Yeah. Okay." He led her to that all-too-familiar doorway, then grabbed her arms and pulled her up against his body. "I miss you." She missed him too, but she couldn't tell him that. "Chris, please, let me say this." Robyn stepped back, but when she saw the pure terror in his eyes, her heart ached for him. "I'm sorry I got so pissed with you last night. I didn't want us to end like that, so I want to explain how I felt." He nodded, seeming to relax a little. "You met someone else last night. That hurt, but not as much as you bailing out as soon as things got difficult." "I'm not bailing out." "Shut the fuck up and listen to me. Don't argue." "I'm not arguing." "Chris." Her eyes pierced him, and he backed up against the wall. "If you want to end this, that's fine." She choked back tears. Knowing she had nothing left to lose, she decided to gamble. "But do it for the right reason." "I don't want to hurt you. What other reason do I need?" "I don't believe that." "You think I would hurt you?" He moved closer and reached out, but she backed away. She couldn't let him touch her. That would drain what little defensive strength she had left. "No, I don't think that's the reason. You wanted someone else—" He shook his head hard. "No, I don't want her." "—and you're scared." His eyes narrowed and he growled. "I am not scared." She shot him a hard look, but he stood his ground. "You're afraid of trying to make this work so you're taking the easy way out." Saying it out loud brought back her anger, making her tone sharp. "This shit aint easy! I told you that last night." "Then be honest with me." "I have always been honest with you." "Then be honest with yourself." She advanced on him, and he froze. "What the hell does that mean?" "Tell me you don't want me anymore, and if you believe it, I'll believe it, and I'll let you go." She knew she was putting it all on the table, and waited for him to fold or call her bluff. But she wasn't bluffing, and he would not fold. "I want you, Robyn. Do you believe that?" "Yes, I do. That's why I won't let you run away." "I am not running—" "Chris, you're not listening to me." "You're not listening to me!" "You said you don't want to hurt me. I understand that. You said you don't want that girl you met last night. That's great." She waited for him to argue again, but he stayed quiet. "Listen to me, now. You were tempted last night and it scared you. You didn't know what to do, so you did what you always do—you left." "But you wouldn't let me." "I don't want you to have any regrets. If it's over between us, it's over. No second chances." "No, I don't want.... I don't know...." He ran his hands through his hair and turned away from her, bumping his head against the cold brick wall. When he turned to face her again, his desperate brown eyes were filled with honest fear. "Robyn, I'm gonna be tempted again. I'm gonna hurt you and that's what scares me the most." "Ah-ha! There it is. That's the reason. The thought of hurting her scared him more than the thought of losing her. Robyn summoned all the inner strength Mike and her mother claimed she possessed. "I'm not afraid, Chris." "Are you sure?" She had to be. "Yes. We'll deal with your temptation as it happens." "I don't know if I can—resist." She understood; Chris didn't know how to resist temptation—never had. "Everyone gets tempted. The important thing is you didn't give in." "I kissed her." "I know. You told me." "Actually, she kissed me. I pushed her away." "You can stop talking about the shit now." "Sorry." Robyn closed the distance between them. She felt safe touching him now, and took his shaking hands. "Temptation by itself isn't bad. It's how you handle it that matters." Chris looked into her eyes and squeezed her hands as if he needed strength from her. "Last night, I didn't know how to handle it." "Yes you did. You told her no and then you came to see me, and if you weren't so bound and determined to run away from me—" "Hey!" "—we might've had a lot of fun last night." "What are you talking about?" "I hear makeup sex is fucking amazing." "I never thought...." He looked so baffled she had to offer him some hope, some reason to believe they had a future. "I'm stronger than I look." God, I hope so. "I can handle it when you talk to another girl or smile at her. I'll be okay." His eyes sparkled with unrelenting mischief. "Did you just give me permission to flirt with other women?" Oh, how I missed those wicked brown "Nigga, you wish, you know what the fuck is up. I know how guilty you felt last night. Don't do that to yourself. You'll end up hurting us both." "I don't like hurting you." "It wasn't a whole lot of fun for me, either." "I am so sorry." "I know." She slid her arms around him and held him close, resting her head on his chest, soft and warm against her. He wrapped his hands in her hair. "Am I forgiven?" "For what?" He leaned back and looked into her eyes. "For trying to take the easy way out." "Yeah, don't do that again." "I couldn't if I wanted to. You made it impossible." "That'll teach you to bail out on me." He touched her cheek. "You know I want you, so the only question is: do you want me?" She couldn't resist the temptation to tease him. "Hmm... let me think about that." Chris growled and kissed her, claiming her lips as his own. He forced his tongue into her mouth, taking what he wanted and giving her everything she needed. "Tell me you want me or I'll stop." "I want you, Chris," she whispered on his lips. "That's what I like to hear. Come to bed with me and let's make up." "Ooo... I want to." She grabbed his wrist and turned his watch around. "But I have to get ready for my meet." "Damn it. All right, but tonight I won't let you run away from me." He pulled her close and nibbled her ear. "I won't even try." She pushed away from him. "Are you coming?" "I'm damn close." She frowned at him and rolled her eyes. "Oh, you're talking about the game." He winked. Robyn gave him one last kiss and ran off to the locker room. She didn't dare look back, afraid she would see something she wouldn't like. Had she done the right thing? Was fighting to stay with him worth the effort? And he still wouldn't talk about the girl from high school. Did he still want her? Maybe he'd gotten past that, but he still feared anything resembling a serious relationship. Oh God. Was Robyn strong enough for both of them?" -- Chris sat in the bleachers as Robyn set up to start the 100 meter hurdles. On your mark. Get set. go! The gun fired and off they went. "RUNNNN!" the crowd cheered, Chris and Mike among them. Robyn had just taken the lead. "Robyn took you back already?" Mike said to Chris. "How did you do that?" "I didn't. She wouldn't let me break up with her." Damn stubborn woman. How does she know me so well? Mike laughed. "Finally, a woman who won't let you run away." "I was not running away." Mike gave him a knowing look, but Chris ignored him, determined to follow Robyn's body as she jumped over every hurdle to the last finally finishing in 1st. "Okay, maybe I was. I'm surprised she didn't give up on me." He'd gone through a lot to get his Kiwi back, but she was worth it. Would it be this hard to keep her? He didn't mind. As long as she wanted him, he would do whatever was necessary. This would be the biggest challenge he ever faced, but he chose not to be afraid anymore. "Maybe she thinks you're worth the trouble." "Yeah, I guess so." She knew he would be tempted again, and that he might try to take the easy way out again, but she'd listened when he told her he was afraid of hurting her. She still wanted to be with "and even offered to help him. Was he really worth that much trouble? "She said some things that made me think." "Think about what?" He hadn't meant to say that out loud. How could he explain it to Mike if he didn't understand it himself? "Lots of things." Could he tell her he feared getting hurt too? "I like women who make me think." Chris laughed. "Yeah, you would." "Robyn likes it when you hum." "I do not—wait.... Robyn likes it?" Mike laughed, but he ignored him. Robyn had just ran the final leg for the 4x4 and grabbed another first place. "Damn, she's good." Chris whistled and clapped. "Scary too." Aubrey plopped down next to them. Chris snarled "What do you mean? You're the one who let her walk out of practice with it fucked up?" "Shes stubborn, she wouldn't let me see if it was okay or not." "Ha that's sounds like my Kiwi." Chris laughed. "Aubrey saw the way Chris was watching Robyn's every move, cheering and shouting encouragement every chance he got. "You really like her." Am I this obvious to everyone? "Yeah, I do." "That's good. It's all about finding the right person." Aubrey caught Chris' eye. "Treat her right." "I will." Finding the right person.... Someone who wouldn't put up with his BS. Someone who saw through his charm and called him on it. His mother let his father charm his way out of trouble for too long. She'd never held him accountable until the damage was beyond repair. Robyn wouldn't do that. Is Robyn the right person for me? His parents thought they'd found the right person. His father had found the 'right person' more than once. No, that couldn't be right. Mike had said he believed there was only one right person, and that once Chris found her, he wouldn't need—or want—to look for anyone else. Ever since he'd met Robyn, he'd forgotten all about looking for the next girl. Even the fine ass girl at Rocky's didn't interest him. He couldn't even remember her name. It didn't matter. Robyn had to be the right girl for him. He couldn't imagine anyone else. He didn't want to. He'd thought Ashley was the right person. Now he knew better, but at the time, it seemed so clear. Ashley had left him because she believed he never thought about the future. But he wasn't that guy anymore. How long would he let those memories drag him down? Could he finally let the past go and consider a future with Robyn? Robyn had finished her events. Chris went down to the track. He picked her up and spun her around, laughing with her. "You were amazing." He gave her a hard kiss right on the lips. "I can't believe I placed in 3/4 events!." She leapt from Chris' arms and bear-hugged Mike "I feel like celebrating," she said. "Where do you want to go, Baby?" Chris would go anywhere with her. "Let's make it someplace quiet. I'm wiped out." His mind whirled. She wouldn't be quiet for long. "Oo—I know. Come over to my place. I made a cake last night, and I have a ton of it left." "Mmm... what kind?" Both Chris and Mike wanted to know. "Chocolate, caramel, toffee, whipped cream...." "Oh, Kiwi, don't tease me." Chris pulled her close. "Let me take a shower, and I'll meet you both back here." "You're inviting me too?" Mike said. "Sure. Why not? Be right back." Robyn ran off to the gym. "Is that okay with you, man?" Chris actually didn't mind having Mike tag along. He liked hanging out with his two best friends. Wow. What a weird thought. "Sure. Why not? Whatever makes her happy." Right then Chris knew that all he ever wanted was to make Robyn happy. It didn't matter what his mother had said, what his father had done, or what Ashley had thought. Chris wanted love. No, he needed it; craved it. Could he take the chance? He needed to talk to Mike about it, because his friend knew about love. Maybe they should invite Mikes girlfriend too, and then Chris could see how a couple in love were supposed to treat each other. "Where's Taylor?" Mike shrugged. "We're not seeing each other anymore." "Sorry, man." So much for that idea. "It's okay. I'm already interested in someone else." "You sound like me." Chris laughed and corrected himself. "Like I used to." "How do you like that?" "I like it. Who is she?" "No one you know." "That narrows it down." Mike laughed. Chris watched Robyn disappear into the gym, trying not to think about how close he'd come to losing her last night. He'd said no to Lauren, doing that right at least, but he also remembered what he'd done wrong, what hurt Robyn the most. He promised himself he'd never make that mistake again. A stiff breeze blew across the open field and he shivered, remembering how cold he'd felt without Robyn in his life. He didn't ever want to feel cold again. -- Mel wasn't home when they got to the girls' apartment, and Chris breathed a silent sigh of relief. "Make yourselves comfortable, guys." Robyn ducked into the kitchen and brought them each a plate piled high with chocolate,caramel, and more chocolate, with whipped cream on top. Chris grabbed a fork and dug in as she settled in next to him. "Wow." Mikes plate was emptying fast. "This is so good. What's it called?" He made yummy noises and took another bite. She smiled and blushed. "Um... it's called Better than Sex Cake." "It is not," Chris protested. "It's great, but it's not better than sex." She giggled, but didn't argue with him. "Yes it is," Mike said. "You need to get pussy more often." "Ya think?" Mike took another bite and moaned. "Chris told me you were a great cook, but I had no idea you could do this." "Thank you." Robyn smiled at Mike. "I told you she cooked better than my mother, but you wouldn't believe me." "I'll never doubt you again." "Kiwi...." Chris put his empty plate on the coffee table, slid close to her, and nibbled her neck. "You good on the track, in the kitchen...." He touched his lips to her ear. "...and in the bedroom. May I have some more?" "You're talking about cake, right?" Chris slid his hand under her shirt, teasing her bare skin. "For now." "Since you asked so nicely...." She kissed him and got up. "More for me too, please." Mike handed her his empty plate. Robyn gave them as much as they wanted, but she didn't eat. "Ima have my own personal chef." Chris grinned, thinking for the first time ever about having a future with a woman. "Is that what you think?" Robyn tried to scowl at him, but he didn't buy it. "Uh-huh. You can serve me breakfast in bed, lunch in bed, dinner...." He kissed her, softly, sweetly, promising more. "And what have you done to deserve all that?" "I—" Fell in love with you. Chris didn't deserve it—he didn't deserve a woman like her at all—but he loved her. His parents' messed up relationships, Ashley's rejection—all that pain and humiliation left him when he'd acknowledged he loved Robyn. It scared him to death too, but Robyn was smart and beautiful and had an inner strength he envied—and needed. He would probably end up hurting her, but until then he would love her as much as he possibly could. He had to tell her. But he couldn't do it now, not with Mike there. Then they heard the doorknob turn. "Damn it, she has the worst timing," Chris grumbled. Mel took two steps into the hallway and glared at Chris. Mike startled and waved. "Hey, Mel, you live here?" "Yes." Mel's gaze moved from Chris to Mike, and her eyes softened a bit. "You didn't know that?" "I knew Robyn had a roommate named Melissa." Psycho roommate, Mike had called her. "I didn't make the connection." Mel fixed her eyes on Robyn. "I thought you were going to tell me when he was here so I could avoid him." "It was a spur of the moment thing," Robyn said. "I didn't have time to tell you." "Nice." Mel's eyes darkened. "I should've expected as much from you. He's a bad influence." Robyn's eyes turned wide and wet. "Why are you being so mean bitch?" Chris moved closer to Robyn. He'd faced defensive linemen three times his size every day without fear. He could take Mel's abuse, but he wouldn't let her go after Robyn. "Leave Robyn out of this. I'm the one you have a problem with." "That's putting it mildly." Chris stood up and stalked toward Mel, and she met him head on. "I'd like to know just what the hell your problem is." Mike got to his feet and moved between them. Mel snarled at Chris. "You don't remember." He wished he could, but he had to admit he didn't. "Sorry. You'll have to enlighten me." Mel ripped off her coat and threw it in the closet. "Second semester, freshman year. We dated." He still didn't remember. "It lasted longer than I expected it to—almost a month. I thought I'd changed you." Mel... pretty, dark hair, stoner, with a smile that lit up the room. Was she the same Mel facing him now? "But no. Some ditzy cheerleader got your attention. You didn't even bother to break up with me." Robyn sat on the couch, chewing her lower lip. "Mel... I remember dark bhair, sexy brown eyes and big beautiful...." His eyes slid down her body to her breasts— "Ahem." --and then snapped back to her face. The brown eyes he remembered had once burned with lust, but now they burned holes right through him. "You didn't wear glasses back then." "Brilliant, Einstein." "No, I did break up with you." He didn't remember how exactly. "I always do." "That's what you tell everyone, but I know it's not true." Robyn's face went pale. "You cheated and you lied?" "You cheated on me with—what's her name—Draya. I'd like to say I was surprised...." "Draya! Now I remember." "Great. You remember her." Mel's fingers curled and Mike grabbed her arm. "Draya was a fine as fuck. I couldn't resist her." Mike cringed. "Ay nigga.. Chill, not good." "I was young and stupid." "You still are," Mel snapped. "We both were. You thought you could change me, and I thought... I thought with my dick." "You still do," Mike said, and Mel echoed his chuckle without any humor. Chris ignored them. "I told you that maybe we should see other people, and I thought we were done." Mel rolled her eyes. "I hate maybe. Do you know what 'maybe' means to a woman? It means there's hope. It means maybe you'll come back, maybe it's not over." "Mel, I had no idea—" "And then you forgot all about me! That really pissed me off. You've been with so many women, you can't even remember them all." He couldn't deny it. "If it helps, I didn't remember you'd dated Chris." Mike looked at Mel with an apology in his eyes. "I can't keep track of his women either." "No, it doesn't help." Mel looked like she wanted to slap Mike, but snarled at Chris instead. "I got over you eventually, but seeing you with Robyn brought it all back. I'm still over you, so don't go thinking I want you back. I just don't want you to hurt Robyn the way you hurt me." "I would never hurt Robyn." "I think you'd better tell her that, and you'd better hope she believes you. I wouldn't." That pissed him off. "I don't care if you believe me or not! I broke up with you before I started seeing... what's her name. You got hung up on the word maybe. That's your fucking problem, not mine." "I don't care what your problem is. I gave up trying to figure that out a long time ago. Right now, you have bigger problems than me." Chris turned to Robyn, still sitting on the couch. Her swollen red lip stood out in sharp contrast against her pale skin. "Robyn," he breathed. She wouldn't look at him. She got up and took the dishes to the kitchen. "I knew you would hurt her." Mel spun and walked out the door, leaving her coat, her keys and everything else behind. "You take care of Robyn," Mike said. "I'll go after Mel." Chris started into the kitchen, but turned back. "What do I do? What do I say to her?" "Don't say anything yet. Listen to her. Then you'll know what to do." Mike grabbed his coat and took off out the door. Chris ducked through the kitchen door, running his hands through his hair. He watched Robyn put away the cake, load the dishes in the dishwasher, wipe off the counter—doing everything but acknowledge him. Listen. How hard can that be? It would be a lot easier if she would speak to him. He couldn't stand the silence anymore. "Robyn?"
