Through My Window

Original Edition: 29. The Story

There's one chapter updated before this one, in case Wattpad brings you to this one first.

CHAPTER 29

My first instinct is to run away.

I don't know why, after thinking about him all night, looking for him with my eyes throughout the party, now that I have him a few steps from me, I want to run away.

Who understands me?

Ares hasn't even bothered to turn around to look at me fully and still manages to speed up my breathing and my heart. His very presence is imposing and the tension on the balcony is too much for me. Like a coward, I turn towards the door again but before I can reach its knob, he moves in quick steps and gets in my way, blocking it.

I always forget how tall he is, how beautiful and perfect every feature of his face is, and the intensity of his eyes. I look down, backing away but Ares moves with me, forcing me back until my back collides with the balcony railing.

"Running away?" His voice is cold and it makes me shiver.

"No." I shake my head, and I get a little dizzy.

I keep my eyes on his chest, not even the courage that alcohol gives me is enough to face him. The scent of his cologne hits my nose and I fight not to close my eyes and inhale exaggeratedly. I missed his smell, his presence and the ability he has to make me feel everything without even touching me.

"Look at me," he orders, but I refuse to, "Look at me, Rachel."

Reluctantly, I obey, the infinite ocean of his eyes is splendid in the moonlight. Unintentionally, my gaze drops to his lips that look wet.

I clear my throat, "I... should go," I try to step aside to pass him, but he puts both arms against the railing locking me in.

"What are you doing up here?" He presses me, "Did you come looking for me?"

I huff, "Of course not, the world doesn't revolve around you."

He gives me that stupid smirk that suits him so well, "Not the world. But you do."

His arrogant statement annoys me, and I push him, but he doesn't move.

"Get off!"

"Why? Do I make you nervous?"

I roll my eyes, feigning disinterest, "Of course not."

"So why are you shaking?" I don't know what to say, so I just look away, "You're shaking and I haven't even touched you, and don't worry, I won't either."

Why?

I almost ask it out loud but I don't say it. He's out of my life, I have to keep my word this time.

Silence reigns between us and I dare to look up, his expression impassive as always, how can he not feel anything? How do you have me this close, and not show a single emotion? As I shudder, struggling to keep my feelings in check, he looks so normal, so calm.

So why doesn't he let me go if he doesn't care about me?

Why is he blocking my way?

And then a tide of emotions overwhelms me. Ares has hurt me a lot. However, he doesn't seem to want to get out of my life either. Maybe he sees me like an easy girl or I'm a game to him. But I'm already tired of hanging on, of expecting from him what he will never give me. He's not interested in being with me, he hasn't fought any of the times I told him I'd cut him out of my life. And the truth is, I take part of the blame, he was honest with me from the beginning, he told me what he wanted and I gave it to him, willingly.