WoF OC Reviews

Heatwave

Personality: Heatwave is slightly claustrophobic and usually sleeps alone for suntime. Although he has tried joining his siblings' huddle once, he didn't get any sleep that suntime; He has very slight insomnia, as some suntimes he doesn't sleep at all, even if he isn't crowded; He's by far the smartest and most mature out of his siblings. He studies scrolls a lot; Even though they irritate his a lot, he still deeply cares for his siblings, no matter how much they tease him.

His personality is almost as bland as his appearance.

Okay so you mention his phobia, his preferences, his slight insomnia, and then add a summarized version of Starflight's personality into the mix.

Wonderful.

Backstory: I haven't really had him that long, and due to the fact he was created for the purpose of an art contest, I didn't really think of one...

Explains, but doesn't excuse, how bland his appearance and personality is.

Wait, no, it only explains the blandness of his personality; for an art contest, I would probably have expected a more impressive appearance.

Residence: He lives in the rainforest with his family.

Fair, I guess.

Family:

Spiral(Mother)

Spiral? What kind of RainWing name is Spiral?

Coyote(Father)

A generally overused name, but whatever, I suppose.

Venom(Brother/Oldest)

Eh. A pretty boring name.

Brightsting(Sister/Second Oldest)

Now there's a good name! I feel like I've seen it once before, but it's pretty cool anyway.

Dart(Brother/Youngest)

An ordinary name. I'm sure I've seen it before, but that's fine.

(His siblings appearances I can tag you to because they're attached to the same page his appearance is, his parents? Not so much...

That's fine. Family/friend descriptions are optional anyway.

Mate: N/A

Okay.

Crush: Hearth(Firewing/Female)

FireWings?...

We have SkyWings for a reason.

Dragonets: N/A

Wouldn't expect him to. He only just became an adult a year ago, lol.

Other: He and his siblings are quadruplets, Venom is the oldest, Brightsting is the second oldest, Heatwave is the third oldest, and Dart is the youngest

Now, here's the thing: their shared egg must have been HUGE. And, I know this might be a bit gross/gory or whatever, but realistically? Spiral would've died laying this egg because of how big it is, and Heatwave and his siblings probably would've died with her. Additionally, even in an egg four times the size of a regular egg, I doubt four dragonets would be able to fit in there without one of them merging with another (aka conjoined twins). I'm not an expert, and I won't pretend I am, but I know enough to know Quadruplet dragons existing without the mother dying or one of the siblings conjoining or dying is strange. Basically? This whole quadruplet situation is odd because none of Heatwave's siblings are dead or conjoined as a result of this unusual occurrence.

Overall Review:

The Good Parts::

— The names Heatwave and Brightsting are pretty good

The Bad Parts::

— The lack of backstory (additionally, the lack of explanation behind how Spiral and Coyote even met)

— The bad SandWing representation in his appearance/abilities, namely the unrealistic SandWing barb, the white pupils, and the color-changing scales.

— The lack of rank (not being an IceWing gives no excuse for this. Even RainWings have ranks)

— The bland appearance (and it lacks a lot of details, like what the whole body other than the neck + head looks like)

— The bland personality

— The name "Spiral"

— The weird quadruplet situation?? Dragon quadruplets don't make sense

How To Improve + Suggestions:

For the backstory — This one's pretty straightforward: give your OC a backstory.

For the SandWing representation — This one's pretty straightforward, too. If Heatwave was in the actual series, he'd appear more like a RainWing with bizarre eyes (SandWings don't even have those eyes) and enchanted by an animus to have a barbed tail. Artistic creativity when drawing your OC's fine, but using an artistically creative drawing as your OC's reference has a good chance of contradicting the canon. I suggest ditching the whole Sand/Rain thing, since it isn't realistic sense and isn't contributing to the character (right now, anyway. If you give him a backstory that included something that related to him being a sand/rain, then I wouldn't suggest ditching it; merely refining it into something more believable).

For the rank — Okay, pretty sure all of these are straightforward: give your OC a rank. RainWings have ranks as well as SandWings, so not giving your OC a rank at all is strange.

For the appearance — This time, it's less that it's almost nonexistant/not there, and more like it's horrifically dull and bland. Heatwave looks like a regular RainWing with no interesting or outstanding features (even RainWings have things like accessories, scars, different heights/weights, etc.) and it needs to be modified. Additionally — if you plan to give me a picture of what he looks like, don't give me just a headshot! A better way to go would be to use words and sentences to describe what your character looks like.

For the name "Spiral" — Either explain the name or change it, because, at this point, I'm convinced it isn't a RainWing name at all.

For the quadruplet situation — Maybe give them different appearances and make them just siblings, not quadruplets? Don't get me wrong; quadruplet dragons are an interesting concept, but utterly unrealistic when we're speaking about dragons and dragon eggs.

I suggest changing the name "Coyote" — It's a bit overused, honestly.

I suggest changing the name "Venom" — It's not precisely overused, but it's bland.

Additional Comments:

I think the real moral of the story here, is that if you give me an OC to review that was made for an art contest and had no further alterations after said art contest, then chances are you're not going to get the best rating.

My Rating:

3.1/10

Originality: 25/25 (This character is original)

Realism: 4/25 (2 points knocked off for the lack of rank, 1 point knocked off for the name "Spiral," 3 points knocked off for the quadruplet situation, 5 points knocked off for the appearance, 5 points knocked off for the lack of backstory, 5 points knocked off for the personality)

Interest: 0/25 (I'm not interested in this character)

Uniqueness: 2/25 (This character is not unique)