The Other Side | Jikook

Chapter 38

Jimin POV

Walking into my room, I gently shut the door behind me before making my way slowly over to my bed. Hesitantly sitting down on the edge of it near the top, I nearly feel like I'm back at square one. That I'm even further away from where I was when I started here.

Glancing over at the bottle of Valium pills that I've not been able to take for a few days now, the craving for them is so much worse than it had been. I had wanted them the moment we came back in here. Now? After what Jungkook's just....

Without even really thinking about it, I reach out and grab the bottle. I knock the open end against the palm of my hand, the tiniest of smiles appearing on my lips as I count out nine of them in my hand. Setting the bottle back down, I then reach for the whiskey on the lower level of the bedside table and open that up. In seconds, I've knocked all the pills back but don't stop as I continue chugging the hard liquor. I only quit when the bottles half empty, deciding to save the rest for next time.

Though, even with those slowly beginning to work their magic, it's still not good enough for me. Flopping backwards onto my back on the bed, I casually reach over the other end of the bed and pull my bag up onto the bed with me. It's mindless work as I reach into the bag and sift through it until I find what I'm looking for. Pulling it out, I eye the green substance in the baggie with a sigh. Tossing my bag back onto the ground, it's only a minute more before the closed baggie is down there next to it.

Closing my eyes, I take a hit off the joint, feeling myself beginning to relax even more. Though, despite the fact that I'm still itching for more, I decide not to push it right now. As much as I'd love to leave this fucking world, Jungkook's already lost one person.

I scoff at the thought, shaking my head to myself. I still can't believe he had the audacity to say that shit. To act like I'm even over it now. It's been eleven years since I watched my own house go up in flames, hearing the explosions that destroyed my family. I'm still not over it.

He thinks he has it hard. He thinks it's hard that he's lost his mother. That it hurt that she didn't care. That I was 'lucky' because at least I got to see my family one more time before they were taken from me, that I was 'lucky' because at least they cared. He has no idea just how much harder it is to suffer when they cared. At least if they hadn't cared, it wouldn't have hurt so much. And quite honestly, I didn't get to see them all one last time. And I wish I hadn't. I only got to see my father before I was taken and it's a memory that'll forever be burned into the back of my head that I wish so desperately that I could erase. I never even got to see my brother or mother one last time. I only heard their voices, and it's one of the most heartbreaking things about it all.

I puff out another cloud of smoke as I try not to cry at the memories. The memories that keep my awake at night. He doesn't know it, but last night sleeping with him had been the first night of peaceful sleep I've had since that night... since the night I'd been taken...

A whimper slips from my lips as I take a longer hit off the joint, desperately wanting all of the drugs and everything to take me away from this world already. Sitting up, I reach back down for the bottle of whiskey, chugging the rest of the bottle in attempt to fill the painful void in my chest and numb me up even more if possible.

When the bottle is finally emptied, a tiny smile appears at my lips once more. At least the bottle now knows my pain of being empty. Scoffing at the thought though, I toss it to the floor and lean back down onto my back and let my eyes fall shut.

I can feel the painful tears slowly making their way down my face, but I just ignore it. The numbing finally beginning to kick in and do something, I hum softly in appreciation for the drugs.

As if it wasn't bad enough that I'd already been feeling like shit for how I'd last left things off with Yoongi, Jungkook has only made matters worse...