[ GIRLXGIRL ]
Cameron Cunningham moves in with her father for her last year of high school after not knowing he existed her entire life. She predicts that the year will be boring and lifeless until she almost gets run over by Brigette Flowers.
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THIS WAS THE first time Cameron and Bridgette did more than holding hands, pecking each other's lips, and the occasional light kisses under the ear.
No, it wasn't sex; just an intense make-out.
It may not seem like a big deal but whenever Cameron thought about being more intimate with Bridgette, she always remembered her mother's story. She was worried she would end up like her mother; a sex addict who ended up alone. She didn't want that so she always put sex so far in the back of her mind that it took a while to remember again.
Bridgette's oxygen tubes were still connected to her oxygen tank which made it extremely difficult to do anything. Cameron's gingerly actions expressed her anxious thoughts about the tubes. She didn't want to accidentally pull them out.
"Wait," Bridgette muttered after tearing their lips apart. They were sitting on Cameron's bed where they should have been studying for their American Sign Language Midterm but glances and light touches led to this.
"You okay?" Cameron asked, a worried tone settling in her voice. Her hands lightly cupped Bridgette's waist as if it were the most delicate pieces of glass.
Nodding, Bridgette unhooked the oxygen tube from behind her ears and slowly pulled it from her nostrils. With a smile, she gently placed the tube on top of the hook of her oxygen tank. "Okay, I'm good."
"Wait, is this okay? I don't want-"
Bridgette connected their lips once again, roughly pushing the dark girl's back on the bed. Crawling over Cameron's waist, she pecked her girlfriend's lips before sliding her yellow blouse which revealed a regular white bra.
Cursing under her breath, Cameron gripped the pale girl's hips as they began kissing. The tips of her fingers ran up and down the back of Bridgette's body like she was tracing the lines of a painting.
In the back of her mind, the dark girl couldn't help but worry about the oxygen tubes being removed. What if something happened and she didn't know what to do? She didn't know enough about CF to figure out every scary situation that was happening.
Slowly, she sat up with Bridgette still in her lap. Both hands grasped the bare upper body that trembled underneath her fingertips. However, she sensed the trembling was a good thing. Arms wrapped around the back of her neck and now their chests were pressed together.
Using her thigh, she carefully flipped Bridgette onto the bed so that she was now on top. Her palms against the bed sheets, she felt a tug at the hem of her shirt. Acknowledging the wish, she ripped their lips apart and rolled her tee shirt from her body. The cold air slapped her bare skin but the lust kept her boiling.
A few moments later, Bridgette tried to remove her bra but she was stopped by Cameron's hand. Confused and a little embarrassed, her red face asked if something was wrong.
"My mom told me about a certain addiction gene that's been passed down and I'm worried that I'll get it," the girl explained quietly but Bridgette didn't understand, "my grandma was a sex addict, my mom is a sex addict, and I may be one too.
"If we have sex, I'm scared I'll do fucked up things to do it again. My mom kept me from my dad because of her addiction and how humiliated she was. I don't want that."
"Just because people in your family have the same gene doesn't mean you'll have it too. Plus, you'll never know if you don't...explore. I know you, Cam, you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I know that for a fact."
Without a word, Cameron nodded and kissed her girlfriend passionately. Hands pressed to each side of her head, keeping the curls from falling in her face. Heat rose to the tips of her ears and something warm bubbled in the bottom of her stomach. She never felt like this and she liked it.
She left a trail of kisses down Bridgette's down and to her pale chest. Once her lips were above Bridgette's bellybutton, her eyes flicked up, "are you sure?"
Before they knew it, the girls were laying underneath bed sheets that lightly laid on their bare skin. A cold breeze ran through Cameron's bedroom, the chilly air soothed their hot faces. Bridgette had put her oxygen tubes back in their place; she definitely needed the breathing assistance now. Turning her head to the side, she stared at Cameron lovingly.
"Are you scared of dying?" the dark girl asked, removing her eyes from the ceiling. This was a question that had been on her mind since her conversation with Jasper. Although she was aware of what could happen, she couldn't help but think about it. She didn't like talking about her girlfriend's illness with people who weren't her girlfriend. "Shit, was that insensitive?"
Unfazed by the question, Bridgette shrugged, "kind of but it's okay. And...I don't know. In movies, when there's a character who has CF, they act like dying isn't a big deal and they're ready to go at any time. It doesn't make sense because, illness or not, everyone is scared of dying. I mean, I know how I'm gonna die and I think that helps the fear; it gives me a little control which makes me less afraid. Why are you asking all of a sudden?"
"I've realized how narcissistic I've been lately and I'm trying to not be like that anymore. I'm sorry," Cameron answered honestly, "I know you but I don't know the CF side of you. Being your girlfriend means knowing everything about you."
"I don't talk about my CF because my whole life is surrounded by it. It's all people focus on and I wish, I just wish I would be noticed because of me and not...that."
Turning her body so she was facing Bridgette, Cameron reached for the pale girl's hands. Never had she laid in bed completely naked before and she was extremely uncomfortable with the skin on skin contact with herself. However, she ignored the feeling. "You are more than CF but it makes you who you are. If I asked you if you were scared of dying and you didn't have CF, you would've given me a blunt answer. Like it or not, it's part of you but it's made you into the best person you can be. You're strong, independent, and your sense of humor is...to die for."
"Oh my fucking god. I love you," Bridgette cackled, snatching her hands from Cameron's to cover her face. Aware of what she had just said, her heart stopped at the spill of her own words. Keeping her hands over her face, she prayed the dark girl didn't hear.
Suddenly the room grew quiet, giggles faded into the pecks of dust floating around the room. Wings fluttered in Cameron's chest as her smile grew wider, "I love you too."
The rest of the morning was spent resting in bed, laughing, kissing, and cuddling. Nevertheless, Bridgette had to leave later in the afternoon because she had a doctor's appointment.
Cameron, however, stayed in bed to relive what had happened that morning.
