Untamed

Chapter 49

Jace was silent for a long time, but I didn't dare break the thick uncomfortable silence between us.

"Look there's something I need to tell you. I've been meaning to tell you this for a while."

"Yes?" I asked.

"Remember what I told you the last time I saw you?" Jace asked.

"Yeah, you told me to remember that you loved me. What's this all about?" I asked, worry edging into my voice.

Jace just looked at me. He reached up and cupped my cheek softly. I leaned into the touch. Tingles warmed my skin, and spread throughout my body. I let his touch push all worries out of my mind. Then he retracted his hand.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen," Jace apologized. Regret lacing every word.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, feeling bare from the retracted heat.

Did he not mean it when he said he loved me? Did he want to break up? Panic started to bubble up in my stomach.

"Jace you're scaring me. What's going on?" I asked

"Well... I didn't..." He seemed to be struggling with how to start.

"Just start at the beginning," I offered.

He nodded his head, and took a moment to think. On the outside I sat patiently, but on the inside my mind was screaming the worst things he could possibly say to me.

"I wasn't going to tell you a thing, but I realized I owed it to you. Just remember I love you. No matter what I'm about to tell you, I love you so much, that most of the time it scares me."

I nodded my head, indicating I understood.

"And I know you will want to yell or run off, but could you please just wait until I get to the end?" Jace asked.

"I can try, but I can't promise."

"Please! I really want you to promise you won't run off until I finish, and you'll just let me explain."

"Fine. I promise," I said, with my heart thudding furiously in my chest. I wiped my sweaty palms on my shorts. I was nervous as hell.

Jace seemed satisfied.

"Remember whatever I did in the past is not who I am now."

I didn't even nod. I just waited with my knees drawn up to my chest, like it would protect me from whatever Jace was going to tell me. I had the instinct to flee, knowing whatever was coming was going to be horrible. But I kept myself there, because of the pleading I saw in Jace's eyes.

"My dad told me I had to find my mate before I could become an alpha. I wouldn't get the power I needed to be an alpha until I mated with my mate. So until then I could never become an alpha-"

"I don't want to hear anymore!" I said with urgency in my voice, cutting him off mid-sentence. I could tell where this was going, and I didn't want to hear the words leave the lips of the person who was supposed to love me unconditionally.

"Please, you have to let me explain."

My eyes fill with tears.

"Please don't," I begged.

Jace reached out to comfort me with a cringing pained look in his eyes, but I inched out of his grasp. Jace sighed, and let his hand fall down into his lap.

"The damage has already been done, so just please let me finish explaining."

I didn't answer, so Jace took that as a sign to continue.