There was no light within him.
From the midnight curls to his charcoal eyes that stalked prey. He was the dark magic mother warned me of, and I wanted to be hexed. He was no match for me.
"I want to know you"
In which a girl whose only experience la...
A/N: Thank all of you for reading thus far! For the lovely comments and just being here in general so thanks y'all!
The true epitome of Kanye's "Doctors say I'm the illest, cause I'm suffering from realest" Das y'all
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NUMB
That's all I felt in my everyday life. Except when I was fighting of course, but that was only physical byproduct. I don't feel happiness, being angry all the time takes too much effort and admitting my depression would only make it worse.
At this point, I am just existing
Once in my time, drugs ruled me. Anything I could get my hands on would do. Ecstasy, molly and oxy on fixed rotations. Acid was my favorite. Just to be able to feel like I was still there, like I wasn't just a shell with ten too many cracks .
Over time that slowly seeped away when I neared her, thoughts of her replaced the negative space in my head of one way shitty feelings. I didn't feel better, but at least around her I felt like I wasn't suffocating.
First I believed it to be because she didn't judge me. That because she had experience with more than just idiots at public school, she was too open minded. Giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. It was moronic and naive of her. I feel like she knew it was foolish yet, strangely enough put herself in my line of vision both purposely or not. She demanded to be heard each time.
Maybe at first it started out as just that, me attaching self to someone; anyone who wouldn't recoil or jitter.
But as the months got chillier, a physical section of me became swallowed in warmth around her. Of course, I denied this affection.
It was pointless, irrelevant and would disperse on it's own in due time, unfortunately it only grew stronger with our interactions. I didn't want it to. The opposite sex and intimacy was nothing foreign. But having a girl I may like and not just to cure my need for sex..was alien.
Above all, it was dangerous
I had solidified enemies, a dungeon of demons and skulls. What did she have? A friend who cared and a family that vomited unconditional love and support. A future.
The responsibility of loving her was intimidating
I didn't know how to love, I knew how to act like I didn't give a damn. She sees though every time though. Every time.
She wouldn't shut-up, rambling on about what shit Natasha was talking about me. I couldn't care less, 10/10 chances I've been called much worse. Hate speech doesn't break me. So I kissed her to quiet her down..well partially
I was at my locker when I got the text, from Phoebe no less. I knew I had to be there before the little mouse got herself into more than she could ever handle.
This is Phoebe, Dawn NEEDS you like asap. If you're not the asshole she defends you not to be, you would hurry to the main hallway.
Static clicked in me, like something had sparked a fire. Even imagining her hurt equalled the pain of a spear shooting through my chest. I was infuriated that anyone would even try to fuck with her, she was little mouse. Annoying and friendly, and she will noteven be looked at with contempt while I'm still kicking
