Thomas Sanders Sides OneShots 4

I'm not your friend - Patton & Felix

"Look at you; you're terrified. Pathetic, really" Felix would say, "I can't believe you're still alive. After everything you've gone through. Wouldn't it be better to end it all now? You only cause your father more grief; more pain. That's not what you want, is it?" It hurt. Of course it hurt. And the first few times Felix showed up Patton couldn't bare it. He would cry until he woke up in the real world, and cry even harder after. Sometimes he wondered how he hadn't died of dehydration. Then he wondered why he doesn't end it all himself.

Although, something happened - something changed. Patton stopped caring. About the words, anyway. They were so frequent, from Felix and his father, they stopped bothering him. Felix noticed - he tried harder, but Patton would start up conversation instead, finding it easier to tolerate Felix if he did it this way. When he and his father moved state, it's when the physical abuse began, and it was the first time he cried in front of Felix for awhile.

Patton expected insults; he half expected to be abused by Felix, too, but instead, the voice was silent, and allowed Patton to calm his sobs to sniffles and hiccups. "Idiot" Felix told him, "didn't anyone ever teach you how to block?" He would scoff, and teach him. Teach him how to deflect, apply the right amount of pressure back at punches so he could block his face when his fathers first came hurdling towards him - Felix would never go a sentence by without a word of abuse, but Patton didn't care, because what he heard was Felix helping him.

That was when he gave the voice a name.

"Thank you, Felix"

"Excuse me?"

Patton smiled. "Felix. That's your name. Felix"

"Don't you dare, you moronic, worthless pile of shit"

Patton flinched at that one, ducking his head down. He hated the phrase 'pile of shit' - it was the one his father called him the most. The only one that had some punch left in it. Felix noticed. Felix commented on it. Felix mocked him about it. Patton noticed Felix never said it again.

Even after months passed, and newer students arrived, Patton was still alone. He told teacher after teacher; yet he still received abuse. In the end, he gave up. Truly Felix was the only thing keeping him alive. He thought he could live through it, he thought he would leave high school with his head held high, starting anew in collage, but it was close to graduation, and Patton didn't know if he could last.

It never changed; it was the same damn routine. Every day. Breakfast made by his father, verbal abuse received at all ends from school, even more torture endured at home until he fell asleep, silently hoping to be plagued with Felix in his dreams.

Somehow, past the insults, Patton picked out the hidden meaning behind everything Felix said, and he smiled, a bright smile in such a dark room.

That was until Felix stopped appearing in his dreams. A week passed, nothing, two weeks passed, nothing again. Week after week after week, nothing. It turned into months. Patton was worried, but the more time passed, the more he felt alone. Without Felix, he had no one. No one that made him smile even for those brief few minutes, no one to help him forget about his life he could barely trudge through anymore. That was when he gave up; he couldn't do it anymore.

Life isn't worth living if this is all it would be. Abuse. Insults. Abuse. Insults. Abuse. Insults.

The night he told himself he'd do it was also the first night in months he cried himself to sleep.

Being surrounded by darkness when he awoke was the first time he didn't feel comforted by it. He sat up, drew his legs to his chest, and sighed out lowly. "I'm sorry, Felix" Patton murmured into the ringing silence. "I can't carry on. It's to much I-I-" his voice wavered and he buried his face into his knees. "You can be free" Patton managed, giggling slightly at the idea - "you can finally have that party in celebration. Please act responsibly, though. I wouldn't want you getting hurt"