Finding Him

Chapter 9

     "How much of that did you hear?" A barely audible whisper seemed to scream at me. Why did I eavesdrop? I looked into Lilly's eyes. Her eyes were puffy and blood shot. She looked like she had given up right then and there. Why was I listening to something that wasn't my problem to deal with?

     I sat in silence. I didn't want to tell her that I had heard the entire conversation, but at the same time, I didn't want to lie. I couldn't lie to her. It was wrong. Just say it. I took a deep breath trying to collect my thoughts.

     "Please answer me, how mu-"

     "I heard everything." A simple statement. Three words. I stood up and looked at something other than her. I wanted to hug her, tell her that I was so sorry for listening, it's not my business anyway. But I didn't. I said nothing after that.

     Lilly ran upstairs and I heard her door slam shut. Just then, Henry then came into view. I felt like he was looking right through me. My eyes welled up with tears. I couldn't speak. Not a single word or syllable came out of my mouth. My throat felt raw and scratchy. All I could do was look at Henry. He too had tears staining his face. Henry knows.

     "I need to leave now." I grabbed my belongings and started walking towards the front door. Before I reached it, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Henry. I didn't want to ask him about his mom. Or talk about the event that just happened. I tried to get his hand off, but he kept it there.

     "Henry, please," I pled, "I just want to go home." He hesitated at first and opened his mouth like he was going to say something. He instead nodded and let me go. I opened the door and started walking down the driveway. I didn't say goodbye or even look back. I was hoping Henry would stop me, say that he was sorry and that everything was going to be okay.

     I knew it wasn't going to happen, but I just wish it was. Here I go, running around ruining people's families. It seems like it's all I ever do. I paused for a moment. Praying or hoping for something, anything, to happen. Nothing. A tear slipped down my cheek. Why do I have to go and ruin everything? First my family, now Henry's.

     I kept my eyes on the ground and started walking. I could figure out my way home, I was sure of it. It cant be that hard. I started walking at a fast pace. I just wanted to get home, I didn't want to face Henry. But at the same time, I wish he could tell me everything. I know I've only known him for a couple months, but I should've known something like that.

     Quit being so stubborn Julia. You haven't told him about your mom either. I wanted so bad to connect with Henry, but I feel like after today, it won't happen because of my stupid decisions. My tears became hot and I kept walking. Soon I started running, I ran for what seemed forever.

      All these houses look the same. I don't know where I am...

     I look at my surroundings; every house looked the same with their perfect lawns, and perfect mailboxes. Nothing was out of place. It looked peaceful and calm. The only thing that didn't belong was me. I was the only thing that was out of place here. I gave up, what else am I supposed to do? I sat down on the curb.

     I felt numb, my face was drenched with tears. I didn't think that today could get any worse. I nudged my head into my and just cried. I was lost, and I didn't know what to do. Five minutes went by, then ten. I calmed myself down, and looked around. There was a car coming down the street.

     The car kept getting closer and I realised that I was sitting next to their driveway. The driver rolled down the window and I stood up, wiping my face with my hands. I walked to the car and saw a woman in her mid 40s. I'm guessing her husband was in the car with her.

     "Hello miss, I don't think I know you." I pulled at the strings of my bag.

     "No, you don't. I'm so sorry I'll leave." I started to walk away but she stopped me before I could get very far.

     "Where are you going? You seem very upset, we can help you. Are you lost?"

     I turned around facing back towards them. The husband had a genuine smile. They seemed like a nice couple; plus I needed to get home. I nodded and opened the car door. After getting inside and buckling my seatbelt, I gave them my address and we were on the way back to my house.

     It was a quiet ride, and I was thankful for that. I stared down at my lap rethinking everything that happened. Everything went wrong because of me. It's all my fault. I'm glad the couple in front of me hadn't asked anything. I wanted to just be back at home with a pint of Ben&Jerry's.

     We finally reached my driveway and when the car stopped I unbuckled my seatbelt. As I was leaving the car, I thanked the nice couple and started up the walkway. I got my keys out of my bag and started to insert the key into the lock when my father opened the door.

     "You know the door is pretty much always unlocked right?" He looked at me with a sly grin and let me inside.

     "I saw you pull into the driveway, was that the Howard guy you were with?"

     I really didn't want to talk about it. "It's Henry dad, his name is Henry. Also that wasn't him that dropped me off. Can we just leave it at that?"

     I walked into the kitchen and set my bag down. I opened the freezer and grabbed a pint of Ben&Jerry's mint chocolate-chip icecream. Dad gave me a looked but just blew it off. He figured something was up. I went upstairs and shut my bedroom door happy to be alone.