Love is Love (Sashay/Emison)

Chapter 85

Sasha's POV

I wake to the sounds of beeping and I instantly remember that I am in the hospital... However this time when I wake up, I really wake up. I am able to open my eyes and move my body. I feel Shay's hand in mine and I look down to see her fast asleep. I can't believe she slept here next to my bed all night. I realize that I am so lucky to have her in my life... I stay still and just watch her for probably ten minutes before the nurse comes in and Shay jumps at the sound of the door. She looks up and into my eyes and I can't help but smile. She says "Baby, you're awake? I really thought I was going to lose you... please don't ever do that to me again." She jumps up and quickly kisses me as the nurse stops in her tracks and just watches. The nurse clears her throat and says "I will go get the doctor." She hurries out the door and Shay looks at me and says "Sasha baby, I really need you to explain what happened... I know you just woke up and all but baby, I need to know why you thought it was ok to take drugs." I knew this was coming after hearing Shay talking to my parents while I was "awake but not awake" but why do they keep saying I was taking drugs, I would never take drugs... I took diet pills. Yes they're probably not much better for me, but they are not drugs...

I took a deep breath and I started to explain myself... "Shay baby, I am so sorry..." I get cut off because the doctor comes in and says "Well look who finally got herself enough sleep. How are you feeling? Do you have any dizziness or fatigue?" I smile and say "No sir, I feel so much better... I am kinda hungry though." The doctor walks closer to the bed and looks at Shay, he says "Miss, I am going to have to ask you to step out for a few minutes so I can examine my patient" I start to say it's ok and that she could stay, but she stands up and says "Of course, I need to go call her parents as well as Mar and the girls... I'll be back soon sweetheart." She leans in and gives me a little kiss before heading out the door. As soon as she is gone, the doctor says "I'm glad you are feeling better, and we will send down for some breakfast for you in a few minutes... but first, I need to say that taking medications like Adderall is dangerous, especially when it's not prescribed for you. I'm not going to ask you where you got it, that is not my concern... but I am going to tell you that you were very lucky this time. You see, this medication if not monitored properly can cause serious health issues. Your parents and all of your friends were very worried for you... that fiance of yours never left your side all night."

I half smile and say "I know they were, and I am so sorry to have scared them, but I would never take drugs... even to lose weight... I was taking diet pills. And I know taking diet pills probably isn't the best way to lose weight, but it was working. Sir, I have tried everything... I have basically starved myself and worked out until I could barely move, and nothing has worked... so when a guy at work said he had something that would help me lose the weight, I figured I owed it to myself to give it a shot. I told myself lots of people take diet pills, so why shouldn't I give it a try... And it was working great, I was full of energy, and I have little to no appetite. I lost 6lbs in two days. I was so excited, that maybe I might have taken another pill before I should have..." He looks at me and says "Miss Pieterse, you were not taking diet pills... you were taking a very high dose of Adderall. If you were told they were diet pills, then they lied to you... and yes you can lose a lot of weight by taking them, but that is not what they are meant for... and to use them for weight loss is just dangerous... especially in the dosage you were taking."

I couldn't believe what he was telling me... How could I have been so stupid to not figure out I was taking drugs, and not diet pills. Everyone is going to hate me, I hate myself for being so stupid. The doctor said he wanted to run a few tests on me, and that I would more than likely be released tomorrow afternoon... but that I was being scheduled to speak with a drug counselor, and a nutritionist before I could be released. I thanked him, and he said "Don't worry Miss Pieterse, I have and idea about what is causing your weight gain, and if I am right, we will help you to get it under control the right way." Shortly after he left the room, Shay walks back in holding some flowers, and balloons that said "I love you and Get well soon." I couldn't hold the tears from falling down my cheeks, she walks over and sets down the flowers and balloons before climbing in beside me in bed and holding me. I look at her with tears rolling down both our faces and say "I don't deserve you... I am so sorry this happened and I swear, if I thought I was taking drugs, I would have never done it. I thought they were diet pills, the guy said they would help me to lose the weight fast, and that a lot of people on the lot were taking them... and I knew you would be mad for taking diet pills, but nothing I was trying was working... so I just didn't say anything about trying them. I am so stupid."