LOVE BLOSSOMS(COMPLETED)

20. Embarking A New Journey- Part II

These were the exact words that my college dean uttered during my first year, orientation day. Maybe, had these words be told once, I could have shrugged them off. But, when you're subjected to such words on daily basis, as a young mind as mine, is bound to believe such crap. 

If only I had magic powers or even a time machine, I'd better go to my past and rewrite or redo them. But, I'm far more practical than that. I know, a few things are done and you just got to live with them. No other way out there. So, yeah, back to past. I started getting emotionally detached and I took their lectures so to heart that I could not evn concentrate the emotional aspect of the relationship. Slowly, I started to prefer the open-relationships than commited ones and that was like the begining of the end of me. Somewhere, down the lane, I met this perfect man of my dreams, Sid, which was too surreal to believe. Sid was like typical, corny, out of a romance book kind of guy and I really never knew how to deal with him. He considered our relationship more commited based and slowly I was forced to follow the pursuit. But, when he proposed me to marry him, that was when I knew we just weren't made for each other. I just don't deserve him; I don't love him. I had just been toying with him all day long. Today, if I think back, I repent being what I was. I really do!

Somehow, whenever, I look at Raj, I feel he deserves to know about the history that I and Sid share. I know, I must feel ashamed and guilty, when I look straight, sqaure at eye with Sid. But weirdly, I don't. Maybe, it just was supposed to happen that way. Maybe? So,back to Raj. In this short course of time, a beautiful, respectful friendship has bloomed between us. I respect Raj, a lot and I know he trusts me a lot. Okay, otherwise, do you think a guy like him, would lent his darkest secret, which is nothing but his fear for reptiles of any kind, lent it out to a nearly perfect stranger like me? Not only that he shares about his likes, dislikes, fears, his future plans and what not? I think, it'd be much better if he just hears from me, than from others. Morever, there are just too many people here who know my history with Sid. Everytime, I see Raj talking with someone or other, I freak out, that maybe they might just slip any news about our history to him. I just can't handle it anymore. I need to tell him the sooner the better.

Especially, after I witnessed Nivin fainting because he realized that he had been living a lie all along, my intentions to come clean to Raj has increased even more. I respect and care him more to be able to put him in such tough situation.

So, I built my courage all up. I am ready to face him. I took a deep breath before I enetered Raj's fashion studio class. It was a class exclusively designed to give young fashion aspirants a feel of being in a real fashion world. When, I enetered, I found Raj sitting behind a table covered by a large piece of fabric. He was either cutting it into a pattern or was he stitching it? Okay, I'm exagerating it but my understanding of what these designers ( including my sister, Swetha), does, is way beyond my understanding. So, let me just cut it short.

I propped myself in the chair opposite to Raj's. The only thing between us was the fabric and the table. " Hi" I initiated a conversation.

"Hi! So, what brought you here, Seema?" He asked me, as he lifted his face from fabric. His face was curious and it also looked like he was happy to see me. Unconciously, I smirked thinking while he still be happy to see me, after he had learnt what I had come to say? I don't know let's see.

I smiled, instantly and noticed that he never really noticed my smirk which I'm thankful to the Good Lord. I had brought a flask of coffee and two mugs. I waved it in his face and he smiled even more. He pushed his fabric aside, folded it and he let me place the flask and coffee. I poured the coffee and we sipped through my coffee.

" I've something to say..." This just snapped Raj's attention from his coffee to me. He just slowly nodded his head. 

" I shared a history with Sid!" I just told it and I could see the fury in his eye and look in his face told me that I had to explain myself to him.