Arranged What 2- You Want Me to...What?!?!?!?!

Chapter 6- Re-Evaluating

Jason

Standing where Myst left me, I felt like she'd kicked me in the sternum with those heels of hers as she left. Why had I let Rick talk me into being that guy? I wasn't that guy, and I had always told myself I never would be.

But my marriage wasn't real, so shouldn't that-

No. No, either way, I was married and I was willing to hide that to go flirt with another woman. I glanced around on instinct, feeling like a spotlight was on me so everyone could watch the monster I'd become. Of course, no one was, but I still had to get out of here.

I start walking towards the back of the club to the alley where my car is parked. Rick pops out of a corner and stops in front of me, "Hey man, where'd she go so fast? Did you screw it up already?"

"Shut up, man. I can't believe you talked me into that."

He looked shocked. "Dude, what's your problem. You've wanted to do that forever?"

"She saw the tan from my ring, now she knows I'm married and thinks I'm a cheating sleazebag." I shove his shoulder, but he backs up without getting out of my way. I try to dodge to the side, but a large group walks around us and I can't get through.

"Relax, we can get rid of the tan and you can-"

"The tan isn't the problem!" My best friend's eyebrows pinched together and he stared at me like he was trying to figure me out. When had he become this clueless?

The group left and I was able to finally get past him. Having the sweaty mass of people moving around me just twisted my gut tighter. Caught up in their own energy, they had no idea the self-loathing that was building inside me.

Flashes of the time Diedra Monroe from high school was caught giving Andrew Han head in the parking lot after a game flashed in my head. We'd been going out for a couple months. I'd thought she was nice, and she swore she didn't know how it'd gotten that far... now I see just how easy things can slip.

If she hadn't noticed the ring, how far... I told myself it was just a dance, but I couldn't feel sure of my own intentions anymore. If she asked me out, would I have said yes? Would the temptation have been too much in the moment after liking her so long?

Gosh, how would Cody feel if she had seen this? She wasn't exactly a cherished better half, but she wasn't a horrible person and at least part of her would probably feel betrayed if she knew.

I knew I shouldn't have taken the ring off. Why did I let myself get into that situation?

The answer came quickly now that I was free from the stuffy atmosphere. It was easy to pretend I was married because I didn't feel married. A real marriage had commitment and dedication even if there wasn't love. I respected Cody, but at most, she was a roommate I saw a couple times a week that ate my cereal when she wasn't supposed to.

And with her agreeing it was time for me to move out, it was obvious she didn't care to try for this thing anymore either. I wish that bid I'd put down on that place outside of town hadn't fallen through. I could have had a place to go back to that wasn't the same home of all the people I'd like to avoid right now.

But there was something else I could to separate Cody and I that didn't just involve distance.

It was time for a divorce.

~x~

Cody

"I don't know why I feel betrayed. It's silly and ridiculous because I know it's not real, but I still didn't ever want to face the reality that he would be hanging out with other women behind my back."