secret

-six

Austin's POV:

As I turned the pages of Cady's journal I began to realize that she was more in love with me than I thought.

"Listen to this Robert." I said, reading little parts of it.

"'I've never been able to feel comfortable around a guy since the incident. But Austin makes me feel.. complete again.'"

"Incident?" Robert raised an eyebrow.

"I can't tell you."

"Yeah you can." Robert pushed.

"No. She made me promise."

I flipped the page, and started reading, pushing the negative thoughts away. "Austin and I have gotten really close, but he's keeping something from me. Well, I'm also keeping something from him so I guess it isn't that different. I just don't want him to leave me.."

"He knows. He knows everything, and now hes going to leave. He's going to leave like the rest of them. I only told him because he told my his secret.. What else was I supposed to do?!"

Part of me regretted making her tell me, she seemed to regret it so much.

"Dude, you okay?" Robert asked, and I looked at him.

"Yeah."

I kept reading, wanting to see Cady and hold her and kiss her and tell her I wasn't going anywhere.

"He's famous. I looked him up on YouTube last  night. I thought his normal voice was perfect but his singing voice..?  Holy shit. I watched all his covers, and his music videos. I'm not sure how I didn't know about him before. I guess because I secluded myself in my room for six months and didn't do anything but watch TV and read when I finally went out. But he's more amazing than I thought. And his fans support him so much, but they also hate on basically any girl he hangs out with or has feelings for.. I guess I'd be that way too."

"Can't you just skip pages?" Robert asked, clearly bored.

"No, I have to read it all. Play COD or something." I said, turning the page.

"Let me just take a second and talk about mine and his first kiss. It was a rain kiss, and it was after an amazing date, might I add, and his lips oh my god his lips are fucking amazing. It wasn't like a make out kind of kiss, although that would've been okay with me. It's alright, but every time we're together I want to just make out with him and tell him how much he means to me. I'll settle for cheek kisses for now. It's up to him to kiss me first."

I made a mental note of that. That was the last entry, although I was sure we'd had dates since then. I kept turning the pages, just in case.

"I was raped. I think it was Collin, because I wouldn't have sex with him at Kelsey's party. I'm not sure though, I was panicking and he covered my mouth so I couldn't scream. I shut my eyes because I didn't want to throw up. It hurt.. He didn't hesitate for anything, and he came inside my mouth, but he told me if I bit him he'd slit my throat. I don't know who to tell so I'm witing this down for future reference. I'm scared now that any guy I meet will be scared off if I don't want to have sex with them because its going to bring back all the memories.. I just.. what am I supposed to do now? Everything was taken from me in a horrible way.. I'm crying I have to go bye"

I clenched my jaw. "I'll be back."

I ran down the stairs and to Cady's house. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

-\--\--\--\--\--\--\--\--\--\-

Cady's POV:

I answered the door, not expecting to see Austin standing there.

"It's okay if you want to leave." I said, looking at him.

He didn't speak, instead, he came in, put the journal on the couch, and came over to me.

"I would never leave you, Cady. You're the person I'm in love with, and the person I'd do anything for. You've been through something no girl should have to go through, but you're still here, and that's what counts. We don't have to have sex, Cady. That isn't what I want. I mean yeah, it'd be nice eventually, but I can wait. I haven't kissed you yet except for that one night because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I don't want you to feel like I'm only going to use you. I want you to feel like you can tell me things, so I don't have to read them and hate myself for making you tell me them. I'm also pretty sure I want to kiss you just as bad as you want to kiss me," he smiled, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. "But I'm waiting until you're sure you want me to, okay?"

I looked down at the floor. He pushed my chin up with his fingers.

"I feel like this is bad timing, but I'm going to ask anyways because I can't wait any longer. Cady, will you be my girlfriend?"

I smiled, and I looked into his eyes. "Of course, Austin."

He smiled softly. "Good."

"It only took you two months." I teased.

"Hey, I was making sure you were going to say yes." he held his hands up.

"I probably would've said yes that first night, but that would've been because of the kiss. It made me lose my train of thought."

"Oh, it did?" he smirked.

"Yeah, it did." I laughed.

He kissed me then, through a smile. He licked his lips, asking for entrance. He opened his mouth, and so did I. Our tongues met, and he pulled me closer to him by my waist.

Had it been any other guy, I would've pulled away and probably cut in fear that he was trying to do something. But this was different. His touch made me crave him more, instead of wanting to push him away. And I was right about his lips, they were amazing.

When he stopped, he bit my lower lip. "I love you.."

"I love you too." I replied, kissing his lips with a peck.

He smirked, biting his own lip. "But I love you three."

I tilted my head. "I love you four."

"Ha, I love you more." he grinned, kissing my forehead.

"Stop that was cute." I blushed.

"Babe?" Austin asked a minute later.

"Yeah?" I replied, looking at him.

"I mean it. Nothing until you're sure you're ready."

I kissed his cheek. "I know, love. I know."