Fingers Crossed (Synacky)

Chapter Four

Brian’s car was in the driveway when Zacky came home. He heaved a huge sigh, sitting in the car for a moment after he’d pulled in before sliding the keys out of the ignition. Even then he wavered in the car. How could he keep something like this from Brian? He needed Brian now more than ever, he needed to talk with him about this and they could work it out and everything would be fine.

But he still had that nagging thought, he didn’t want to put Brian through that. No one had to know about this. He could get it treated, it would go away, and the only thing Brian would notice is the spot on his arm was gone. That’s all.

His thoughts wandered. What about his parents? The rest of the guys? His brother and sister? He remembered that very obvious word on the clipboard: terminal.

Zacky was going to die.

His breathing quickened and he felt a lump form in his throat. He tried desperately to push it down. ‘Don’t cry, Zacky, don’t you dare fucking cry!’

He managed to calm himself, glancing at his reflection in the rearview mirror before stepping out of the car. Inside, Brian was indeed writing a solo, sitting cross legged on the floor of the living room, back bent over his guitar as he scrawled out some tabs.

Brian didn’t notice Zacky, and Zacky didn’t make a sound. He stood still and watched his fiancé, hair combed but not styled, in his pajamas, looking absolutely adorable. He couldn’t see his face, but Zacky knew Brian had his eyebrows bent in concentration, mouth hanging slightly opened, completely focused on the task at hand.

With a deep breath, Zacky called out, “Hey.”

Brian turned around, eyes lighting up at the sight of Zacky. “Hey, Zee.” He stood, setting his guitar aside. “Where’ve you been?”

“I had that meeting with Schecter, I thought I told you…” Brian enveloped Zacky in a hug, and Zacky halfheartedly returned the embrace.

“You left your guitars here. All of them. I just figured if you were meeting with them you would have taken at least one guitar…”

Shit.

Brian pulled away, looking at Zacky quizzically, expecting an answer. Zacky racked his brain for ideas.

“I just used the one that they had there. I think I left it there last time we did an interview with them.”

Brian nodded, stepping back, regarding Zacky. Zacky felt squeamish under his gaze, offering a weak smile. “What is it?”

Brian’s eyebrows drew together in a frown, and he said, “You’re lying. But that’s okay. I know you’ve got some reason for this, and you’ll tell me eventually, right?”

“But I’m not lying!” Zacky replied, “Bri…”

“I don’t want to hear it right now.” Brian turned and began to walk away. “I know you’ll tell me what you’ve been up to when you’re good and ready.”

He went to their bedroom and the door shut softly behind him. Zacky closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to ward off the oncoming headache.

He needed to go into the bedroom. He had to hug Brian and kiss him and reassure him that he could be trusted, that he was telling the truth.

But he wasn’t telling the truth, and Zacky had had enough lies for one day.

In the bedroom, Brian was reading a book. He licked his thumb before turning the page, eyes scanning the lines. Zacky went to his dresser and pulled out a set of clothes, before stuffing them in a bag.

“What are you doing?” Zacky knew Brian’s eyes were now on him even though he was facing away from his fiancé, and he was careful not to turn and face him. He didn’t want Brian’s look to send him over, to make him spill out everything.

“Packing some stuff.” He replied shortly, going into their bathroom to grab his toothbrush and comb.

“For the tour?”

“No.” Zacky bit his lip, coming out of the bathroom and forcing himself to look at Brian. “I’m going out.”

“Where?” Brian’s expression switched to one of confusion, and Zacky winced a little at the hurt that had begun to linger.

“LA. Just for the night. You obviously don’t believe me when I’m telling the truth and so I figured it’s time I take a break.”

“What?” Brian searched Zacky’s face, and he put the book aside, spreading his arms. “Baby… come here.”

Zacky stayed put.

“Look, Zee, if you say you went to Schecter and they had a guitar there for you, that’s fine. I believe you. Schecter is a guitar research facility, for christ’s sake! But you don’t have to leave…”

“I want to.” Zacky replied, “Just for the night. It’ll be good to give each other some space, especially before the tour.”

“Space? I-I don’t need space.” Brian frowned, and his lip puffed out a little bit like always when he was upset.

“Well, I do.”

Brian looked at Zacky forlornly. “Y-You sure? We could cuddle some. C’mere, love, I just-“

“I’m sure.” Zacky smiled softly, going to Brian’s side and kissing him. “I’m sorry, baby.” He went to kiss Brian again, but Brian snagged him, pulling Zacky onto him and tickling his sides.

“Stop, Brian!” Zacky giggled, squealing with laughter and shoving at Brian’s hands, “P-Please!”

“Say pretty please.” Brian was grinning, and Zacky howled, “Pretty please, B-Brian I swear to god!”

“With a cherry on top?”

“F-Fuck, Brian, I can’t breathe!”

And he couldn’t. Brian stopped tickling him, but Zacky couldn’t catch his breath. “Zacky?”

Zacky held up a finger, swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he struggled to force air down his lungs.

“Zacky, what’s wrong?” Brian’s voice became frantic instantly, “Are you okay?”

He nodded, and after a few moments of nothing but the sound of his labored breaths, he said, “I’m fine. I’m good.”

Brian looked at Zacky sadly, kissing his cheek. “Are you sure?”

Again, he nodded, standing up. “I’m positive.”

“I’m sorry.” Brian looked down at the ground. “I didn’t mean for that to happen, I just… I just wanted you to have some fun. I don’t want you to go away.”

“It’s just for one night, Bri, you’ll be fine.” Zacky kissed him gently, letting his lips linger on Brian’s as he whispered, “Bye, Bribri.”

“You’re leaving now?” Brian asked, and Zacky nodded.

“I’ll be back tomorrow evening. I love you.” Zacky picked up his bag and headed for the door. He barely heard Brian reply, “I love you, too.”