Wanted Love (KLance) AU

chapter 5

Just a warning, this chapter deals with some serious topics, so read with caution in case it might trigger something.

That moment when your meme chapter gets more views than the actual chapter that you uploaded right before. 

Also, season 8 killed me and I've died and gone to be a ghosty lol bye suckers

Recap:

I finished getting dressed just as Lance got back with the paperwork, and we soon headed out to get me a haircut. 

On the way to the barbers, Lance suggested that we go get some ice cream. "What's that?" I asked. 

"G A S P" Lance said, feigning an offended look with a hand on his chest.

"Did you really just say the word 'gasp'?"

"Yes I did, you gotta problem with it?"

In response I just emptied my face of all emotion and continued walking, not sparing Lance another look.

I was looking at the ground as I walked, naturally, as so many people being around us on the streets was starting to freak me out, although I would never admit to such a thing. 

I was not allowed to have weaknesses. 

I subconsciously pulled my jacket sleeve further down my wrist to cover my number and the variety of scars that cover nearly my whole body. 

My breathing started to get shallower as I thought of all the people I've killed and hurt, how they begged me for mercy and to spare them. 

I couldn't though.

They had to die a slow and painful death at my hand.

It was all my fault.

I did this to them.

'itwasallmyfaultitwasallmyfaultitwasallmyfaultitwasallmyfaultitwasallmyfault'

I faintly heard a person yell something but it all sounded like it was under water.

'ikilledthemallikilledthemallikilledthemallikilledthemallikilledthemall'

My knees fell out from under me but I hardly noticed.

I couldn't breathe, but that didn't really seem to bother me.

I looked up and I say a blurry figure with beautiful tan skin and clear blue eyes that looked like the ocean on a sunny day, with great emotion contorting their stunning features.

Then it all went dark. 

-

My eyes snapped open.

I was in a bright white room laid on a cold medical table. 

I tried to sit up but was immediately pulled back down by tight metal straps on my wrists, ankles, waist, and chest. 

I looked around rapidly telling myself that I wasn't back there, I couldn't be.

I was supposed to be safe. 

Slowly all the white faded to gray and then black.

The table faded out from under me and suddenly I was falling. 

I hit the water beneath me with a splash.

It filled my lungs with fire and ice.

I couldn't breathe, but had I ever been able to in the first place?