WoF OC Reviews

Savannah

Her personality when she's not trying to socialize? Up to you. If you go this route, though, I STRONGLY recommend adding contrast, like making her courageous and brash and maybe a bit of heat-of-the-moment stupidity (which would better fit her rank as a soldier). Or, if you feel it doesn't go with her character that much, give her a strong sense of justice, strong morals, protectiveness, etc. (which would also better fit her rank as a soldier.) There are more theme-of-trait ideas that give a good — but not contradictory — contrast to what you already have.

Of course, with more themes of traits, you'll need to be more detailed with your descriptions and words, and if you need help with that, or anything else, PM me.

Backstory: Her parents met when Grapefruit the Leafwing (Moved to Pyrrhia because of famine in Pantala)

Interesting concept. I like it.

was buying something from Roadrunner the Sandwing (Said to have the best retail shop in the whole Sand Kingdom.) At first they were neutral to each other at first but as Grapefruit bought more things from Roadrunner they became friends. More time passes and they became more then that. Grapefruit and Roadrunner had a clutch of 3 eggs. The first one hatched and Grapefruit named her Savannah. The second one hatched into a dragonet that looks like a normal Sandwing without a barb and have weird horns just like Savannah. Roadrunner names her Sahara. The third egg didn't hatch so Grapefruit and Roadrunner waited until it started to smell real bad. They buried the egg in layers of sand, assuming it was dead and put a gravestone on top of its burial place. As Savannah and Sahara were growing up, they were told about the dangers of talking to strangers and how they can be actually evil dragons that kidnapped little dragonets, which is why Savannah doesn't like to talk to strangers. She also met a Sandwing named Fennec. Savannah at first stayed distant away from the dragonet until when Savannah was being bullied and pushed around for being a hybrid and having a weird appearance, Fennec defended Savannah and stood up for her. Fennec and Savannah later became best friends. (They are still friends after a long, long time.) When Savannah and Sahara became an adult, they moved to a town that has been recently built called the Onyx, named after the Eye of Onyx and the dragon from Jade Mountain named Onyx. Savannah and Sahara became soldiers. (Fennec is also a soldier.) One day, while in a battle against the Icewings because both tribes wants to have the newly discovered hot spring, Savannah was being slaughtered by 2 Icewing soldiers (Sorry if I didn't add the scars in the description) until Fennec came in and saved Savannah.

I really like the backstory! Like, a lot, it's really, really good. It adds the childhood, it has major events, it explains things, the whole shebang (you really should add the scars in the appearance description, though. It adds character, makes her unique, and it makes sense.)

Two things that it's kind of missing, though —

1. An ending, a closure (it could even be a sentence saying "Savannah has those scars to this day.")

2. A huge, major event.

And, guess what? Those two things can easily tie together — what if Savannah becomes so crippled and scarred that she can't be a soldier anymore, becoming something like a healer or, like, a counselor or a tutor or something? It'd add good character development, and it'd make for a better story and ending.

Residence: Savannah lives in a house made out of wood and clay in the city of Onyx. The house has a flat rooftop which is where she keeps the pots and her house also has 4 rooms. Her house is beside a well and she owns and tends a cactus garden in backyard.

Great city name, by the way. Really unique, and it's better than just saying "Scorpion Den." Thank you SO MUCH for these details, though. I love it.