The pastel inside of you

Prologue - EDITED

Phil and I.

Well there is no longer an and. Phil is... Well was my best friend, but I liked him more than that. I love him with all my heart. Not loved; love. I still do. He's different from anyone I have ever met but... he has changed. He started wearing black, getting his lip pierced and then tattoos. I also changed. I started wearing very light coloured clothing, flower crowns, makeup (rarely) and nail polish, also skirts, but that's on a really hot day which isn't that often due to living in England.

Phil went into the term punk and I went into the term pastel. I am a huge dick. My sarcasm is unreal and you can't stay five minutes without me saying a pun. Phil is all sweet and kind, but how would I still know. It's been three years. Until I saw him in front of me... wanting to talk.

The reason we became so distant was... well, I can't really say it. I told myself I wouldn't tell anyone. Besides that, we haven't talked since that day.

"Hey. We need to talk." Phil said smugly.

"We haven't talked in three years. Did the punks finally get bored of you?" I sarcastically retorted.

I went to leave, but he slammed his hand right next to my shoulder so I couldn't move left. Then to the right or on the lower left. I turned to look away. I haven't seen his eyes that close in a long time so why now? I could feel his warm breath on my skin making the back of my neck hairs stand up. He was so intimidating.

"No, but I need to talk to you. It's urgent." He spoke, his deep voice sending shivers down my spine.

I nodded, not wanting to tread on any of his nerves.

"Meet me after drama." He was whispering by that point, his face dangerously close to mine.

He kissed my cheek and left. I was left dumbfounded in the bleak corridor. The bell rang and I ran to English that I had with Mr Grand.

Then drama. It literally flew by. I wished it didn't and that was the only time. I walked out and tried to go to form, but from and alley between two buildings, someone grabbed my arm and yanked me in it. I looked at the figure and it was Phil.

"You scared me." My heart rate was picking up while the seconds passed slowly.

"It's not the first time." He was leaning against a wall, smoking.

He took a puff of his cigarette.

"Phil why do you want to talk? It been 3 years."

He dropped his cigarette on the floor, squishing it with his foot. He looked at me, a glint of evil in his eye.

"I'm in love with you." I choked on my breath, my eyes spreading wide.

"Nice joke, I have to go now, so stop spening my time please."

"I'm serious Howell."

He said as he took a step forward, my back now tightly pressed against the opposite wall that he was previously leaning against.

"And I know for a fact that you feel the same. Remember that night?" He was whispering by that point, not really wanting our conversation to be heard.

"Yeah. But that was ages ago and we both know we were too young and stupid to be doing that."

I didn't want him to bring up the past.

"Kiss me."

"No! Phil I'm not gay."

"So you lied to me?"

"Yeah. I'm a fucking dick and you don't need to be messing with me." My knees were buckling and I couldn't do anything about it.

"I know you aren't and I can change that."

"You can't. You can try, but you won't succeed." The blue eyes of his were staring into me, looking at me like another prey.

"Wanna bet? I'm sure to win." I shook my head.

"I know Joe, Shane and Tyler put you up to this but I'm not letting you try and make me fall in love with you." He knew me like the back of his hand, of course he knows when and how I act when I like something or someone.

"I don't even need a day. I know you are in love with me." The cocky smirk on his face was nerve wrecking.

"So what if I was?"

"I would make sure you were mine." His lips suddenly touched my neck, making me jerk.

The bell rang. School has just ended.

"Y-You have a month." I said, pushing him away.

"All I need is a week."

"Deal." The feeling of his lips was still present on my neck, sending me shivering.

"I start today and you're coming around mine. My mum and dad are out on business trips and Martyn just started college. The house to ourselves."

"Phil, if is this a joke, I will make sure to get Adrian on you."

"I'm not trying to piss off the populars. I'm trying to get with you."

I nodded and we left the school and went to his house. Just as I remembered, but his room was so different. It was no longer this vibrant colour filled place. It was so dark and bland. He tapped a space next to him.

"Let me start off by saying this isn't a joke."

"I don't trust you."

"I know, but I'm not joking when I say I'm crazy about you."

He placed a hand on my thigh. It didn't feel wrong but right.

"Bear..."

I slapped him in the face and the hand that was on my thigh went up to his left cheek.

"Don't call me that. I'm not your Bear."

"Don't you miss the old times?" Of course I do and he, out of all people, knew that.

"Yes but you changed, and so did I."

His face came closer and closer to mine. He is going to fucking kiss me. I just leaned forward, hoping our lips would touch. His phone went off though and he had to check it.

"Sorry it was Cath."

"Okay."

He looked at my lips and without warning the were on mine. It was sloppy, but amazing to feel it. He pushed me onto the bed and straddled my hips. He bent down and kissed my lips again. It was awkward but I knew it was for the best for me to also play along, but I'm the only one going to end up with a broken heart.