𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦. ☾rosé oneshots [completed]

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"chaeng, he's here..." jisoo murmured, hand over the mic in case it was on.

"i know," i mumbled back. "don't remind me."

i took a deep breath and opened my eyes, ready for the stage lights to shine on us. we looked at the crowd as the stage lifted us up, the music starting a few seconds after we got used to the crowd. whistle played and we automatically started dancing to the music, dancing elegantly.

"you're so beautiful
i can't forget you
your eyes still make my heart flutter, boom boom." i sang and somehow made eye contact with seunghoon. i was lucky that my part for the time being was over and quickly switched places. lisa sang and i danced, my eyes avoiding his.

does he really care anymore? does he really give a shit about me? after our breakup i'm not sure anymore. sure, exes aren't meant to be friends, but he... he was my first love, my first real relationship. he made me feel special, but he also threw me away. at this point, i honestly don't know who to trust in this world.
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seeing chaeyoung on stage, performing, ignited something in me. i know she's in a relationship with joshua of seventeen, hell, every idol knows. even the newly debuted rookies.

i'm not allowed to say i'm jealous. i let her go, and she deserves to be happy. but if i have the chance to get her back, you bet i would.

i feel dumb. this wasn't this first time i've seen her perform after we broke up, so why do i feel like this? what's changed?

her voice was as lovely as ever, her eyes glittering in the lights. her dance moves were precise; but when were they not?

this wasn't the same chaeyoung i knew. this is rosé, the main vocalist of blackpink. the chaeyoung i left was broken and felt hopeless. it's only right if i call her rosé now.

we had eye contact for a few milliseconds but that was more than enough time to send my heart beating a hundred miles an hour. i glanced from the corner of my eyes, seeing joshua staring at her proudly. i wish i could do the same.

god chaeyoung, i fucking love you.
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we performed whistle and playing with fire and i kept making eye contact with seunghoon unintentionally. it was so infuriating, i'll tell you that.

i hate how i still love his attention on me. i hate how my heart still beats just a little faster for him. i'm sorry joshua, but i don't know if i can do this relationship anymore. i can't be with someone i don't love and i don't want him to waste his time on me. he deserves to be happy, to be with someone who really loves him with all their heart.

i, unfortunately, have not been able to do that. not with the gaping hole that lee seunghoon left in my heart.

once we finished, we rushed out to let the next group perform in time. we were guided to our seats, and to our luck, we're seated next to winner. fun.

seunghoon was seated at the very end, and the girls already took the other three seats so i had no choice but to sit next to him. it is not the most... pleasurable experience to sit next to your ex-boyfriend.

i can't wait for all of this to be —————————————————————

"joshua, hey... can we talk?" i whispered backstage after the last performances ended. he nodded and i brought him into a secluded space.