Fingers Crossed (Synacky)

Chapter Fourteen

Author's Note: This is the final chapter. This was short, because Pinky Promise was short. Trust me, I could have stretched this over a much longer story. Expect an epilogue tomorrow, and thank you so much for reading this story! I hope you guys have enjoyed it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Anyway, thanks again! I love you guys :)

-foREVerADeathbat

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He was waiting on the bus when the guys arrived. “I’m ready to go home.” He said, “When does our flight leave?”

Matt opened his mouth to scold him, to sputter some fucking nonsense about letting down the fans, but he shut his mouth. “Tomorrow morning.” He replied, then to Matt, Jason’s brother. “Can you drive?”

The bus ride was uncommonly silent. Nine men, three women, and one dog, and none of them had anything to say. Brian sat on the couch, Zacky curled up as best he could in his lap, Pinkly in Zacky’s arms.

It was Arin, who spoke out, voice soft against the hum of the bus. “Are you in pain, Zacky?”

Zacky shrugged. “Not really. Sometimes my lungs give me issues, and the chemo makes me nauseous and really tired, but I’m not really in pain. Not yet, anyway.”

“So you don’t have a bug.” Johnny said, “You’re having side effects.”

Zacky nodded. Val asked, “Have you told Maria and James?”

His parents. Zacky shook his head. “Not yet. I haven’t told anyone else. Only you guys. And a statue at a shrine in Japan.”

Again, more silence. Zacky frowned, “You know, I’m still the same Zacky. You guys are acting like I’m from some foreign planet.”

“We’re just sad.” Brian rubbed Zacky’s arms. “We’re processing this.”

“We’ll get through it.” Matt spoke up, standing and looking around at the group on the bus. “Look at us, guys. We’ve all been through so much. And I can’t speak for Zacky, but I feel like this isn’t what he wants for us. We need to be happy while we have him with us. We need to enjoy and appreciate this time.” He looked at Zacky and asked in a small voice, “Right?”

Zacky nodded. “I’m sorry that this happened, guys, and I wish more than anything that I could change it. But since I can't…” he smiled, “Why not have a good time while I still can?”

There were murmurs of agreement, but the tone was still somber, which was to be expected. Brian kissed the skin under Zacky’s left ear, “I love you.” He murmured, and Zacky smiled softly, turning so he could kiss Brian gently.

“You know how I feel about you, Mr. Haner.”

~*~

The first few weeks home from the tour were difficult. Zacky told his family about the cancer, which they didn’t handle very well. They also released a statement to the fans, explaining Zacky’s condition, asking for prayers, even though they weren’t religious.

And with prayers, came the letters.

Zacky and Brian poured over them, paper upon paper, all from fans who cared, making Zacky feel incredibly cherished.

His hair began to fall out due to the treatments. He shed like a dog for a while, hair getting on his pillow, coming out in his comb. And a month later, Zacky stood in the bathroom, gazing at his bald reflection in the mirror.

“You are so beautiful.” Brian whispered, wrapping his arms around Zacky’s waist and kissing his temple. “With or without hair, you’re still absolutely perfect.”

He lost hair all over. Even his eyebrows started to thin, but they didn’t go away completely, which he was grateful for. And he was grateful for Brian.

On July 16th, they threw a party and invited everyone they knew. Zacky’s three month deadline was that day. His doctors thought he would have been dead by then. But he wasn’t even bedridden.

Matt and Val couldn’t make it to the party. They were having their own celebration, as Val brought a new life into the world that morning. River was a big boy, 9 pounds even, and the pictures Matt sent were adorable. So, July 16th became a celebration of life, in more ways than one.

They advised Zacky to stop having sex, but that didn’t mean he had to listen. They fucked often and made love more, and Zacky reveled in Brian as much as he could. He wasn’t sure what happened to you when you died, but he wanted to make sure he had enough Brian to tide him over so that he didn’t miss him too much when he left.

That was how they looked at it. Leaving. They never talked about Zacky dying, but if it was ever brought up, it was “When I leave,” “When Zacky leaves.”

They continued to plan the wedding at their slow, easy pace. Brian had wanted to do it quickly, but Zacky had stopped him. “Planning a wedding is stressful.” He told him, “And I’m getting more and more tired every day. Let’s just take it slow. If I make it, I make it, and if I don’t, I don’t.”

He handed off Vengeance University, his clothing line, to Arin, even though the band hadn’t decided yet if he would become a permanent member. But lying in bed one night, with Zacky’s eyes slipping closed, he told Brian, “I like Arin. I think you guys should keep him.”

Chemo was always a chore, and Zacky hated it. But he went anyways, every week without fail, and was friendly to the nurses and of course, Dr. Wright. He was tired of the nausea, the fatigue, the dizziness. He just wanted to cancer to go into remission, so at least he could have a little break.

He and Brian would cross their fingers before going in every week. It was their sign of belief, their desperate hope that, somehow, a miracle would happen.

And a miracle did.

His cancer went into remission at around the beginning of August, and he felt wonderful. After four weeks of no symptoms, the doctors even took him off chemo. So, they delved back into the music business. Treyarch Gaming Company asked them if they wanted to write a song for their new Call of Duty game, which Matt was all over. Zacky even had hair starting to grow on his head, and they got to have virtual imitations of themselves in the game. But Zacky demanded they put a full head of hair on his character.

They also began working on another album, with Arin. Everyone had bits and scraps of songs they had put together over the years since Nightmare came out, and by October, they had the skeleton of a song worked out.

October was the bad month.

Zacky woke up in the middle of the night, wheezing and coughing up blood, and he was rushed to the ICU. His cancer had returned with a vengeance. Dr. Wright strongly suggested that he not leave the hospital until the worst of it receded, and Brian and Zacky agreed, just wanting Zacky to feel better.

So much for that hair he had managed to grow back.

He grew weak very quickly, and slept often. Brian spent the first week at his side constantly, but he was forced to go home when he was too exhausted to walk straight.

Even then, he visited every day. Every spare moment he was at Zacky’s side. They went for walks when Zacky felt well enough, and on a particularly good day, they went down to the beach. On Halloween, as per Zacky’s request, Brian dressed up as Tinker Bell, complete with a much too short green dress and sparkly fairy wings. Zacky thought Brian looked sexy in it. “You should dress in drag more often.” He chuckled, and Brian nuzzled Zacky’s neck. “Only for you, my lost boy.”

Dr. Wright came in to administer his round of chemo, rolling her eyes at Brian. “Why am I not surprised?” she mumbled, before asking Zacky how he was feeling.

Before she attached the drip, Zacky crossed the fingers on his right hand, taking Brian’s with his left. “Fingers crossed?” he asked, and Brian smiled, crossing the fingers on his free hand.

“What do you think?”