Fingers Crossed (Synacky)

Chapter Twelve

Zacky’s POV

Their last show for the tour was in Dubai.

Zacky loved Dubai.

Their Indonesian show had, unfortunately, been cancelled. He had gone to his appointment, and the specialist there told him that his cancer was responding well to the chemotherapy. He was given a pill to take on the fourth, their Dubai date.

But when he arrived at the venue with the rest of the guys, it was apparent that the stage was not meant for performances. The whole place looked like it was going to fall down at any moment. So, Matt posted a note for the Indonesian fans regarding refunds on the website, as well as tweeted their apologies.

Things did not get any better between him and Brian. They didn’t speak to each other, and whenever Zacky looked at Brian, Brian glared in return.

Zacky was so sick of it. Not only that, he was physically sick. When they got on the bus to head to the venue in Dubai, he had to lie down and try to ignore the unpleasant churning of his stomach.

And they also fought on the bus.

Zacky was trying to prevent his body from hurling his guts all over the floor, when he heard Brian casually remark to the band, “Yeah, we’re through. He fucking cheated on me. I don’t know why we even got together in the first place.”

He sat up, eyebrows drawn together as he stared at Brian. “I fucking told you the truth, Brian.” He whispered through gritted teeth. “There has never been anyone else.”

Brian just rolled his eyes. “We’ve been over this.”

“And you’re too dense to realize that I’ve been telling the truth!” Zacky’s voice was louder than he had meant it to be. “I am so utterly smitten with you, Bri. Why do you have to dwell on that one assumption? I-I thought you loved me too. Surely if you did, you wouldn’t conclude that I-I’ve been screwing someone else. Did you ever really love me, Brian?”

“I told you to fucking grow a pair and tell me the truth, if you weren’t cheating.” Brian’s voice was dangerously low, and he stalked across the bus, standing in front of Zacky. “You have something to own up to, Baker?”

Zacky looked around the bus. Everyone but Dan was watching him, and Dan would have been too, if he hadn’t been driving.

He took one deep breath. Then another.

And Zacky broke down in tears.

Brian stepped back, surprised and confused. Zacky buried his face in his hands. ‘It’s time, Zacky, it’s now or never. You have to tell him now. Tell them now.’ “C-Cancer.” He whispered, “I have c-cancer.”

He couldn’t handle it. Zacky supposed that now was better than any other way. Since he and Brian were already through, maybe it wouldn’t hurt Brian as much. But it hurt him, to admit it out loud to everyone. It hurt him so much.

The whole bus was silent. Brian looked shocked, eyebrows raised, mouth hanging open.

Then slowly, his expression changed. “That’s-That’s a very low blow, Zacky, even for you. Lying that you have cancer, on top of lying about cheating? What the fuck is wrong with you? What, you think suddenly I’ll just throw you a fucking pity party?”

“It’s true, I-I swear.” Zacky looked around the bus. Apparently Brian wasn’t the only one who didn’t believe him. In fact, Matt seemed like the only person who did.

“I-I can prove it to you.” He fished his phone out of his pocket and called the hospital, putting it on speaker. As it rang, he whispered, “Please, you all have to believe me.”

He got himself transferred to Dr. Wright, a process he had become a pro at. And when she picked up, saying, “Zacky, is something wrong?” he whispered, “Tell them. You’re on speaker. Explain my situation.”

“Is it your fiancé?” she asked.

“Yes. And my friends. B-But they don’t believe me and-“ he paused to take a deep breath. “Just please let them know what’s going on.”

So, Dr. Wright explained. She told them how Zacky had stage 4 lymphoma, how it was terminal. She told them how she had been calling to check up on him, to discuss results with him, and to help him set up appointments for chemotherapy while on tour. She let them know that Zacky’s time was running out.

Zacky watched as their expressions switched from disbelief, to shock, and some, to horror. He thanked his doctor, hung up, and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

And it was Val who started to cry first.

Johnny whispered, “W-What? Zacky, why didn’t you tell us?”

“I-I didn’t want to cause you guys heartbreak.” He looked up at Brian. “I was just trying to avoid the pain for as long as possible.”

Brian was staring at Zacky, his expression blank. But his breathing was rapid, much too rapid, and he whispered, “I-I think I need to sit down. I-I need some air. Dan! Pull the fuck over!”

So, Dan pulled the bus over in the middle of the Dubai desert, and Brian stumbled out, collapsing down in the sand.

Jason pulled Zacky into a hug, which everyone joined, even the new kid. Dan didn’t know what was going on, but he joined the hug, sensing all the tension on the bus.

“Screw this show.” Johnny whimpered, his face buried in Zacky’s side. “I don’t fucking care. I-I can’t be expected to play now.”

And in that moment, Zacky felt loved, yet hollow at the same time. His eyes peered over Lacey’s head out the tour bus window to Brian, who was kneeling in the desert heat. He gripped his hands in his hair, and on the bus, they could hear him start to scream.