Come on skinny love
Just last the year
It had come to a point in your relationship with Anti that...you didn't feel like the love was there anymore.
Considering that nowadays, all he did was take his anger out on you.
No, he never physically attacked you, but he always vented to you about how the whole world seemed to be turning against him. And while you were there to comfort him and reassure him that was not the case, it wasn't often that he'd twist your words around and accuse you of not taking his side anytime you tried to point out a flaw in his argument.
It made you wonder why you even bothered trying anymore.
Yet here you were two months later, still together but unhappy.
Or, at least that's how you felt. But Anti, on the other hand, seemed to be desperate in trying to salvage your relationship..even when he, too, knew that it was destined to fail. He tried everything to win your love back: cuddles, movies, flowers, gifts...but what he didn't see was the emotional strain he had put on you.
And the fact that he always liked to blame others, rather than himself.
Up to now, he was merely hanging onto the thread that tied you and him together, gripping onto it tightly like he did his the handle of his beloved knife, while you wanted to just cut it loose and be done already.
But knowing Anti, you knew he was a stubborn person, inside and out.
Pour a little salt
We were never here
"So, you're just gonna throw me aside, like they all did, huh? Is that it?!" Anti snarled, pinning you to the wall with his knife at your throat. His body was glitching sporadically as he tried to maintain his growing rage. "I've given you.. everythin' and this is the thanks I get?!!"
You tensed up at his words, but shot him a cold, hard glare, despite the danger presented in front of you.
This wasn't something out of the norm. The arguments you two had became more heated and more frequent as time went on, though it was usually either Jack or one of the other egos that would break it up.
But when it was you and Anti home alone, he would get up in your face and hold you down at knife-point. Fortunately for you, he still had at least some decency and resisted the urge to stab you, though that was mostly because you'd allow him to win the argument.
Now it just pissed you off that he always had the upper hand. And quite frankly..you could care less if he decided to kill you right here and now.
"Anti, we've already been through this," you replied back, calmly yet coldly. "You know the exact reason why this isn't going to work out between us. But somehow you still can't see that...why?"
For a brief moment, Anti was silent, before a small, yet wicked, grin crept its way across his face. "Because..I know somewhere in there.." A mischievous light flickered between his bright, blue eyes as he pointed the tip of his knife to your chest. "..a part of ya still wants me, [y/n]. But me? All of me still craves you, my love.." He purred. "I know I haven't been the best...partner, but there's no need for us to have these silly little "fights". Besides...what good has any of this done for us?"
You weren't entirely sure what it was, but the way he just smirked and spoke as though he didn't have a care in the world how much his actions have affected you over the past few months....it made something inside you snap.
"It made me realize that you never take anything seriously!!" You shouted, shoving him away with a burst of defiance flowing through you. "Look, I know you're fairly new to this whole relationship business..and I've been trying my best to help you understand it...but all you've done was use me as a dumping ground for problems you're just gonna tell the whole world about anyway!!! And then you expect me to coddle you afterwards?!! Fuck if I knew that was what I signed up for, then I would've never fallen in love with you to begin with!!"
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer
Anti stumbled back, staring at you with a wide-eyed and open-mouthed expression of shock. It was obvious that your words struck a cord in him.
And you stared back at him, although your hardened gaze went away in an instant as you saw his eyes turn black and hollow. Yet they also seemed to be glistening a bit..
Without warning, he glitched back over to you, grabbing you by the throat and raising his knife up. You immediately took back everything you said, trembling with fear as you quickly shut your eyes and braced for whatever he was about to do next.
Only to hear a loud 'thump' noise.
Opening your eyes slowly, you glanced over, surprised to see he impaled the knife directly beside your head. You were confused, but at the same time relieved that he didn't do what you thought he was going to do.
"Fuck....why are ya makin' this harder than it has to be?!! W͠H̀Y͘ C̢AN̶'͘T͝ YE ̵JU̵S͡T L͝O͘V͏E͞ ME̵ AG̶ĄÍN̷ ͜DAMN I̶T?!!" Anti howled, although he let go of you and instead trapped you between his arms, huffing and puffing as he stared down at you.
If looks could kill, you'd probably be six feet under in Hell right now.
After some time, his gaze softened and his breath became shaky as he went to touch your cheek. "Wh-Why..I..I don't understand..." He whispered, his eyebrows furrowing from both frustration and confusion.
But you only sighed and grasped his hand, taking it off your face. "You know exactly why, Anti."
He flinched back at your words, before he gritted his teeth and grabbed his knife, yanking it out of the wall as he glitched away with it. The lights in the room flickered for a brief moment before returning to normal.
I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
It's been several hours since the argument, and you couldn't find Anti anywhere. Your first assumption was that he retreated back into Jack's mind, though when you asked him, apparently that was not the case.
You did, however, see a few glitches here and there whenever you walked into his room or the bathroom, so now you figured he was actively trying to avoid you.
But as you were heading to bed for the night, you managed to catch your demonic boyfriend hiding in the bathroom...only to discover a rather horrific sight:
He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, his head buried into his hands, and blood was running down his non-tattooed arm, dripping onto the tiled floor.
"A-Anti?"
Gasping, Anti quickly sat up, shocked to see you standing there in the doorway. But he had no time to flee as you quickly walked over and grabbed his wrist. He hissed in pain, trying to yank his arm back, however he stopped struggling as soon as you saw what he had carved into his skin:
Your initials.
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall
"J-Jesus Christ.." You mumbled, eyes wide as you stared down at the wound he inflicted on himself. "I-I'll..I'll go get Schneep-"
When you tried to get up, however, Anti gripped your wrist tightly. "N-No..it's fine..please..d..don't..." He spoke rather quickly and panicky, sounding rather terrified. "I-It took me a long time to get it right."
You did a double-take, feeling a bit of your heart break as you saw his heartbroken expression. His blue eyes were red and puffy, as though he had been crying for hours.
"Anti wha...why the hell would you do this to yourself? I know you're crazy but...this...this is not okay!!" You growled at him, before sitting down and grabbing a damp cloth off of the counter.
But as you attempted to clean off the wound, Anti suddenly shoved your hand away. "Don't ya get it, lass?! I..I still love you!!" He spat, though you could see tears welling up in his eyes. "I did this shit knowin' it would hurt..but...but I'm..I'm just tryna prove that I-"
"Anti..when will you finally realize you're only hurting yourself?"
And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
The demon blinked slowly. "But..I-"
"Look," you sighed gently, gazing at him. "Just because my love for you isn't there anymore doesn't mean I want to cut you out of my life. Even after all of this..you're still my friend Anti, and nothing will change that." Now your own eyes began to well up, but you blinked back the tears. "So, please..stop causing yourself more necessary misery, alright?"
For several moments, Anti was silent as he thought over your words. Then he bit down on his lower lip, nodding slowly. "A-Alright...I'll stop...I'm sorry, [y/n]." He whispered the last three words rather quietly.
"You're forgiven, Anti. Now let me see your arm before those cuts get infected."
Nodding once more, he did just that, sitting still and watching you gently clean off the red letters he had etched into his skin.
And in the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different kind
After that incident, Anti finally agreed to breaking up with you, becoming nothing more than friends now.
The next few months became a slow, yet steady, healing process for both of you. Jack and the others, obviously, gave you their condolences, which you were more than happy to accept, knowing that they cared for you like the family they were.
Eventually, you were back to having casual chats with the glitchy demon about rather....morbid and depressive subjects that he somehow found to be hysterical.
You had a feeling he was still a bit cynical and hurt by what happened, although he assured you that it was just a simple coping mechanism and that he didn't hate you at all. He admitted that he felt foolish for trying to chase something that was no longer there.
At first you were stunned at his sudden change of heart, but you simply smiled, glad to see that he was finally owning up to his mistakes.
And yet, at the same time, you couldn't help but think he still harbored some form of bitterness towards you.
For instance, when Anti made his next big appearance on Jack's channel, he spoke to the viewers with a little more spite and a little more malice than usual. And while the fans are assuming he's envious of the attention Robbie and Angus were receiving.....you knew the real reason why.
He was still suffering from heartbreak, and, more importantly....
Skinny love.
'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines
