Casting Flames

Chapter Eleven

"Depends on what the potion does."

"What if I told you just to trust me on this?"

"I'd tell you I don't trust anyone. You're not getting anything unless you tell me what the potion is for."

It takes me ten seconds.

Eight. I will not scream.

Seven. I take a deep breath.

Five. Open your eyes and look at him.

Three. Tell him.

One.

"To bind my powers."

He narrows his eyes. "Bind your powers?" His eyebrows have sank.

"Yes."

"Why would you want to do that?"

"I'll unbind them for the performance for the Chancellor or whatever, but until then I need help controlling them."

"You hardly even use them. Why would you need help controlling them?"

"It's not to bind the casting spells part. It's about my birth power."

He lowers his hands. Leans back in his chair, and looks at me with focused, concerned eyes. "Birth power?"

"Yes. I mentioned it when I first got here, sort of." I glance at my hands. "I told you I could feel the soldiers fear at the prison. That's my birth power. I can feel other people's emotions, kind of. Like an empath, only sometimes I feel the emotions like they are my own and it gets overwhelming. And practicing magic, casting spells, it makes it stronger. Unbearable. That's why I didn't want to heal the bird or blow up the posts or use my power at all. I had my powers bound when I was very little so I wouldn't have to feel everyone's emotions, and I unbound my powers to save my little sister. I would have bound them again but I didn't have the necessary ingredients for the potion. But you're the commander of an entire district, I figure you could probably help me get them."

I watch him, waiting, hoping he buys it. But he shows no signs of it, not until he leans forward, gets to his feet, leans against the table beside me and looks down at me over his shoulder.

"Why didn't you just tell me this to begin with?"

I shrug. "I guess I was afraid... afraid that you'd want me to use them on people for your benefit. But you have to know that I can't control it, and it's actually really hard to deal with. All the different emotions floating around are..." I struggle to find the right words, and not because this is all just some twisted excuse, but because it actually is part of the truth. "Overwhelming." I take a deep breath.

He stares at me for several, long seconds before he nods, once. "Make your list and give it to Pierce. I'll have what you need as soon as I can."

I shake my head, agreeing. "Thank you."

Thank you for believing me. Otherwise, your Chancellor would definitely be in extreme danger. Not that I like the guy, but I don't want the Caster's taking over the America's either. My loyalties lie with the humans, always, for Ella and mom.

"So can you feel what I'm feeling right now?" His voice and his question startle me. I look up at him, finding his expression purely and genuinely curious.

I smile at him, really smile at him, because I can't help but like this side of him. The side that loves to ask questions and understand, and the side that smiles. I've seen the way his soldiers look at him. The way they shift when he smiles or laughs, even if it's just for a fleeting second.

"No," I say. "But if you touch me—"

"So that day, in the meeting room. That's why you jumped?"

I pause, remembering the anger burning inside him. Consuming him. "Yes," my voice cracks, and I wish it hadn't because now his expression has changed, twisted into something I haven't seen before from him.

"I was having a bad day."

I laugh under my breath. "Do you ever have a good day?" I look up at him through my eyelashes.

He lets out a huff of a laugh, too. "Not in a very long time."

"You should try and enjoy life every once in a while."

"Says the girl who spent most her life skipping school and playing in the mud."

He shouldn't know that. How does he know that?

"Don't look so surprised," he chuckles out loud, a sound that changes the mood of the entire room. "I told you, I did my research on you. I read every report, every grade card, every medical report. I even had my men interview the soldiers at the prison."

I raise an eyebrow, unable to remove the smile from my lips. "That's kinda creepy."

He laughs again, and I think I've just done something, somehow. It's like by trusting him with a secret, even if it was partially a lie, I've made a crack in the walls he's built around himself.

"I suppose in a certain light it is. But we don't just pick any random half-blood off the street... or prison. We have to be careful about who we decide to bring into our circle."

"And what about these other half-bloods... We're sure they're loyal to humans?"

"They all grew up with humans, just like you. They are loyal to humans for the same reasons you are. They have human families, and they don't want Casters to destroy their home and make their families suffer."

I look at my hands in my lap, picking at my fingernails. "I've never met another Caster before."

He's silent for a moment. Then he pushes off the table and says, quietly, "That will change soon."