honestly i hate it when stories literally have the lyrics to an entire song thinly veiled throughout one chapter (*cough cough* looking at you, younger lew)
but i have a song that i really like that i found in a 'midwest emo / emo revival' mixtape on youtube and it took me like an hour to find the dude's bandcamp and the lyrics.
it's called 'chore' by caving. and uh, here's the lyrics::
At what point did I fuck this up
I lost myself but I gained a crutch
It's so much harder than I thought it was
Been spending my nights getting too fucked up
I think I'm a mess, I think too much
More dependent than I ever wasThere's a train track
Nestled between my house and work
And I don't stop at the stop sign
I put my life in the hands of the universe
If there's a train let it take me
If there's a train then I guess that it's my time
And I gasp and I cringe and I hope and I dread
And then it's over, I'm on the other sideLife's a short trip
You're the pilot
I'm not sure that I'm ready to land this thing yet
I've always wanted to drown
My odds are better in the water
So if we go down I'm aiming for the groundI wanna set myself on fire
Could you please watch
See me burn as bright as I have always seen myself
So you'll know I'm not a liar
So I can feel all the pain I've always thought I felt
I keep ending up here on the floor
At least in different rooms
So at least I don't get bored
Oh, existing's such a chore
It's so strange how some days I end up stuck in bed and other days I don't get stuck until I reach the doorLife's a short trip
You're the pilot
I'm not sure that I'm ready to land this thing yet
I've always wanted to drown
My odds are better in the water
So if we go down I'm aiming for the groundLife's a short trip
You're the pilot
There's an answer and I'm sure we'll find itTry to be enough for myself
You're so strong you don't need help
It's so hard to rely on anyone else
You're so strong you don't need helpI tried to leave the house
I stopped at four different gas stations
Went back to the first and found the nerve to get out
But when I finally made it in, couldn't decide what to get
I went and hid in the bathroom, it's my favorite anxious habit
Then I went back home, I gave up and got stoned
I can hardly face the world, I sure as hell can't face it aloneI'm holding out for something more, let's see what life has in store for me
I'll try to keep breathing, but existing's such a chore
So I am holding out for more, let's see what life has in store for me.
I'll try to keep breathing, but existing's such a chore.
YOU ARE READING
bleeding heart || stuff
Humorlew // 20 // still confused about everything this is my random thoughts / tags / song opinions that no one asked for / 'art' attempts / etc