A Muslim's Romantic Journey

Chapter 74.

“Really?” Mum asked. “I didn’t see them.” I took my phone out and carefully went through the pictures. There were a few in there which Safia probably wouldn’t want others to see. But as careful as I was, I accidentally slid the screen onto the next picture which was of Safia sleeping. She looked cute so I took the picture but she hated it.

“That’s enough pictures for today,” I said putting the phone back in my pocket.

“They’re growing so quickly,” Mum stated, sounding quite sad. She wasn’t very happy these days.

“Right, I’m off. I have some homework to finish. Just a few months and then I’m off to uni. Can’t wait to have my own dorm room.” I raised my eyebrows.

“You’re moving out?”

“Yep. In’sha’allah.” I looked over at mum.

“You’re letting her move out?” Mum just shrugged.

“It’s what she wants.”

“I’ll help you with your homework,” I said and stood up to follow Maryam up the stairs to her room. Once we got there, Maryam turned around with a questioning look. She knew what I was going to say to her.

“Maryam, you can’t just leave like that. It’s not good. And you’re going to be living alone? No, that’s unacceptable.”

“Why? I can manage on my own. And I’ll be back every weekend.

“You can’t leave mum alone like this. She needs you,” I explained making Maryam scoff.

“The only thing she needs is Javed.”

“Maryam, you’ve got to change your attitude. Things are different now. Can you not see how mum is? This divorce has left her distraught.”

“Well if dad can live alone, why can’t mum live with Javed?”

“Dad is coping much better.” It hurt for me to admit it, but he seemed to be getting on a lot better than when he was with mum. It was hard for him at first but he had settled in the flat Safia and I lived in before.

“So this is a good thing? Mum and dad’s divorce I mean.” I thought for a moment and then replied,

“If we look at it positively, yes it is. Dad’s happy, I think. And you know, if it weren’t for their divorce and dad coming to live with me, maybe I wouldn’t have fixed things with Safia.”

“What was wrong between you and Safia?” Maryam asked, alarmed.

“Yes, I’d like to know too,” Mum said, coming into Maryam’s room. “I was curious as to what you two were discussing so I came up.”

“Well, it’s sort of complicated. Safia had postnatal depression and I’m pretty sure it’s over now. But she was just really tough to talk to and things between us changed for a little while. It was only a short time.”

“So how are things now?”

“Well…” I started and Maryam’s face became alarmed again.

“Why? What’s wrong now?”

“You know that I’m living with her family, right?” Mum had already made it clear she disapproved of me living there but she didn’t object. She nodded for me to continue. “I want to move but Safia’s not so keen on leaving that place any time soon. She said we can move if we find a place close enough but I know she’s not happy with the idea. She claims she’s fearful of falling back into that depression and she doesn’t want to take care of Adam and Maria on her own.”

“I don’t blame her much this time,” Mum said. Maryam and I stared at mum wide eyed. My mum was defending Safia! “Stop looking at me like that. I still don’t like her but I understand her fears. I had postnatal depression after I had you.” Mum pointed at me. “I remember it. Yusuf, don’t take it too lightly. It’s not just a constant feeling of sadness, it’s a little more. You feel worthless, tired, you find it hard to cope, hard to sleep. It changes you for a while. I don’t know how severe hers was but I know it’s horrible.”