The Spring of Autumn

10 - Late Night Talks

Song for this Chapter: Step - Vampire Weekend

I must admit that I'm a little surprised by how openly I am talking to him, even though he doesn't speak a lot. Something about his presence makes it easy to talk to him. It must be his calm attitude.

We sit in complete silence for a few minutes and the rhythm of his breathing combined with the low music of the party slowly makes me fall into a relaxed trance until I hear his voice again.

"Have you ever wondered what life would be like if everyone would be honest with each other?"

His sudden question takes me by surprise and I have to think about it for some time before answering. What a random thing to ask someone.

"Well. In order to say what's on my mind, I would have to get free of any fear of being judged. Maybe I would seem like a completely different person to others. It would help in some ways but then again...some truths are better left untold."

I have to catch my breath from the unexpected speech I just gave him.
For some reason, the words sounded more emotional when I said them out loud.

He nods, looking into the distance. Maybe he didn't like my answer.
I wonder what made him ask that, but I don't want to interrupt the intoxicating silence with my endless questions.

Instead, I use the moment of his inattentiveness to really look at him from up close for the first time.

I can examine his face from where I sit.
There is a little pale scar below his ear, right next to his jawline. His high cheekbones are slightly pink from the cool night air. A few hair strands fall onto his forehead and he pushes them back again. He really has big hands. What was it that people say about big hands again? I don't remember.

"You're not like those people" I blurt out and point to the frat house behind us.

"Aren't you friends with them?" I add, remembering how he teased me about this before.

Kees gives me a short muffled answer by saying "No I'm not."

"What are you doing here then?" I ask again.

He seems to have a sense of humor but still, there is something guarded about him.
I can't quite put my finger on it.

"Nothing, I just didn't feel like being alone."

"But you were sitting outside by yourself-"

"But you're here now so I'm not alone", he interrupts me as if it's the most ordinary thing to say to a stranger. But his smile makes up for the lack of explenation.

I examine his face again and say the only thing that comes to my mind.

"You are so odd."

"Thanks a lot."

The way he scrunches his nose makes him look like a little kid.
I have to bite back a smile. "My pleasure,"

When I check the time on my phone I remember that I have to be up early tomorrow.
I don't want to leave yet but I'm starting to feel worried about being late for orientation in the morning if I stay up too late.

"Anyway, I should really check on my friend. I haven't seen her in a while and she has a tendency to do weird things when she's drunk."

I can see a hint of disappointment in his eyes but he doesn't say anything else and just nods.

I kind of regret my decision but can't undo it because I'm already standing and decide to follow through with my plan.

When I enter the house, I directly make my way into the crowded living room and walk around for a while but can't find her.