I will no longer be updating this guide. I'm leaving it up in case it will continue to be helpful to anyone in the future.
People have asked me writing tips, Wattpad tips, and whatever. This is some of that advice I give them. Keep in mind most of t...
So instead of saying something like: "He is a nerd" I might instead say something like: His shirt, embroidered with the markings of a red Dalek, clung to his moist skin as he studied the math equation. If he didn't pass this test, he'd lose his perfect score.
That's not the greatest example given it's perfectly fine to use "he is a nerd", but trying to come up with examples on the fly is rough. In that little statement though we now know he is a nerd, and he's sweating, and he's trying to keep a perfect score.
Let's try another.
Bob is OCD.
What makes a person OCD? Is it because they can't resist fixing crooked objects? Does a speck of dust drive them to madness? Maybe they can't open a door without turning the knob seven times. Break down what makes this person OCD and tell us those things.
Bob approached the door from the right-hand side, always the right. If he approached it from the left it became a vacuum waiting to suck him deep into the depths of hell. His hands wrung together, a lump growing in his throat. The handle called to him, but he had to approach it the proper way. One hand touched the brass handle, moisture seeped from his pores. It had to be right; there was no other option for him. He turned the knob three inches to the left, then twisted it back to the left four times. With a final jiggle of the handle, he opened the door.
Yes, showing gets wordier, that's why it's better to find the proper balance. If Bob's OCD is unimportant to the story then just say he's OCD and move on. There's no need to go into detail if it doesn't matter Bob is OCD. If that hot day isn't going to set the mood for the environment, then just say it's a hot day. If the telling makes sense, then tell it.
If that hot day is going to make the characters journey come to life for the reader, don't tell it. Show it's a hot day. Talk about the sweat clinging clothes to the characters skin. Maybe the skin is starting to feel like it's on fire. Perhaps the character needs to drink a lot of water to stay hydrated. Decide what you sense on a hot day and show us those things.
If the grass is damp and it's going to cause some friction with the character, don't tell us the grass is damp. Show us the dew drops on the blade. Maybe the character steps in a mud puddle or feels the moisture on their feet.
How is that ominous hall where the character is about to meet their demise, ominous? Is it dark? Are there disturbing sounds? Maybe there's a smell of staleness lingering in the air. Don't just say "The hall was ominous and made the character frightened for death." What is it about that hallway that conveys that emotion within the character? There has to be something. You don't just walk into a hallway and think "Gee, I think this hallway might kill me. Oh my."
If you need to, google pictures of wet grass, dark hallways, whatever else might match your scene. Stare at those pictures and figure out how to show that scene in your mind. If that candlestick on the nightstand isn't important, then forget it. No need to show that. But if the way the light reflects off the door handle means something, show it to us. While you're doing that, ask yourself "Is this important?"
Do you really need to describe in great detail the way the moon reflects off the river? If the character is going to spend five seconds outside, then no. You probably don't need to do that. Just tell us it's shining so we know it's night time and send the character indoors.
Does the weight of the backpack in the characters hand matter? If she's going to use it to bludgeon someone to death, yes. So show us it's heavy.
Let's try one with descriptions of a character. Here is a common tell people, myself included, have in their work: She is beautiful.
Okay, how is she beautiful? Is it her perfectly trimmed hair? Does she have high cheek bones? Maybe it's the way her eyes feel like they change colors? Don't just tell us she's beautiful. Show us. Let us be the ones to decide if she's beautiful or not. If her beauty is important enough you're pointing it out to us, show it. If her beauty isn't important then, honestly, why are you telling us?
A lot of people prefer the less is more theory when it comes to character descriptions. They tell enough we can figure out if the character has dark hair or not, but they don't paint the entire picture. That's perfectly fine. Sometimes reading a paragraph or more on a characters look will bore the reader. If the character is grotesque, then show us. Maybe she has crooked teeth that are turning black due to decay. Maybe there is a hairy mole on her nose. Maybe she's covered in liver spots. What makes this character grotesque to look at and is it important? Obviously if the character is the Wicked Witch from OZ, we need to know she's ugly. That played an important roll. But if this character being ugly doesn't mean anything, why do we, the reader, need to know it?
Here are a couple of "tells" that you can try to turn into "shows" for practice:
He is sad.
Kathy is mad.
"Please help me," he said sadly.
The sky is bright.
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