softbangtanboys(ao3)
The media make it seem easy, being a twenty something in love. And sometimes it is. Sometimes Jeongguk will lie in bed swaddled in blankets and watch his lover trace patterns on his ankles with his pretty fingers. Sometimes they'll be coming back from a photoshoot and Jeongguk will see his hyung smiling at someone's pet dog and his heart will feel so warm and full.
But then there will be days like today.
Days when Jeongguk is too tired to keep up the façade of being alright with the sort of relationship they have. Days when he'll try to hold the wobbly sandcastle they've managed to build in place, only to find it crumble into his hands.
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"I don't understand why you guys want to go out to buy Christmas presents.." Yoongi looks at the enthusiastic.. or rather, the overenthusiastic bunch gathered at the door. "They invented online shopping for a reason."
Jeongguk peers at them, from where he's slouched on the sofa. He's turned them down too, but while Yoongi has a viable excuse- he's in the middle of writing a song- Jeongguk has merely mumbled something about wanting to get his packing done. It's lame and he knows it, but so far no one has questioned it. Well, actually Seokjin has, and even Jimin had looked at him with an amused expression.. that had soon morphed into one of concern, but the hyung who should've noticed, hasn't even acknowledged his refusal to come. Jeongguk stares daggers at his back, trying to bore a hole in his stupid Gucci jacket with his laser vision, or at the very least, will him to turn around.
But despite his Golden Maknae, Jack of all trades status, Jeongguk is not Matilda and his hyung is dumb with a capital D, so Jeongguk's pointed staring is in vain. To his dismay, his hyung follows the rest of the members as they file out of the dorms, clutching his ostentatious handbag. Jeongguk reckons it's probably worth more than the money he's got inside it. On a better day, he might have joked about it, but as it is, the guy doesn't spare his dongsaeng a second glance (or even a first glance, now that the dongsaeng in question really thinks about it) choosing instead, to gush loudly about his Christmas plans. He looks like a schoolboy heading out on a field trip, genuinely excited about the excursion, and completely ignorant about Jeongguk's passive aggressive attempts to get his attention.
The door slams shut after them and Jeongguk glares harder, one last ditch attempt to bring him back. All he gets for his efforts, however, is the strange look Yoongi shoots him as he leaves for his studio. Guess Jeongguk has nothing to do now but to really pack his stuff.
It's been a busy year and their schedules have been so packed that Jeongguk has hardly found time to breathe. The latter half of the year was particularly eventful and tiring- album promotions, going to America multiple times, not to mention all the interviews and award shows and filming back at home. So yes, Jeongguk needs a break, a well-earned vacation and thankfully, now that Christmas is around the corner, he's getting one.
He stuffs a couple of jeans into his bag. Manager hyung said to travel light, so he is making a conscious effort. But Jeongguk is old enough to realize he could technically buy the entire train to Busan if he wanted to. He laughs and he can't really help it. It sounds bitter and leaves an aftertaste of jealousy and longing in his mouth. He folds a couple of white Tshirts and places them in his suitcase, sighing when the bitterness shows no sign of leaving. But Jungkook is a stubborn fucker- always has been, it's what has got him this far at such a young age- so he continues his packing with a steely resolve that would make most bulldozers crunch into reverse gear at the prospect of a head on collision.
It hurts though. It hurts and there's no disguising it. Over the years, Jeongguk might've progressed from blasting G-Dragon and IU to Justin Bieber and Troye Sivan. He might have traded video games for bowling. But there's one thing that has always been constant. Deep inside, he's always been a sucker for romance.
