This Life

ＣＨＡＰＴＥＲ ＯＮＥ

I put my cigarette out on the damp concrete next to me and exhaled out the last bit of smoke through my nose. I never got quite use to the slow burn it always gave my nostrils. I don't even know why I started to smoke in the first place. It was probably going to kill me but at this point it didn't really matter.

I rummaged in my bag looking for a stick of gum to cover up the smell. I pulled out a piece and popped it in my mouth and pulled out my pack of cigarettes, damn it was my last one. It was a nasty habit I needed to quit, maybe it would be my last one after all. Doubtful....I had to give up a lot of things and I wasn't quite ready to give this up just yet.

I swung my legs back and forth against the sidewall of the skate ramp. My tennis shoes were still pretty prestine but I needed to remember that I had to be nice to the clothes I had left. I could no longer go shopping every weekend. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin.

The smell of dampness from the humidity in the summer night air filled my nose. My hair was getting fuzzier by the minute. Summer was always my favorite season. Sounds of crickets and cicadas surrounded me. The trees moved and swayed in the night breeze like they we're talking to each other. I picked at the weeds coming up in the crack next to my thigh.

10 years ago I spent almost every night at this skate park, I was even a somewhat decent skater. Jesus now look at me. Alone thinking the trees were trying to tell me something.

They had really let this place go. Weeds filled the cracks in the sidewall and broken snippets of concrete and trash littered the inner dome of the park. I swore I even saw a rat scurry out of a crack. The thought gave me a shiver.

I scooted back away from the skate ramp as my butt had went numb from sitting too long. I pulled my phone from my bag and checked the time. It was a little past 10:00 pm. I should head back I had the early shift the next day at the restaurant. I threw my phone in my bag and hoisted it over my shoulder. I half stood up and froze quickly after hearing footsteps.

Across the park a lone figure came out of the shadows. Dark hoodie, jeans, ear buds. I stood still maybe if I didn't move he'd walk right by and not notice me. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone tonight. I didn't think anybody even visited this park anymore by the looks of it.

The guy continued to walk across the park nodding to a song with a skateboard strapped to his backpack. I watched him still at a statue, I even held my breath. His shoes were worn, a few small holes ripped in his jeans. He didn't look like a bum but his clothes had seen better days. I shifted my weight and hit a loose stone with my left hand and it bounced making a sound. He looked up and his eyes landed on mine. Fuck. Fuck me.

He pulled an earbud out and pulled his hood off his head.

"Sorry I thought I was alone" his voice wasn't very deep. He was younger than he looked.

"Doesn't look that way kid" I snipped.

He slipped his backpack off his shoulder and slipped his phone into a pocket and took out his other earbud. Oh great he wanted to talk, just what I needed. Fucking wonderful. All I wanted to do was wallow in my own self pity tonight not make friends.

He took a few steps forward and was a couple feet away I glared at him and he stopped and swallowed.

"You from around here? I've never seen you before" he stated.

"Yes"

Maybe if I didn't indulge him he would be on his way. I had a can of pepper spray in my bag if he decided to get brave.

He dropped his backpack and board on the ground and took a seat on the side of the ramp. Fuck me, I rolled my eyes at him. He didn't notice.

"Nobody skates here anymore, if you couldn't tell"

I just nodded and studied the weeds below my feet. He was a talker I could tell or nobody ever listened to him. It was hard to tell.

"Do you skate?" he looked over at me.

"Not particularly" I said sarcastically .

I looked over at him and caught his eye and he looked away. His cheeks brushed red but a small smile played on his lips. He had a few loose blonde hairs sticking up in the air, he needed a haircut. His jaw bone was littered with a few acne scars but he wasn't horrible to look at.

He grabbed his bag and pulled his board out

"I skate here and there. This use to be a nice park I remember when I was little my mom would walk the path and she would drag me along. I would always stop and watch the skateboarders. I thought it was so cool. I'm not really any good I guess'' he trailed off.

He pulled at a few pieces of grass next to him. He was nervous and kinda twitchy. Clearly he didn't know how to read people or it was too dark for my resting bitch face to be seen.

God I needed another cigarette or a shot of tequila.

"Do you smoke?"

He pulled on his hoodie string.

"No, why would anybody even smoke anymore"

It was worth a shot....

"Nevermind" I muttered.

"You go to college here? I've never seen you on campus."

I dodged his questioned and sighed "how old are you?"

"20. You?" He responded instantly. Shit he was just a kid. Holy hell.

"Old enough"

I stood up and brushed the dirt off the back of my pants. I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder.

"I gotta go. See ya around kid"

He stood up quickly and grabbed his board "Wait what's your name?"

I had turned my back to him and was headed back to my car but paused "I can't say."

I wasn't about to give some weird kid my name that I hardly knew. I was trying to stay off the radar anyhow. I was already an embarrassment enough.

He jogged up behind me almost following me. Jesus this kid wasn't going to get the hint. I wasn't interested.

"Hey wait up! Will I see you again?"

"Maybe"

"I'm Alex by the way"

I stopped and turned to face him.

"Well Alex, I'll be on my way. Have a nice night"

He was about to say something but I turned around and kept walking to my car. Stupid kid.

I pulled my keys out of my bag and unlocked my car. I heard steps behind me and whipped around.

"Piss off kid, I'm not in the mood tonight."

His face instantly dropped. Fuck why do I have to be such a bitch.

"Here you forgot this" he handed me my lighter I must of left at the skate park.

"Thanks" I cringed.

"See ya around" he said softly and pulled his backpack up on his shoulder. I grabbed the car door and threw my purse on the passenger seat.

I paused for a minute and blurted out

"Nina. My name's Nina."

A small smile came across his lips. I meet his eyes and gave him a half smile in return. He pulled his hood back up over his head and nodded at me. I closed the door and put my key in the ignition and drove back to my apartment.