Internet

I: How it all started

It all started last year, back in 2016.

But before we get to that part, let me tell you a bit about myself.

I'm a 17 year old girl who has overprotective yet caring and loving parents, is surrounded by nice people who I consider friends, and we could say I'm a bit lost in life but, overall, it's a good one.

I've always been an extrovert, outgoing, cheerful and honest. I'm hot tempered too, get easily irritated and sometimes I can be harsh, even if I don't want to be.

I'm 5'4ft , my hair is dark brown, straighter than a line, full lips with a nice smile, dark brown eyes and a small but not upturned nose.

I've always loved socializing, meeting new people, especially if they're from other countries, and trying new things.

But I never thought what I was about to play would turn out the way it did and I'd do the things I did.

One of my best friends' name is Ann. She's very talented at drawing. On my 16th birthday, she gifted me a portrait she made of Ariana Grande, at the time, my favourite singer.

We had turned 16 when it all started in May.

We were both on Skype, we Skyped a lot since we live a bit far from each other, and were playing this online game called "Our World" trollling people and having fun.

That day, we came across a girl in the game who told us that we should get this other game called IMVU if we liked trolling so much. It was like a Sims, but online and only for chatting. You actually can't get pregnant unless it's with game money, and you can't eat either.

That was my first mistake, getting the stupid game.

We got the game and created our avatars, together.

For a few weeks, we would get on and have fun trolling and being silly.

Never thought the internet could affect anyone mentally so badly, for god's sake, it was after all just a game!

I started getting on without her on the days she couldn't play and I met new people, people who I ended up getting attached to and who, in the end, weren't worth it. I got so hurt emotionally because I thought they were my friends, but they never were. They were not real people, just online users in a game.

All the secrets, all the messages, everything I shared with those people were wasted time and left me feeling sad and broken in the end. All of the people in the game seemed to be depressed or had mental issues. And it slowly got to me.

Friends can break your heart too. I got mine broken a lot of times, not by real friends, but I kept all of this to myself, I wouldn't have known how to explain to Ann or anyone all of this.

One day, when Ann and I got in the game, we met two guys. They were honestly not okay in the head and emotionally unstable.

We didn't know that. Not until one of the guys confessed having killed someone in real life.

Ann got so scared that she quit the game and I stayed.

That was the mistake I will always regret.

And that's how my "self destruction" began.