Fuck E. Cheese's: Chuck E Boi x PewDiePie

Chapter Three | The Pizza's Too F***ing Hot

Chuck E Cheese's POV:
   I've been watching... watching everything—but mainly the new guy for hours now. I've come to know him as Markipai. An odd yet sultry name for a sultry guy. All my attempts at catching his eye have been useless. I pretty much killed a guy in front of his very eyes, even stooped so low as to kidnap his child. At least I think it was his child. Either way I have a kid now, not entirely sure what to do with it. It being a child and all and myself, a not-child. Still though Markipai has completely ignored my presence this entire night. He's just playing hard to get though, I just know it. I've never had a guy play this hard to get though; Mike doesn't count, that was only a one time fling anyway. Mark is playing into my hands though; he doesn't know I like it hard, real hard.
       Still, as I stand here outside the large door of his office I can't help but imagine the cute little expressions he makes when he's concentrating. Occasionally I'll hear his muffled screams, but I just chalk it up to him not being with me. I mean I also want to scream at the thought of not being with my one true beloved. I just wish I could comfort him; he seems to not be handling the situation well. If only I could hold him in my arms and whisper in his ear that I am here now, that I am not going anywhere. But he closes the doors on us, he must be afraid of commitment. He hasn't opened them in about an hour now; little ol' me is growing mighty worried.
     "Markipai," I call out to him, banging on the door, "Won't you open the door?"
     The only reaction I am met with is another terror filled scream. My poor Markipai, he doesn't understand that I'm scared too. I'll only feel safe in his arms, and it is my arms that will make him feel the same way as well. Without him I feel like a lost little child, with nowhere to go; kinda like the one cowering by the party tables over yonder. But I'll make sure it happens, even if it means tearing down these steel doors. Solid metal doors are no match for the love that Markipai and I share. Now how does one go about tearing down giant steel doors?? I could slam my head against it repeatedly and risk brain damage, but that would be no fun—not for anybody.              
   "How long must I wait for you to finally open up to me and let me in, my love? Figuratively and Literally."
     Suddenly the door opens to my surprise and I'm blinded by this ungodly bright light—his inconvenient flashlight. "Friddle fraddle!" I exclaim using uncharacteristic profanity. "Markipai are you trying to blind me?" This must be his attempt to show me he actually cares! He's blinding me with his love! At this revelation my annoyance quickly turns to adoration. What a romantic, he had to have had this planned from the very beginning. Stringing me along this entire time, pretending I didn't exist, not even uttering a word to me, all of it was just a way for him to reel me in. So then he probably knew I would take that child. He wanted it to be our child. I knew I'd have a happy family with this man!
     The temporary blindness has finally gone away and I'm elated to face my beloved again. My arms await the tender touch of my Markipai. The light finally lets up and I can just barely see into the room that has been locked away all night. My heart pounds quicker and quicker as I begin imagining his beautiful face, muscular body, well-toned thighs, and every glorious inch of his body in this gleaming light. The light continues letting up and I can see more and more; the more I see, the more worried I become. I should've seen his poofy, bright red hair by now. Maybe he's already on one knee ready to propose to me! That must be it. I look down...
       "HE'S GONE?!?!?" I scream. A consistent crying from the party room responds to my scream of despair.
       "SHUT UP GEREMY, DADDY'S UPSET!"
     A faint whimper follows my yell. Shouldn't this kid be sleeping or something? Isn't it way past his bedtime? Eh that's my responsibility though isn't it, as his parent. Does that make me a failure as a father? Have Markipai and I failed as parents? Well he's technically a deadbeat father for abandoning the two of us. I mean I can't raise a child on my own—that's a lot of responsibility. Especially one that's as spoiled and bratty as Geremy. He's an ungrateful one. I give him everything I can and he just cries. That's all he ever really does, I'm beginning to think that's all he knows how to do. Maybe I've got a defective child in my care, I might need a more competent one that doesn't only ever cry. Sheesh he's just a big crybaby, aren't bigger children supposed to grow out of that whole baby phase at some point?
     Maybe he's just hungry? Children are supposed to have food, right? Man being a father is really not something I'm cut out for. If only I had realized this before taking a child into my loving care. Aw ding dang I totally forgot Markipai disappeared. Should probably be a little more concerned with how he vanished into the thinnest of airs. Did I fall in love with a God?? Well judging by his looks, no one could put it past me. Well there's nothing I can do now, might as well go take care of Geremy. I heat up 2 slices of cheese pizza, the blandest of pizza's. Bland... like Mike was... I plop the plate at Geremy's side and take a bite.
"AHHHH SONOVA GOOSE RADDLING PAJAMA WEARING TWO TIMING TODDLER!" I shrek in agony. That pizza is too dang hot. Geremy begins crying again, probably because I yelled. I have to take better care of him. What even is my life anymore.