You Are Mine ✔

Chapter Nineteen

*Nikita's POV*

Everything around me seemed hazy, like my mind was working in slow motion. My body felt heavy and weak as I crawled to the edge of my bed. The walls of my room are starting to drive me insane, I can't take looking at them any longer. The need to be up and moving was outweighing the dark pit of despair I felt inside. Quin finally convinced me that we would feel better after getting out for a little bit. Making my way slowly to the bathroom, my body slow and sluggish as I drag my feet. Maybe I shouldn't go out.. just lay in bed. That sounds really good.

'No Nikita! Please, just get in the shower. That will wake you up a bit more, make you feel more like a person.'

'But.. the bed is so comfy.'

'Please Nik, for me?' Her pleading voice made me sigh. I couldn't deny her any longer. We really did need to get out of this room.

'Fine.' I grumbled as I stepped into the bathroom. My own reflection staring back at me startled even myself. I looked like a homeless person.. My hair was a giant knotted mess that I kept throwing up into a bun. My eyes looked like I went a few rounds with Rocky..or maybe I was turning into a raccoon.

'Ew! We could never be one of those trash pandas!' Quin spoke, disgust clear in her voice. I chuckled and shook my head slightly.

'What is it with you and raccoon's?'

'Nothing, I just hate the filthy bastards.'

'Mm, okay.' Was all I said before turning away from the mirror and shedding out of my clothes. At least they weren't too disgusting anymore since Dominic got me changed after my bath yesterday.

'You mean when you went psycho coo coo pants and almost flooded the house? Yeah if you can call that a bath, then sure.' Quin piped in sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes while ignoring her and turned the shower on. Once it was the right temp, I stepped in. The water pelting down on my back felt nice, refreshing. A small smile filtered across my lips while I worked shampoo into the rats nest on my head. Like I said, I have always loved the water, showers were my safe space. My arms still felt sluggish and heavy as I rinsed the soap from my hair but the warm water really was waking me up. I think I used about half the bottle of conditioner, my fingers massaging it into my scalp was like heaven. Quickly scrubbing my body as the conditioner soaked into my hair I decided to make myself feel even more 'normal' and shave. After rinsing out the conditioner I turned the water off, reaching out I grabbed the giant fluff of a towel and wrapped it around my body before doing the same with my dripping wet hair.

Finding comfy clothes was a struggle, nothing I put on felt right. They all felt suffocating and the one thing that felt okay was leggings. After my undergarments I quickly dressed in a pair of black leggings before discarding my hair towel into the hamper in the bathroom as I set to work on the knots and tangles in my hair. Once that was finished I made me way to the bedroom door before making sure the towel wrapped around my upper half was secure. Opening it slowly before peeking out. Thanking the goddess that Jack-jack or Dominic weren't lurking about in the hall. Those two have been the only thing keeping me grounded, without them or Quin I don't know what I might do. After my little episode last night I knew I owed Dominic an apology. None of this was his fault, it was no ones fault..well other than my own maybe.

'Stop it! There was nothing you did wrong Nic. I told you, something was wrong from the very beginning. We were not meant to have that pup. It would have come out wrong, mentally and physically..' Sadness filled me as Quin and I thought of our lost pup. I tiptoed out of my room and made my way down to Dominic's. Maybe she's right, maybe it wasn't my fault but I couldn't help thinking it was. There must be something wrong with me.. That thought made perfect sense as I opened the door to Dom's room and slipped in quietly.