A Rose by Any Other Name

Chapter 40

I pushed my fingers through my hair. "I remember the first time I re-met you and it didn't matter what I said or what I did or if I was upset you were always warm, and acceptant and kind. When we visited your family for dinner and we slept in the same bed..." I touched my chest. "My heart never beat that fast before. It felt like the butterflies in my stomach were just going to explode. And when we went on our first date, when we held hands for the first time, when you kiss me. All those things, all those moments are perfect for me." I swallowed. "You're perfect to me. And I wish that I realized it sooner because you are too good for me, because you're more patient than I'll ever be and I was so lucky. I was so lucky to have you. So, you don't have to worry about my having ever loved you because I still do. And, I know that's the wrong thing to say but I'm going to be honest with you from now on. I'm not asking for you to take me back because even for me that's too selfish. But seeing you sad is-" my voice cracked and I pushed powerless fingers through my hair again. "I'm sorry if this is because of me."

I watched Mike waiting for him to say something. My heart broke into a thousand pieces when I saw a tear slip down his face. I let out an anguished groan, walking over to him. I couldn't help it. I cupped his face, swiping away his tears with my thumbs. "Oh, Mike. Please don't cry. No, no, no, no. I can fix this. Just tell me what to do. Tell me what to say."

Mike reached up and held my wrists. For a moment we just stared at one another. And then he laughed. A little small and a little broken. "That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Mike said in a voice garbled by almost tears.

He looked like he was about to say something when my phone started vibrating on the table. Whatever moment we were having fizzled into awkwardness. I took my hands off of Mike's face and snatched up my phone. Mike got up to clear the breakfast plates.

"What. Do. You. Want." I said through my teeth, hating whoever had interrupted.

"That's a terrible way to greet your doctor who has stayed up all night trying to figure out what curse you have." Ky said in his gravelly voice.

Oh shit, this again. "Listen, Ky. That whole curse situation? It's good now." I mumbled. "I'm fine."

There was a moment where I could actually feel the silence. "What is that supposed to mean?" Ky said eventually.

I went to the guest bedroom, and explained the situation in a rush feeling the seconds tick by as Mike was in another room slipping further and further away from me.

"Jesus Christ." Ky said afterwards. "I'll have to inform the Magic Federation about this, Derrick. Being able to curse someone because you get a little emotional is a potential danger not only to yourself as evidenced by what happened but maybe others, too."

"What?" I said, pacing the room and looking back at the door repeatedly. "Yeah, sure, whatever. But I can't talk right now."

"This is serious, Derrick."

"Okay, talk to you later. And sorry you had to stay up for me, I should have texted you as soon as I realized." I took a breath, speaking honestly. "Thank you for everything you've done for me Ky."

I hung up while Ky was trying to reply. By the time I got back out into the living room, Mike was slipping on his shoes, and picking up his briefcase. He was dressed in another sinfully tailored suit. Damn, he was wearing the cuff links. I don't even think he realized it. But that potentially accidental gesture made my heart swell.

Mike checked his watch and turned to me. "I'll drop you off."

#

The car ride was awkward as I sat there looking for the perfect words. The minutes kept ticking by as we got closer and closer to my apartment. By the time we were turning the corner nothing had been said.