𝖜𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝖎 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 [p.m]

𝖘𝖎𝖝𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖍

Austin's POV

She's asleep, right next to me. The girl Iove. How is that possible? I look at her face, everything seems real.

I raise, going into the bathroom to take my condom off in the trash and wash my hand, and come back to the bed, putting my boxer on, next to her.

I feel her head coming automatically on my chest and a warm breath caressing my skin, which made me smile.

I love her. Since we know each other, I love her. But I mean I lost her for years, I changed, I almost forgot that I loved her until she came back to my life.

And ever since that day I feel amazing, I feel so confident, even though I wasn't sure she loved me too.

And here we are, together, loving each other. We're not "a couple" but we love each other. That's all I need.

So yeah, of course, I changed, my face is now covered in tattoos, I'm on the top of the chart, I'm famous, but if she loves me even with all of that.. that means the world to me.

But what if she doesn't want to be in a relationship because of that?

What if she loves me but the famous thing is bothering her?

I'll ask her tomorrow. For now, I just want to feel her slow breath on my chest, knowing she's sleeping well and fine, knowing she's good now, she's with me.

But I don't know why I just can't sleep. My mind is somewhere else. I slowly caress her hair, thinking deeply about I don't even know what.

I look at the window, the stars, the deep, bluish-black sky. I slowly and softly raise to go to the balcony. Something was weird tonight. I did not watch the stars as I would usually. These weird thoughts came to my head.

As a kid, my brother wanted to be an astronaut. He always talked to me about how magical the stars were. How magical they can be, their meaning. And I was mesmerized by that.

So I deeply look into the sky to try to find the constellation he told me that meant love. The Cassiopeia or something. I don't know, I just remember what she looks like. She's just in front of me. Just there.

I smile and take a cigarette out of the pack that was on the table of my balcony. I light it with the lighter next to it and started to smoke, looking at the beauty of the sky, and the view of Los Angeles from where I was. All these little yellow dots, all these big squares between them, this entire city was just amazing.

I look up to the sky and see the huge full moon. I smile as I turn to my room, watching how the room is filled by the white light of the moon, tracing the curves of Dot's body.

I can't help but falling in love with her every time I see her.

I can't let her get onto my life like that though. I can't let her just come and.. and stole all my interest in other things. 

When she's here, I can't stop but thinking of her, being distracted by her, that sort of thing.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what I prefer between her and.. and every other thing.

I don't know why I'm thinking of this now.

She's messing with my mind actually.

I feel a wet pearl rolling through my cheeks. She's the only girl that ever made me cry. Just by thinking of her, I can already sense how much I love her. But how destructive she is. 

It's her only cons.

I looked at the sky, it was so blurry. My eyes made it blurry from the tears I tried to keep. It's better for me to keep these. 

It's better for her not to see it.

Why am I crying? She's an amazing girl, she's there, she's so caring, kind, beautiful, sweet, so why am I crying? 

She hasn't done anything bad yet. 

Would she even do anything bad after all? If she loves me she won't destroy me.

The full moon brings back memories. I know why I'm thinking of this. 

In high school. All these boys, telling me she was an asshole. She just breaks hearts. All of these guys, sad because she broke their hearts. That's what I'm afraid of.

I'm afraid she might break my heart. 

I'm afraid of her, I'm afraid she won't let me live without her.

I'm afraid of her. 

I'm afraid of love.