Aya's Confusion(Book 1)[Gxg]

F5. Over and Done

Aya shrugged her shoulders. "I'm fine, I guess..." she said and sighed. "At least nalaman ko na ang totoo ngayon, hindi 'yong lagi na lang akong nanghuhula." Aya's wide-set eyes saddened.

Nakikisimpatya namang nakatingin sa kanya si Ivy. "Wait — " itinaas nito ang kamay, "before you continue... Can you clarify first kung sino do'n sa dalawa ang tinutukoy mo? Is it the guy or the girl?" lito nitong tanong.

Napatawa naman si Aya. Parang nainsulto siya sa tanong. "Sa tingin mo papatol ako sa lalaki?"

Napataas ng dalawang kamay si Ivy. "Well... I'm sorry. I'm just asking." The journalist chuckled good-naturedly. "All right, continue." Nagseryoso muli ito ng mukha at naghanda nang makinig. Ipinatong pa sa palad ang baba habang nakatukod ang siko sa mesa.

Nangiti na lang din si Aya. Nasaan na nga ba siya? "Well... 'yon nga. Mabuti na rin na nalaman kong niloloko lang niya 'ko. But the truth hurts. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. I have been blinded for too long. The signs were there but I just ignored them. Because I love her."

Naalala ni Aya ang ang nakikita niya noong pakikipag-flirt ni Yuna sa mga lalaki. Ang sabi nito ay ginagawa lang nito iyon para i-divert ang usapan tungkol sa kanila. But thinking about it now... She should have known better. Gusto niyang mailing sa sarili. Ang tanga pala niya.

"... now, I couldn't talk to her, I couldn't see her. Natatakot ako na kapag nakausap at nakaharap ko na siya ay bumigay na naman ako. And damn hell, it frustrates me."

Tahimik lang na nakikinig si Ivy habang nakatitig sa kanya. Ito ang tipo ng taong pakikinggan muna lahat ng sides bago mag-komento sa isang bagay. Alam iyon ni Aya kaya nagpatuloy lang siya.

"... I missed her. I'm secretly hoping she will go after me and tell me that what I saw is not true; that Mike means nothing to her; that it was just an act; that she chooses me. But it was all nothing but dumb hope." Napailing si Aya. "What if she did tell me the things I wanted to hear, then?" she asked rhetorically and turned to look at Ivy, "pero 'yon pala... I just dig my hell hole much deeper. I really don't know what to feel and think anymore," she added frustratingly. Pati ang iniinom na shake ay napagbuntunan niya ng inis. Lasog-lasog na tuloy ang straw.

Ivy studied her, letting the information sink before saying anything. Bago pa man ito makapagsalita ay siya namang pagdating ng inorder nila. Inantay muna nitong mai-serve lahat bago magtanong, "do you want to eat first? Or talk?"

Aya eyed the food. She hadn't eaten much since Yuna, and now she felt hungry. "Let's eat first. I'm starving!" she said rather enthusiastically.

Ivy chuckled at her, but compassion can be seen in the dark eyes. "Dahan-dahan lang..." puna nito. "Mukhang gutom na gutom ka talaga, ah."

"Oo, eh. Hindi ko na maalala 'yong huli kong matinong kain."

They dug in, exchanging words every now and then but straying off at the sensitive topic. They talked about their parents instead, who used to be friends too, and Ivy's journalist life. They were done eating in no time.

And came the moment of truth...

"So... this girl — " Ivy started " — what's her name?"

"Yuna." Kahit ang pagbanggit sa pangalan nito ay parang nagdudulot ng pait kay Aya.

"Yuna, huh? Nabanggit mo kagabi na hindi naman kayo. So, ano ba talaga ang namamagitan sa inyo?" tanong muli ni Ivy.

Napaisip din si Aya kung ano nga bang talaga sila. She heaved a sigh before answering. "We go out like what most couple do, kiss and make-out, but... there's no label. She wasn't out to her family, and she's still confused about her sexuality."