bowl and is violently ill. Everything that she'd been holding in for the past few months; the secrets, the guilt, the anger, the fear, everything surges through her body as her stomach empties itself into the toilet. Sweat beads on her forehead and tears stream down her face. It felt exactly like when she was in captivity having morning sickness with Sophie. It feels like she's expelling her guts to the point that nothing will come out, no matter how hard she forces it too. Her stomach feels empty and her mouth is disgusting, but it doesn't matter. It feels as though she's been stabbed with a red-hot iron spear, from her head straight through to her feet burning her insides. The pain is indescribable as she continues to dry heave and gasp for air. Her lungs no longer work and she's drowning in everything that's happened. She brought this on herself; she should have said something, fear should not have stopped her from trying to protect her family and now...

Emma collapses sideways onto the tiled floor, not caring if it was filthy or not. Her body no longer has the strength to stay upright, all the energy she had gone out when she threw up. Her frail frame begins to shake from the pain and the tears keep staining her face, rolling down into her blonde hair as she lays on the floor. Her ears are ringing, so no sound can enter, and her mind is a tangled whirlwind of horrible thoughts. She lets out an anguished scream, thinking there is no other way to express her throbbing grief and guilt. She gazes almost blindly into the fluorescent lights above her and she only hears her own heartbeat before everything goes black.

...

When Emma opens her eyes, she's in a dimly lit room. She's laying on a bed and there's an IV in her arm. Her head is pounding in pain, despite laying on a pillow and she can still hear her heart, threatening to break her chest with all the power her body can muster.

She begins to wonder how the hell did she get here and then she sees Elsa sitting in a chair next to her.

When the platinum blonde realizes that her friend is awake, she immediately stands up and wraps Emma Swan in a tight embrace.

"Oh my god Emma!" she squeaks, no longer able to hold back her tears. "Are you okay?"

At first, she says nothing, Emma realizes that her throat is raw, probably from the screaming. She turns to see a glass of water near her nightstand. Breaking from Elsa's hug, Emma takes a small sip of water and then begins to speak.

"What happened?" she asks, her voice still a bit hoarse.

"I was coming down the hallway to see you, Mary Margaret, and Henry, when you ran out of the room like it was on fire. I called out to you, but you didn't hear me, and I watched you enter the bathroom. Both David and I chased after you, only to find that the door seemed stuck. We heard you scream something awful, and David practically had to break the door down to get in. There was a heavy metal garbage can in front of the door, I think you might have knocked it over when you entered. We found you on the floor unconscious and David carried you to the nearest nurses' station to get help. They put you in a quiet room and gave you an IV to prevent you from becoming dehydrated."

"Where... where is everyone else... Henry..."

"Regina is with him. He was pretty scared when you ran out of the room like that, but she finally managed to get him to sleep for a little bit."

"And Mary Margaret?"

"She's okay, David is with her, so I stayed with you."

"Thank you," Emma whispers quietly.

"You're welcome, but what happened Emma? What made you get sick and what made you scream?"

Tears just well up in her eyes again and Emma just pulls Elsa into a tight hug, sobbing as she does so. While her friend has no idea what's going on, she provides the comfort the blonde needs.

Emma weeps heavily, still unable to get rid of the awful feelings that swirled around inside of her. These feelings would plague her for the rest of her life. She did nothing and now Sophie and Killian are in grave danger.

All she manages to say to Elsa is.

"It's all my fault..."

A/N: Thank you for the continued support from everyone and here is a new, very intense chapter for you. Please review.