Behind The Mask: An 'I'm Fine, Don't Worry' Story

Part 3

We walked in silence for a couple minutes, avoiding the school gates at all costs. Strolling along mindlessly, we found a small park bench, and sat down next to each other.
"What the heck were you doing?!" Miv spoke, scolding me in a not so harsh way. "Dude, that guy was huge. Like huge huge. All you did was stand there!"

"Miv, you know full well why I just stood there!"

He went quiet, staring into my eyes with sympathy, yet no feelings of affection present.

"Yeah, sorry, I just wish you'd be more careful and walk with a friend to school or something."

"I'm fine on my own, I don't need a pity walking partner. Social anxiety doesn't make people immobile."

That's right. Social anxiety. The anxiety of socialism. When my heart travels up my throat whenever I have to speak to someone new. When my stomach twists as I present in front of a large class of audience. When I flinch, when someone laughs behind me, my head rushing with thoughts about how they are all about me. Social anxiety. How I can't express my feelings to anyone, unless I trust them with my life dearly.
Trust is pretty rare. You trust someone. If that person does one action, it could change the whole view of the person. Trust is fragile. To build trust back is like trying to stick a shredded piece of paper back together with a Pritt Stick. Broken trust is like shattering a mirror, something that you saw yourself in, but now it has disappeared, without a warning. Trying to build back trust is like picking up those pieces of glass. You'll only get hurt. Again.

"Sunhoo, just please be safe. Now come on, we're already late." Miv said, before standing, and strolling towards the park gates. "You coming?"

"Yeah, coming."

My heart sank. When I looked in his eyes, I didn't see anything. Behind the specks of beautiful green glistening, there was nothing. Just a dark empty space. Air in a galaxy. Not even a star. He didn't feel any sort of affection for me. The only reason he saved me today was because he was probably the only person walking past at the time. He doesn't care about me. Nobody does. It'd be better off if I was gone, it wouldn't make a difference anyway.

*Time skip*

Last class of the day. Thank God. I don't know how I survived. Through papers of coursework, I tunneled my way out and made it to the last lesson. However, this was one of the worst lessons of the day.
Well, by worst I mean best, but worst at the same time.
The lesson with Miv, Hyun and Geon. The three boys that affect my life drastically.

Hyun: My Ex-Boyfriend. I regret it 100% ever going out with him, but there's something about him I can't seem to let go of. Like I'm clutching way too hard at a rope, I just need to let go.

Geon: I guess you could say he was my second crush. He treats me way better than Miv ever does, and he trusts me. More than some of his best friends.

My thoughts drifted away from me as the teacher rambled on about a subject I didn't understand, nor hear about. I began doodling in my notebook. The letters 'M' 'H' and 'G' were sketched in calligraphy on the page of my notebook.
I slammed the book shut when I discovered the teacher had me tied.
"Open the book, Miss Sunhoo."
"Why?"
"What have you been writing?"
"Nothing."
He snatched the book out of my hands and took it too his desk. "After school, 60 minutes."

I sighed in despair. I really didn't want to stay an extra hour at the place I didn't even wanna be at.
However my mind skips to the start of the day when Miv told me about his sanctions.
"Detention tonight, ugh."
Some relief grew in my chest, knowing I have somebody I know coming at the same time.

This detention's  gonna turn out way too bad.