Through My Window

Original Edition: 18. The Kiss

He stops kissing me to look into my eyes, "Are you sure?"

I lick my lips nervously, "Yes."

Ares kisses me and I close my eyes, losing myself on his soft lips. But then I feel him. I moan in pain and tears fill my eyes, "Ares, it hurts."

He leaves short kisses all over my face, "Do you want me to stop?" he stops and I shake my head.

"No, don't stop."

"It's okay, the pain will go away soon." he keeps going and I arch my back, I feel as if something inside of me is breaking, it's not crazy pain, more like slightly burning pain. "Kiss me." He whispers on my lips. He's inside me but he doesn't move. His kisses are wet, passionate as his hands play with my breasts gently distracting me, returning the excitement to my aching body.

He doesn't hurry to move. He only focuses on arousing me even more, trying, kissing, biting my lips, my neck, my breasts. The pain is still there but it is so much less. I need more, I need something and I need him to move, I'm ready for him to move, "Ares..."

As if he knows what I want, he starts to move slowly, the friction burns a bit but I'm so wet it starts to feel amazing. Oh God, the feeling surpasses me, nothing has felt so good in my whole life.

Suddenly I want him to go faster, deeper. I put my hands around his neck and kiss him with everything I have, moaning and feeling him perfectly hard inside of me, "Ares! Oh God, Ares, faster!

Ares smiles against my lips, "You want it faster, huh?" he obeys, moving faster.

"Oh my God!"

"I told you, you would be mine, Rachel," he murmurs in my ear as I cling to his back, "Do you like feeling me like this?"

"Yes!" I can feel the orgasm coming. I'm moaning so loudly Ares kisses me to silence my moans, my body explodes, wave after wave of pleasure invading every part of me. Ares groans with me and his movements become clumsy and even faster. He finishes and stays on top of me.

Our heavy breaths echo throughout the room. Our heartbeats are pounding against each other through our bare chests. As the last traces of orgasm leave me, clarity returns to my mind.

Oh, my God!

I just had sex with Ares, I just lost my virginity.

Ares uses his hands to get up and gives me a short kiss, coming out of me, it burns a little but it's nothing unbearable. I see traces of blood on the condom and I look away, sitting up. He takes the condom and throws it in the trash and then puts on his pants and hands me my clothes.

He sits on the arm of the sofa and stares at me without saying anything. He doesn't start a conversation. He doesn't tell me nice things. He doesn't hug me or something. It's like he's waiting for me to be gone.

The silence is too uncomfortable so I get dressed as fast as I can. When I'm done, I get up and wince, "Are you okay?"

I nod. Ares' eyes fall on the couch behind me and I follow his gaze. There is a small blood stain on the sofa and it shows quite a bit. Ares seems to notice my embarrassment, "Don't worry, I'll have it washed."

With my hands entwined in front of me, I say, "I ... should go."

He says nothing and that hurts. There is no 'No, don't go' or 'Why are you leaving?'

I walk to the door, with my heart in my throat. I feel like crying but I don't let the tears form in my eyes.

I grab the doorknob and he speaks, "Wait!"

Hope lights up in me but it turns to dust when I see him walk towards me with the Iphone box in his hand, "Please, accept it, it's a gift."

And that slight gesture makes me feel even worse, it feels like he's paying me for what just happened. Rebellious tears fill my eyes and I can't find the strength to answer.

I open the door and I run out, "Rachel! Come on! Rachel!" I hear him yell behind me. Without noticing I'm already running to the main door.

Already in the street, tears flow freely down my cheeks. I know I'm responsible for what just happened but that doesn't make me feel any less bad. I just lost something very important to me and he didn't care at all.

What did I expect? I'm such a fool.

I always thought my first time would be a magical and special moment, that the person I chose would value it and appreciate it, that he at least would have feelings for me. The sex was wonderful and made what I feel for him grow at uncontrollable levels, but this didn't mean anything to him, it was just sex.

And he warned me, he told me clearly what he wanted and yet I was a fool and gave him something precious to me. My lungs burn as I cry rushing to my house. When I get to my room, I fall on my bed to cry uncontrollably.

Today I lost something very important for me, something that I can never recover but that isn't what hurts me the most. What hurts me the most is that I have strong feelings for him and I found out in the worst way that the feeling isn't mutual.

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Author's note: Painful ending, eh? Even though Ares wasn't exactly the best in this chapter. I also think Rachel has some responsibility as well. He never lied his way into her pants, he was honest from the beginning, he said what he wanted openly and she still gave in. But do not panic my friends! There's so much coming :D

Love!

Ariana.