Roomies - The Baby Years

Chapter 22

The next morning came faster than I would have liked. I woke up by Ben jumping onto my bed and calling out "mummy, mummy!" and as I opened my eyes, I saw that my son was fully dressed. I sat up and grabbed him into a hug,

"What are you doing up already, baby?" I asked him and got my answer from over by the door,

"I woke him up, figured I'd take him to kindergarden." Niall said andI looked over at him, he was looking well.

"That's alright, I'd rather you stay here so we can have a chat." I answered him and Ben ran over to his father, asking him if breakfast was ready. Niall nodded at Ben and then they made their way downstairs.

I took my phone from the nightstand and texted Eli, asking him if he were OK with coming over around lunch. He sent me a thumbs up and I went to get dressed.
As I got down to the kitchen, Niall was sitting with Benjamin, eating a sandwich and I thought back to the times I had to force him to eat anything else than subway's chicken sub.
"Coffee?" I asked and Niall pointed to the counter, where there was a pot of coffee brewing. After I grabbed a cup and sat down, Niall smiled at me with sort of a apologetic smile. I took a sip of my coffee and looked over at our son.

"So Benji, I heard that Sophie will be coming to kindergarden today. Are you two still playing together?"
Ben nodded and took his last piece of sandwich in his mouth,

"Yes, but she is moving soon." I wasn't sure what he was talking about. According to Eli, he had a good shot at getting shared custody, even sole custody because of Willa's constant disappearings throughout Sophie's childhood.

We all finished breakfast, then I put Ben into the car and dropped him off at kindergarden. As I came back home, Niall was sitting in the sofa with the TV on, Friends was playing on netflix. It was the episode where Monica puts a turkey on her head, I had seen it so many times with Niall before and each time, he laughed so much he started crying.

Now, he was just staring blankly into the TV.

"You're back." he said and turned his head to look at me, I nodded as I sat down in the sofa a few inches away from him.

"I'm sorry for coming here, Stel." He said and put his hand on my leg, I brushed it off and looked at him,

"What happened yesterday?" I asked and he took a deep breath,

"I was with Emily. She took a shot and I... well I didn't say no to one. Then we went in to town and visited some pubs. I'm not sure how I got so drunk, I'm irish for godssake."

I couldn't help but smile, "yeah, you are Irish but you are also sober because bad things happen when you drink."
"I know, Stella... I just wanted to be fun for a night."
"Oh please, you are plenty of fun without alcohol. And if Emily doesn't think so, then that's her loss." Niall nodded and bit his lip the way he did when he wanted to say something he knew would start a fight. I didn't push.

"Eli isn't coming until lunch, I can drive you home if you want." I offered and he looked at me,

"so the two of you, it's serious?" And there it was, the question I had waited for.
I nodded. "We are. I really like him, and he treats me well."
"I didn't treat you well?" Niall asked and I shook my head, "No, you did. But it's different with Eli, he doesn't...-"
"He doesn't what?"
"He doesn't look at me and make me feel like it's my fault." Niall shook his head and grabbed my hands, I didn't pull away.

"I never intended for you to feel like it was your fault."
"I know you didn't, but that's how it felt and I can't live with that. I have made mistakes, Ni, but he doesn't judge me for it. He doesn't know about Ethan, Alfonzo, or Liam, or Eddie. He doesn't know about everything."
"So what you're saying is we've got to much history?"
"Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I know I've done stupid things, and I see everything when I look you in the eyes. I thought I wanted to marry you, and we could be one big happy family but this time apart had shown me that what I really wanted was a clean slate. A new beginning."

Niall listened to every word I said and when I finished, he took a deep breath.

"So we are really done then. There's no coming back."

I shook my head, there was no coming back. This was it.

"I think I should probably get home now." I nodded and we walked out to the car. I drove Niall home and when I stopped outside of his building and he was on his way out of the car, he turned to me.

"My lawyers will contacts yours about how we'll do with Ben. I don't want to intrude on your new family so it's better if we just talk through the lawyers, yeah?" I didn't think that was the best option at all, but I wasn't going to get into it with him right now so I just nodded. He opened the door and left the car.